mindset Archives - TheSanityPlan

Do You Ever Really Let Yourself Go?

June 14, 2017 By Sane Mama 8 Comments

And I don’t mean in the sense that you forego makeup and wear pajamas all day. What I mean is do you ever really just let loose, totally engross yourself in the moment, or forget about your stressors or to-do list?

I have been thinking about this a lot recently. I find that I am habitually tense. Without even realizing it, I hold my breath for extended periods of time. I sleep tucked in a protective ball and many nights I wake up sore from clenching my teeth and my fists. My mind is so cluttered that it takes constant effort to tune out my own mental soundtrack when someone else is talking to me. I mean, I try to catch the most important details, but I am often focused on what I have to do next. Most of the time I am not even aware that I am doing it.

I am constantly evaluating what I should be doing: How can I multitask to get more done? How can I effectively fit all the pieces of my life together in the most optimized way?

The problem is I am never fully relaxed. Even when I’ve chosen to take the time to do something fun, I feel the pressures weighing me down, occupying my mental space. Stealing from the moment in present time.

It’s so easy for me to get into a mode of feeling like taking a break is a waste of time. My default setting is to just assume that I am machine-like, going and going and never needing a break because there is always just one more thing to do. And somehow if I just push harder, I can get it all done.

But I am not a machine. My mind and body get worn down from the constant pressure I heap on myself. And even though I do sit down to play a game with my family or watch a movie at the end of the night, I worry that I’m not fully letting myself enjoy the moment.

This topic was on my mind before we left for our babymoon, but being on vacation definitely highlighted the difference. It was so much easier to “let myself go” when I was not in my house surrounded by the visual to-do list and I didn’t have the constant work of minding the kids. I think that my personality has a lot to do with my tendency for seriousness and tension, but adding the responsibility of caring for my young children has definitely made it worse. It’s a combination of the constancy of paying attention to the kids as well as the endless tasks associated with their upkeep.

And then at my worst moments, I wonder what is it that I am so stressed about anyways? I lived a pretty charmed life. I am a stay at home mom. We have decent finances so I don’t feel pressured to go back to work. I get help with the kids for several hours per week (hired because we don’t have a support network). Our family life is going well (we get along and the kids are pretty well behaved). So, what’s with all the stress? I keep going back to the idea that it seems to be just my default reaction to all of the tasks I have to do. Even things that are not that big of a deal in the scheme of life (nobody would die if I didn’t do them) just feel stressful.

And holding onto this great big cloud of stress at all times is preventing me from truly relaxing when I do get the opportunity. Which in turn, feeds the stress monster, making it harder for me to ever let it go.

I wonder how many other people feel the same way? Have you found that parenthood has heaped a sizable amount of stress onto you? Are you able to compartmentalize your to-do list and really let yourself go when the opportunity arises?

Just being aware of it has helped a ton. Realizing my daily stressors aren’t that big in the scheme of things. And remembering that when I’m “off-duty,” everything else can wait.

Week 2 – The Sanity Plan Goals Review

January 16, 2017 By Sane Mama 14 Comments

Welcome to the weekly goals review. This is where I will complete a review of my prior week’s goals as well as setting a new round for the upcoming week. I’m glad to have you on board. Are you working on your Sanity Plan?

Weekly Goals Review

Positive parenting: Allow for extra time and patience for the kids due to transitions.

I actually did pretty well with this. It was definitely harder at the end of the week, though, after a long week of cleaning up from the party, packing for our trip, and solo parenting. Lesson learned: Having this as a concrete goal really helped me to remain conscious of how I wanted to treat the kids as well as keeping in mind what they might be experiencing.
2. Quality hubby time: Take time to have a deeper conversation.

We had a unusual opportunity after the party to sit down and talk about life together with no kids and no interruptions. He shared with me that he’s been feeling overwhelmed and distracted and I felt closer to him as we talked it through. Lesson learned: Every time we talk this way, I am reminded of why I fell in love with my husband in the first place – it’s such an important goal for me to continue to bond with him in this way.

3. Personal care: Get back on board with taking my morning medication.

Done. Lesson learned: This was strictly a mindset change. I’d been giving myself too many excuses to skip it and now I am back to the idea that it is critical and it comes first, even before getting up to get my son.

