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Sanity Plan Success Stories – Raising Kids Far from Home

February 16, 2018 By Sara M. 1 Comment

One of the things I love the most about the Sanity Plan is getting the opportunity to see how other people put their own Sanity Plans in action. The following post is a guest post written by an American woman who is raising her children abroad. I got to know Emily through a writing group we belong to and found her story incredibly interesting. I hope you do, too!

A Sanity Plan: Three R’s that Keep My Life Abroad Balanced 

As an American mom married to a Czech, keeping a healthy life balance while raising children abroad is a top priority. My family has lived in the Czech Republic for more than 13 years now. Many Czech friends, my own children, and my mother ask me why we don’t live in America, or when we’re planning to return to the US. I used to ask myself the same thing.

Now, I can’t imagine leaving.

Over the years, I’ve tried to understand where home is for my family. Like many expats, I’ve had moments where I’ve wanted to pack my bags and wave goodbye to the Czech Republic for good, and I’ve had moments in the US where I’ve longed for the day of my flight to arrive to take me back to Prague.

On good days, I am at home in my adopted country of the Czech Republic. Beer is cheaper than water, there are more castles per square meter than in any other European country, and Czechlish is my family’s language of choice. I thrive on the atmosphere of growth that comes from living in a country different from where I grew up, where even going to the store to buy meat can be an adventure.

Then, there are the bad days. When the supermarket clerk gives me a cold stare that brings me to tears, or the heating goes out, and I don’t know the right words to say to the serviceman in Czech. When my children are embarrassed that I can’t speak Czech like a native, or I yearn to chat with my mother but realize by the time she’s awake, my day will be halfway gone.

Despite believing that making a home in the Czech Republic was the right decision for my family, I do miss my roots (a lot).

To help me feel grounded in my life abroad, I have created a Sanity Plan that I like to call “My 3 R’s.” Based on rituals that I can do wherever, whenever I need to feel balanced, “My 3 R’s” are an essential part of keeping my own sanity. These rituals are what I give to myself to keep my passions alive, my sense of humor intact, and to remind myself of who I am beyond the labels (mother, wife, teacher, writer, fill in the blank).

My 3 R’s:  w(R)iting, Reading, and Running

Writing (and friends who write)

Years ago, I met two Americans in Prague who liked to write as much as I did. One evening a week, we shared our stories over dinner. With encouragement from my friends, I began to write a weekly column called Half-n-Half for a local newspaper.

The column was a way for me to make sense of the cultural differences (and similarities) that I observed while living in the Czech Republic. Even when I had more important things to do (change diapers, help with homework, or teach English lessons), whenever I stopped writing, I grew grumpy and irritable. So, I picked up my pencil.

Writing was how I took a step back from my life. It was also a way for me to connect with other foreigners living in the Czech Republic and Czechs living abroad.

The other day, my preteen daughter asked me why I spent so much time writing my stories, if I didn’t get much money from them. While I fumbled to answer, getting emotional and half apologizing for my dedication to something that wasn’t putting money into our bank account or food on the table, my daughter answered her own question.

“I think I understand, Mommy,” she said. “It’s kind of like my dancing. I love dance, even if I’m not going to be a prima ballerina.”

Running

To balance my writing, I run. I am not a hard-core runner. I don’t have sleek abdominals or toned arms. I run to keep the witch inside me at bay. And, I run to let the witch out. There is an ongoing inner monologue when I run. Some days, I sort out a writing dilemma or a work problem, other times I rehash a conversation that didn’t go as planned. I think about my children and what is going on in their lives. I look at the trees or the creek that winds along my trail. Or, I stare 7-8 feet in front of me and will my legs to keep moving.

When I see other parents pushing strollers or walking with children on bikes in the woods, I often feel guilty. But, I don’t run home to coerce my children to join me. They have their own sports classes and activities. Running is my time.

On my birthday, the kids and I do a family run (at their request). When we finish, my daughter says, “I wish I had the time to run like you do.” I tell her that any time she wants to run, I would be happy to have her join me. And I mean it. I tell her that running makes me a better mom.