4. Organization: Pack early.

I would have been done… except for the fact that my husband bumped up his departure time by a day.

5. Work/Life Balance: Begin new copywriting gig.

Done. This one was a little precarious because our sitter called out. But, I worked it out with my husband that he would take the kids after dinner so I could have devoted time to work. I could have tried to do it during the day while juggling the kids, but I am learning that I really need focused and uninterrupted time, especially when learning something new. Lesson learned: When it comes to balance, it is important to evaluate your needs and find a way to meet them, even if that means asking for help.

This Week’s Goals

Here are my goals for this week based on my 5 improvement areas:

Positive parenting: Spend this week working on my daughter’s demanding behavior.

Our four year old daughter’s “demanding” behavior has been escalating this past week. It could be related to the transitions I discussed above, but I’d like to spend some time working with her on it. I will observe the behavior and see if I can determine some causal factors, and then develop a couple of key strategies to handle it. I’ll likely write a post on this coming soon.

2. Quality hubby time: Put the kids to bed and enjoy a night cap on the back deck.

Now that we’ve settled into our rental, I’ll coordinate an evening where we put the littles down on time and get the teen to do something solo so we can enjoy some husband and wife time. One of the things that’s hard about having older children who stay up later is that they are often up until you go to bed. I’ve found I actually need to create strategies to work around this to still have quality time with my husband.

3. Personal care: Drink an extra glass of water in the afternoon.

Another habit I’d like to improve on is drinking more water. I don’t like to drink liquids with my meals, so I’ve been needing to find another time that I can drink a full glass of water on a somewhat empty stomach. It was really helpful for me to use a cell phone reminder when I did the doorway stretches, so I’m going to set a reminder for 3 p.m. every day to drink water.

4. Organization: Put things where they belong.

I have a confession to make: I never put anything where it belongs. I often wander about putting things down in all sorts of places. I mean, I barely even remember to close cabinet or pantry doors when I’m done using them. Since we are in a rental, with a whole lot less “stuff,” I think it will be good to begin to implement some better organizational habits. This week, I will focus on creating homes for “things,” and putting everything where it belongs. This one’s really hard for me, wish me luck!

5. Work/Life Balance: Plan my new writing schedule.

Our situation has changed quite a bit. We are in a temporary location where I do not have help with the kids. I am willing to relax my writing goals somewhat, but I want to establish some routines so that I can have undivided work time with set goals of what I want to accomplish. Since my husband has to work during the day, I will likely be taking a couple of evenings per week to write, in addition to nap times, but I want to test and establish the schedule this week.

Overall Thoughts

I had a really hard time coming up with ways to reconnect with my husband, which tells me that it has really not been on my mind. I am very involved with the kids and my writing, but my relationship with my husband is so important as well (I mean, we did commit to an entire lifetime together!). I am glad I have this as a goal, because it really has fallen by the wayside with the kids, despite our best intention that we weren’t going to let it. This week is still pretty transitional, as we get used to our vacation home, so I want to keep it easy while we all acclimate.

How are you doing with your Sanity Plan? What are your goals for the coming week? Did you notice any particular barriers to completing what you wanted to get done?

The Sanity Plan Principles Part 4– Forge Close Relationships

December 9, 2016 By Sane Mama 2 Comments

Welcome to part four of The Sanity Plan Principles series. The fourth principle is:

Why do we need to “Forge Close Relationships?”

I bet you could instantly think of several reasons why you need close relationships. Relationships are a key component of our humanity. We live and thrive in an interconnected world.

But just knowing a ton of people is not enough. When you take a relationship deeper than just a casual acquaintance you can get so much more out of it.

Close relationships offer a sense of community. We become aware of the fact that we are not alone in this journey. We become tuned in to the needs of others outside of our immediate circles.

When you work to develop these relational bonds, you have someone to fall back on when you really need it the most. I’ve noticed that people are more likely to help one another when a connection has been established.

How do we “Forge Close Relationships?”

Note my use of the action word “forge.” I carefully chose this word because I want to emphasize the fact that it is our job to take action to create deeper relationships. They do not always happen naturally or without effort.

There are lots of ways to strengthen your relationships.

You can do this by sharing more intimately with the person. Instead of talking about a subject at the surface, dig a little deeper, express how you think or feel about the subject.

You can do this by sharing how you feel about the person directly. Do you tell them that you love them? Are you physically affectionate? And I am not just speaking about romantic relationships, although this applies in that case as well.

Can you deepen the relationship by helping the other person? An offer to help with your time or expertise can be a great relationship builder. This can be especially when it comes to business networking.

Beware of the Social Media Trap

It is really easy to fall into the trap of corresponding with family, friends, and work acquaintances primarily via social media. Even the use of digital communications such as text or email can be a barrier to closeness and understanding.

Have you ever gotten a message from someone that just came out wrong? No matter how you looked at it or tried to consider their point of view, it just came across as rude or distant.

This is because digital communications are missing some of the fundamental aspects of human interaction: facial expressions, body language, affect, tone, etc.

My experience

I know that I need close relationships in my life. When I begin to keep too many of my thoughts and emotions to myself, I default to feeling very alone.

I am extremely fortunate to have found a husband who I can share intimately with. This relationship is the backbone of my life. I also use emotional language with my children, parents, and siblings.

Outside of family, I’ve had a lot harder of a time developing friendships. I moved a lot throughout my life and haven’t had particularly longstanding friendships due to that. I like to have only a few really good friends at a time because I put a lot of energy into my relationships.

With my existing friends, I try to call them regularly (see social media above) and I like to get together with them as much as we can. I also know that I prefer to meet one on one with a friend, or even as two couples. Any more than that tends to overwhelm me.

I’ve made a bunch of new friends recently. I picked a couple of local women in a similar life stage to mine (with young kids) and really worked to get close with them. I am persistent in making plans to do play dates, balancing between being the host and the hosted (I like to be as fair as possible in sharing the burden). And when we do get together, I am honest and real, which often solicits a similar level of sharing in return. And as a result, I’ve been feeling a lot more connected to other people in my life.

Do you feel close to your family and friends right now? Are there any relationships that you would like to improve?

Next principle: Be Solution Oriented

How Will You Remember Their Childhood?

November 1, 2016 By Sane Mama 27 Comments

“I just don’t want to look back on this time as the Dark Ages,” I tell my good friend’s wife. A large group of my college classmates and our kids were visiting a traveling farm last fall.

She sighed, “You probably will.”

This was the hardest thing for me to hear. My son was 8 months old at the time, and my daughter was 2 ¾. I was flying solo for that trip because my husband was away for business. I was a mess. Overwhelmed and exhausted, barely speaking coherent sentences. Trying to manage a willful toddler and a cranky baby.

Out with my classmates, I could barely even remember us all doing our MBAs. Only 6 years had passed but it felt like an eternity. Motherhood had changed everything.

As my son now approaches 2, and my daughter 4, things are so much better. She has improved both socially and emotionally, and she is much more willing to follow instructions and get along. My son is finally crying less, and trying to communicate his needs with words. We’ve settled into a workable routine.

But those words are still echoing through my mind. In 5 years or 10 years, am I still going to be plagued by the difficulty of these early years with my son? Am I going to feel like it was the worst time of my life? Am I going to carry the weight of this deep guilt for falling apart at such a precious time?

I think I easily could. But I don’t want to. I don’t want the film of negativity to color what I remember about my babies’ youngest years. Yes, I will probably always know that it was hard for both my husband and I, an early babyhood gauntlet.

But there has been so much more that I have to work to bring to mind.

I am reminded when I go through pictures of all the fun times we’ve had together. Going to the zoo and feeding the giraffes. Going to the beach and building sand castles. My husband and I taking them to swim classes together.

Or painting with water colors outside when it was warm.

Or running around in the rain and jumping in puddles.

Or the times I bundled them up to go play outside in the snow, and they had so much fun that they barely felt the cold.

What about reading to them every single night? And how I slowed down to read at their pace, patiently answered questions, and engaged in endless side stories.

What about all of the conversations we’ve had? About silly things and serious things and everything in between. And poop, lots of poop.

What about the times I chased them around the kitchen island until we were all dizzy and they were squealing with delight? I can still hear their infectious laughter.