Reading

For my family of bookworms, bedtimes stories are the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae. Ever since they were babies, I have read aloud to my children each night. Reading is the one consistent way (in addition to speaking to them in English) that I balance their Czech school education and the Czech culture that surrounds us. It is also the one time a day when each child receives my full, focused attention.

As each child learned to read, our ritual was expanded. Now, I rotate through their rooms at bedtime, starting with the youngest. He reads a few pages in Czech, then I follow with a story in English. My older two children read on their own. On busy nights, my daughter listens to my youngest son read while I do dishes and pack school lunches. Then, I come to read to him.

Even (or rather especially) when the day has been crazy, for these few moments, I focus only on the time my child and I have carved out for one another. And the stories we share together.

 

Most days, I don’t have time to do as much writing, running, or reading as I wish. But, by following my passions a little every day, I hope my children see that their own dreams (no matter how wild or crazy they seem) are valid and real.

Do you have rituals that help you keep your life sane? I’d love to hear about them in the comments. 

 

Emily Gates Prucha teaches English and writes about raising multilingual children in the Czech Republic – the land of beer, castles, and Krtek (The Little Mole). Find her stories about Czech culture online at Half-n-Half for The Prague Daily Monitor and prague.tv. As far as Czech traditions go, she doesn’t like being whipped at Easter but having a carp swimming in her bathtub at Christmas suits her fine.

Do you have a Sanity Plan that you’d like to share? Please pitch your guest post to thesanityplan@gmail.com. 

Filed Under: Parenting, Success Stories Tagged With: balance, habits, kids, motherhood, sanity plan, writing

The Sanity Plan: 2018 Edition

January 12, 2018 By Sara M. 5 Comments

This post is a little behind the times, but with good reason. The end of 2017 was incredibly hectic for us between having a baby and my two major surgeries just before Christmas. Not to mention the typical holiday season hoopla.

Despite the year end rush to the finish line, 2017 was a fantastic year for our family. We spent 6 weeks in Florida. We welcomed Baby G in October. My husband’s business was up again and my own investments gained 35% annually. We continued to pay down debt, knocking out my Home Equity loan and one student loan, leaving $23,000 to go.

The other reason for the delay was that I frankly did not know where to start. Every time I thought about setting goals, and my overall direction, I was so overwhelmed because I want to do so much more than is realistically possible.

I am so energized to accomplish things. Despite the joys of welcoming a new baby, 2017 was really hard for me to focus. My days were consumed by my young children and the morning sickness and the general pregnancy fatigue.

Now that all of that is behind me, I am chomping at the bit. At 10 weeks postpartum, I feel great and am fully recovered from my labor and delivery. I’m 3 weeks post op from from my hernia and tubal ligation surgeries and am still recovering from those.

So I gave myself some leeway and took a couple extra weeks to clear out the cobwebs and set some new goals. Instead of high level resolutions, I decided to set some new habits I’d like to incorporate into several key areas of my life. But before I get to those, let’s take a look at how I did on my 2017 resolutions.

A 2017 Review

My two resolutions for 2017 were:

  • Transition to a career in writing (specifically to publish my children’s book)
  • Find ways to completely destress

If I had to grade myself on accomplishing my goals, I’d have to give myself a ‘B’ for 2017. Looking back, though, I see several problems with the goals themselves. The first goal was not specific, and not realistic because I had not fully vetted the whole writing career thing. For example, during the first quarter of 2017, I worked for a firm writing copy for Amazon product pages. It was a great experience because I discovered that that is not the type of writing I want to do. My second goal was even more unspecific, with no concrete ways to reduce my stress. Taking that into consideration, here’s how I did with my goals:

Writing

I did not do my specific goal of publishing my children’s book. Um, I didn’t even write my children’s book. Actually, I didn’t even lay out the full story of my children’s book. But here is what I did do:

  • I was published in several different outlets, here are some of my favorites:
    • 5 Ways to Help Your Teenager Develop Healthy Cell Phone Habits
    • 5 Things I Could Not Have Known About My First Born
    • Please Don’t Apologize For Your Tantruming Kid
  • I completed a personal essay writing course.
  • I participated in a private writing group all year, with monthly lectures and one on one guidance.
  • I spent 3 months doing copywriting for Amazon web pages.