What about the late night and early morning snuggles? When I found their perfect tickle spots or blew raspberries on their sweet, soft bellies.

And the nursing? I am fond of the time I spent nursing my babies. Dutifully waking through the night to feed them, or before the dawn when they began to sleep longer.

So no, I will not call it the Dark Ages. That is not the right way to remember this season. I will not add stack upon stack of guilt to weigh down the beauty of my babies’ childhood. Yes, it was hard. Yes, I have cried out of frustration and exhaustion.

But I’ve been a mom, a good mom. With a big heart, and lots of love. For every correction, there has been double the amount of warmth and praise. For every difficult time, there were double the experiences of exploration and wonder.

I will remind myself of the goodness, the sweetness, and the simplest joys. The times where my true self shone through. I will let the sleepless nights and the tantrums slip away. I will engrave the good memories onto my heart to remember for always.

How will you look back on this period of motherhood? What will you choose?

Setting Up My Exercise Routine

October 27, 2016 By Sane Mama 9 Comments

I haven’t gotten to the goal setting part of the Sanity Plan, but I just wanted to write a quick note about one of my goals. If you’ve been reading, you may have heard me say how much I hate exercise. In fact, I often refer to exercise as an allergy of mine (along with cleaning).

But recently, it has come to a point where I simply have to address my sedentary nature. For my health, both physical and mental.

Ever since my son was born almost two years ago, I have been in significant back pain. I had a strange stabbing pain in my hip for the better part of a year from misalignment. And my upper neck and shoulders are rock hard from stress, on top of a long term injury.

I’ve done all the passive treatments I can do including chiropractic and massage, both with a therapeutic bent. This works for a short period, a couple weeks at best, before the symptoms recur.

The truth is that I am not doing any of the work needed to physical maintain any of the repairs they make.

As for my sanity, I am being constantly reminded by my reading or my therapist about the benefits of physical activity. How good it is for your brain. How good it is for being present. How good it is for balancing your hormones. Add those benefits to the fact that if regular exercise keeps me out of physical pain, it will be a winning combination.

I am not getting any younger, and I am finally ready to make a commitment to exercise. This was partially prompted by my brilliant therapist who suggested that I not enroll in a coveted writing class until I had accomplished this.

So, I’ve laid some groundwork. I have chosen two low impact activities based on what I’ve described above: yoga and swimming. I’ve decided to take classes because, knowing myself, I will be much more likely to stay committed if there is accountability.

I picked out a yoga studio very close by, reviewed the schedule, and spoke with a manager about my skill level and potential classes to take. As for swimming, my timing couldn’t be better as registration is open this week for a series that begins next week.

So there it is, my goal is out there in the world. I am going to exercise two times per week. Monday mornings for swim, and Tuesday nights for yoga.

Now I can go sign up for that writing class.

Do you incorporate exercise into your Sanity Plan? What is the biggest benefit you see?

Efficiency, My Captor

October 26, 2016 By Sane Mama 4 Comments

My days are ruled by a terrible master. Slave driving and tireless, it never ends and never lessens.

I am not sure where it comes from. Is it left over from being a career woman? Did 15 years in the corporate work force influence me to reevaluate my entire life through the schema of productivity? When did it become so pervasive that it spilled over into my home life?

I see it in our society. I see is all around me. Every other article headline tells how we can be more efficient. How we can push harder. How we can get more done.

This drive conflicts with the biggest thing I’m doing right now.

Raising my kids.

Child rearing and efficiency are like oil and water. They don’t mix, and even if you can get them somewhat combined (shake, shake, shake!), it’s only a matter of time before they are polarized again.

The drive for efficiency leaves me with this aching feeling of never getting enough done. That I should always be multitasking. That any time spent waiting in line or even sitting with my children should also be combined with checking emails and mental preparation of what needs to be done next.

I make endless lists in multiple notebooks, on my phone, or in my mind. I feel compartmentalized to the point of having a fragmented mind at any given time during the day. I struggle to give my 100% attention to any single thing in a single moment.

I am constantly striving to be better at managing it all. But I am never really enjoying anything.

I am barely here.