Destressing

I could tell that I made major improvments in this area because despite having a newborn and the general holiday craziness, I was still able  to keep my zen. Here are the things I did that helped me contribute to my overall level of calm and clarity:

  • I started a journal.
  • I took time off, away from the kids, and stopped expecting myself to be everything – for this I did things like get a massage, take myself to lunch, etc. Even after Baby G was born, I packed him up and took him along.
  • I read much more which is such a wonderful escape for me (which took a lot of effort because my husband doesn’t read or really understand my love of reading) – some of the books I read were: Drop the Ball, On Writing, Unshakeable, Unbound, Bird by Bird, Imperfect Birds, The Way of Kings, Words of Radiance, The Vanishing Year, Into the Water, and The Girl on the Train. And I started a bunch more.

One thing I noticed was that I was a lot less stressed simply because I was following some of my writing aspirations. It helped me immensely to get over the doldrums of being a stay at home mom and eased some of my drive to succeed because I was working on something and not feeling like I was just floundering.

I will definitely be keeping this in mind going forward.

Goals for 2018

My goals for 2018 are much more specific than last year, much more geared towards making changes at the ground level. With these goals, I am aiming to improve my closeness with my family, get back to my pre-pregnancy weight (last 7 lbs to go), practice writing as a craft, get my debt paid down (if not off completely), and dig out of my disorganized mess!

Here are the details by specific area:

Family –

  • One on one dates – spend one on one time with each child at least once per month
  • Create Sunday breakfast tradition

Health –

  • Sign up for yoga 1 day per week
  • No dessert unless out for dinner

Aspirations –

  • Do the Artist’s Way
  • Complete 1 writing project this year (haven’t decided which one)

Finances –

  • Publish at least 2 pieces per month
  • Pay $10,000 towards student loan in addition to monthly payments

Organization – (my least favorite area but where I need so much improvement)

  • Organize digital photos
  • Clear out closet & refresh wardrobe

Final Thoughts

These goals seemed simple and kind of small to me as I wrote them down, but even small changes are hard to accomplish because my life is so busy right now. Plus, I really am not keen on overloading myself with too much this year because I want to spend the time really enjoying Baby G and the last 8 months I have with my daughter before kindergarten.

This year I turn 38, and I am loosely giving myself 2018 and 2019 to spend more time with the kiddos and figure out my next steps. Will that be writing? More schooling? Starting a business? Going back to work? Not sure yet, but I am going to continue to work through this process, keeping in mind what will be the best for my family and my sanity.

Are you working on a Sanity Plan for the New Year? What are your biggest goals for this year?

Filed Under: Updates Tagged With: destress, goals, resolutions, writing

The Sanity Plan’s 1st Birthday

August 31, 2017 By Sara M. Leave a Comment

I can’t believe it’s already been a year since I started The Sanity Plan. So much has changed for me both personally and with the blog during this time.

When I started The Sanity Plan, I was just beginning to consider a career in writing. Over the past year, I’ve continued to explore that idea, publishing articles for other outlets as well as a brief stint in copywriting. I have learned SO much about the writing industry, and have benefited from both a personal essay writing class as well as having a writing coach.

But the best part has really been the commitment of simply having a blog. Posting regularly forced me to practice my writing skills – particularly focusing on structure/tense and coherently expressing ideas. I’ve also had to read a lot more to see what type of content is out in the cyberworld and work through the process of deciding where I want to fit in.

Personally, I’ve grown in the way that I’ve learned how to manage my own website. I’ve even learned a bit about working with images in photoshop. These experiences have broadened my horizon as I think about the next step for my career or other business opportunities. On the homefront, I am expecting a new little man to be born in October, so I know most of these things will take a backseat during that time.

I have made less than $10 from the blog. I was pretty bummed about that for some time, but it has helped me to become a lot more realistic about the blogging world. It is a lot harder than it appears from the outside and requires a lot more time and commitment than I originally expected. And that’s okay. That data was important for me to get so that I can make better decisions about how I spend my time. It’s what helped me realize that I needed to not ignore my investments, which is my primary source of income while I stay at home with the kids.

I’d like to share some statistics with you.