How can I organize my life so that I can always have the laundry in at just the right time for me to do a certain task before moving it to the dryer? And then another task to fill the space until the drying is done? But I can’t forget it is in there… Can’t forget anything.

How can I fit in playing with and educating the children, while managing the household, planning meals, and cooking? Or working? Will I ever be able to manage going back to a full time career?

The children ask if can I play with them, and more and more I respond with “I have to do this. I have to do that.” So rarely anymore do I feel free enough to prompt play, or join in with them while they play on their own. How must they feel watching their mom consumed by a whirlwind of never-ending tasks?

Why are they not more important to me?

Why can’t I just sit and enjoy? Be present. Ignore the feelings that I should be getting something done. This is doing something. This is doing exactly what I’ve always wanted to do. Have children. Love them. Play with them. Teach them and share their joys.

I love my children. Why is that not enough to calm the itch of productivity? To ease the drive for efficiency. To erase the beckoning of my to do list.

Why do I long for them to sleep so that I can get to work? Are they really so hard to handle? Are they the placeholder in my mind between real times of work and productivity?

Why am I so unsettled by the aimless meandering that is their childhood rhythm?

Time does not hold a child captive. I can remember my four-year-old referring to every meal as dinner. I always corrected her, but it never mattered to her. Dinner was just when she ate.

No amount of urgency moves a child. Because seeing that toy you want to play with is way more fascinating than getting dressed. And you really have no concept that someone may be upset with you for being late – because you don’t even really understand what time is.

But mom does. That clock is ticking. The sound of every second can be deafening under the burden of feeling like nothing gets done. The burden that could potentially be eased if only I could be more efficient during those precious moments of free time and good energy. If I just pushed harder.

And now I must stop. I’m glad that you understand. I thought I was the only one.

I can breathe now.

I think I’ll go see what the kids are up to.

The hell with efficiency.

THE SANITY PLAN PRINCIPLES PART 2– Discover Yourself

October 24, 2016 By Sane Mama Leave a Comment

Welcome to the part two of The Sanity Plan Principles series. The second principle is:

What is “Discovering Yourself?”

When you turn your attention inward to study your own thoughts, feelings, motivations, and preferences, you are “discovering yourself.”

Figuring out who we are is a lifelong journey. Partly because the introspection and self-knowledge takes time, and partly because we change so much throughout the course of our lives.

How do you “Discover yourself?”

This brings us back to the first principle, Being Present. In order to learn more about ourselves, we must be willing to slow down and listen.
Listen to and acknowledge our own thoughts and feelings.

Ask yourself questions. Did you notice a particular reaction you had? Ask yourself, “Why did I react that way?”

Pay attention to your habits and preferences. Do you like to do things in a particular order? Why is that?

Do you prefer to do certain things at certain times of day? Why is that?

How does “Discovering Ourselves” help us?

Self-knowledge is a powerful tool. Armed with an understanding of yourself, you can make better decisions that more closely align with your needs.

Knowing who you are helps you communicate more clearly in existing relationships. It is also important when developing new relationships in terms of the people you choose and the way you engage them.

Understanding your unique preferences helps you organize your day and your life in a way that best suits you – whether it is the type of work you do, when and how you complete certain tasks, how you orchestrate family/social time, etc.

My experience

As my mother often reminds me, I am on a journey of “self-discovery.” I tend to have a natural tendency towards this as I am very introspective. I am fascinated to learn about my inner workings, and I also enjoy learning about what makes other people tick. It was part of my drive in pursuing a BA in Psychology.

The more I know about myself, the better equipped I am to handle whatever life throws my way. I have identified certain buttons I struggle with, which makes it easier to realize when I am falling back on an old habit or way of thinking. The ability to recognize a self-characteristic is the first step in being able to use tactics to change it or find a creative solution around it.

Not all characteristics are “bad” per se. I have recently discovered that I am a highly sensitive person. While I love to feel and experience, sometimes it can be overwhelming to others. Because I am aware of this in myself and its effect on others, I can control how much of that sensitivity I reveal.

Or, I am very aware of the fact that I do my best work in the morning when I am fresh and my mind is clear. So, I orchestrate my day in a way that I can dedicate that highly focused time to work or creativity.

What methods do you use in order to learn more about yourself? How does it help you to restore Sanity in your life?