Through the end of August, The Sanity Plan had:

98 posts

7,692 views (best day was 206)

836 comments

 

My most popular posts were:

306 Shares – My High-Risk Pregnancy Scare: Placenta Previa (this one surprised me)

229 Shares – Dear Mom, Look for Love All Around You

228 Shares – Teaching Teens How to Have Healthy Cell Phone Habits (republished by Thrive Global)

203 Shares – 8 Products for Encouraging Your Child’s Independence

148 Shares – Sanity Plan Success Stories – Embracing Your Dream Career

 

My most popular posts on other sites were:

7k Shares – Parent.Co – The Gentle Reminder We All Need: “Your Kids Are Doing Their Best”

3k Shares – Scary Mommy – I Stopped Doing All The Things For My Family, And Our World Did Not Fall Apart

2.4k Shares – The Mighty – What It Feels Like to Dissociate

1.2k Shares – The Mighty – 5 Things I Learned After My Child’s Sensory Processing Disorder Diagnosis

 

Other than the pieces that got lots of sharing love, there were others that really made my day. My book review of “Drop the Ball” was exciting because the author took the time to write me a personal note thanking me for the review. I’ve also enjoyed getting to know fellow writers through sharing personal stories and guest posts – Sara @ GetMomBalanced, Joelene @ Happiness Depends, Kate @ This Life in Progress, and many many more.

I appreciate everyone who has read my stories thus far, and I hope you’ll join me for the rest of my journey. Over the next year, I will be focused on fine-tuning my message and sharing more stories about myself and others who have made their Sanity Plans a reality.

Stay sane, my friends!

Sara M.

Filed Under: Updates Tagged With: blogging, goals, grow, learning, reflections, writing

How My Experience Writing for The Mighty Is Helping Me Heal

October 26, 2016 By Sara M. Leave a Comment

450x680-thinkingThis week, I opened the window to my heart. I shared a deeply personal essay about how I feel when I dissociate. I sent my words out into the world, not knowing how they would be received.

I had no idea where I was headed when I began writing this summer. I’ve always known there is a writer in me, I’ve always just been too practical to let her out. One foot in front of the other, marching down that practical life path. “You’ll never make any money writing,” echo my father’s words.

And yet, here I am, no longer bound by practicality, finally allowing my words to venture out. And I can’t stop. There isn’t enough time in the day to write all the things I need to share.

My body is a house for pain. It is the physical boundary of all my sadness and hurtful memories. They are lined up at the door now, anticipating their freedom.

My therapist asked me during our last session what I do to help myself feel better. How do I resolve each experience after I’ve talked about it? I didn’t really have a good answer. Most of the time, I just try to live a good life. I share or write about it and move on. When I get home, my children or my husband need me and I get pulled away from those thoughts. Back into this world, leaving that one open and raw.

But is that true healing? Have I found a proper home for that pain? Can I put it away on a shelf for now, maybe forever?

Now I think I know part of the answer. Part of my healing has come from complete strangers. It has come from you.

Because I shared with you a piece of my heart. And you didn’t shy away. It wasn’t too much to hear.

You didn’t tell me I was weird.

You didn’t tell me to get over it.

You didn’t tell me I’m broken beyond repair.

Instead, what you said was, “Me too” and “I feel that way.” And now I know that I am not alone. I never have been.

680x450-bloomAnd my words were shared more times than my humble heart could imagine. You shared them because they are your words now. You shared them because you were finally able to make someone else understand how you really feel. You shared them because they might describe and help someone that you know.

Thank you. This “Mighty” community is filled with so much love and compassion that I am overwhelmed. The editors and the readers are an amazing group of people, handling each unique condition and experience with the honor it deserves.

Here is a safe place where I can heal.

Filed Under: Personal Tagged With: community, healing, letter, The Mighty, writing

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Welcome to THE SANITY PLAN! Here you will find my attempts to restore order in my crazy life post kids. I'm just getting started & I have a lot to say. So far I've written a lot about my perspectives on parenting (sorry, it's where I am at), but I'd love it if you followed my journey to improve my habits, get more organized, redefine my career, and generally live a good life. Or, you can follow just for the entertainment, I promise there will be lots of that. Do you want to learn more about building A Sanity Plan?

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