Next principle: Build Your Network

TheSanityPlan is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. All products recommended are used personally by us and opinions about them are our own.

The Sanity Plan – 10 Principles to Live By

October 4, 2016 By Sane Mama 13 Comments

One of the best ways to stay focused on improving your life is to define a set of principles to live by. These principles then become the default for when you are not sure on a decision or path to take.

Here are the principles we use to guide us along our Sanity Plan (not sure what a Sanity Plan is? Click here). Each highlighted principle has a linked post explaining it in further detail.

Be present – This above all else. Presence of mind is the key to all the remaining principles; without awareness, one is perpetually stuck in a reactive state of being.
Discover yourself – Be on a “journey of self-discovery.” Self-knowledge will aid in making better decisions based on your unique needs.
Build your network – We cannot do this alone. If you don’t have a built in support network of family and friends, build your own.
Forge close relationships – Worthwhile relationships are as important as food and water. Get past the surface and give more of yourself.
Be solution oriented – Become aware of the problems you face, and take steps to find a better way to tackle each one. Implement on the spot, if possible.
Control your inputs – We are a living in a sea of information and stimulation. Be conscious of creating a filter based on your values.
Create systems – Recurring tasks should be automated to reduce workload.
Reduce obligations/Simplify – Obligations eat away at the balance you are trying to create in your life. Accommodate them sparingly.
Honor your body – Your body is going to carry you through this life. Nourish it with real food, good sleep, and exercise.
Give back – Complete the cycle. As you receive the fruits of your journey, share them with someone else who needs a hand.

I will be covering each of these principles in a separate post, and use them as recurring themes as well. Be sure to follow to join in the conversation!

Would you add anything to this list? What principles do you live by that help keep your life sane?

Amazing Perspectives on Womanhood I Learned from My Husband

September 27, 2016 By Sane Mama 5 Comments

Some of the most beautiful ideas about my womanhood came from an unexpected source: my husband.

Mr. Sanity didn’t have the best life teachers, but for some reason he came up with some incredible ways to look at life all on his own. He’s just “made of the right stuff.” And I’m the lucky girl he chose to share those perspectives with every day.

Now I’ve put my favorite ones together to share with you:

My perspective: Periods are GROSS

His perspective: Your body is doing what it is supposed to do. He will actually get into the whole process of how I’m shedding the lining that would have supported a new life but wasn’t needed this time around. He reminds me of the core purpose of the process, that it is a beautiful thing that only a woman’s body can do.

My perspective: PMS turns me into a crazy person

His perspective: He doesn’t particularly enjoy my increased emotionality and irrationality just before I get my period. However, he has given me the biggest pass of all. What he pointed out was that just because the emotions were heightened in my premenstrual state, doesn’t mean that the underlying issue that was bothering me wasn’t real. And hey, men have fluctuations in moods and emotions as well, the cycles are just shorter (daily).

My perspective: I have WAY too much hair on my body

His perspective: Some hair is sexy. Wait, what? He actually finds the super light peach fuzz on my cheeks/jawline/cleavage/butt to be incredibly sexy. I never would have considered this, and have spent many years like most women, fretting about and removing unwanted hair.

My perspective: My body is too squishy; my thighs are too big

His perspective: (caution: he’s biased) I am the most beautiful woman alive. He thinks my curves are my best feature and women with less meat on their bones look too thin to him. He also helps me put my own body image issues into perspective. I will often point out to him that I’m so much larger than so-and-so and he helps me see reality.

My perspective: I have to get made up to be beautiful

His perspective: I look sexy in anything, including sweatpants. (Although I have yet to test just how far down into disheveled I can go before it’s too far!) I am his wife and he sees my beauty regardless of what I wear. I tend to feel a bit frumpy because I so often don’t wear makeup and other women put a bit more effort into being put together.

He always reminds me that I don’t need makeup to be beautiful.

My perspective: Thongs are sexy (less is more)

His perspective: He actually prefers full coverage underwear. No, not granny panties, but just normal full bottomed undies. He actually finds them sexier, in addition to the fact that he thinks thongs look uncomfortable to wear all wedged up there.

My perspective: My body could use a few upgrades

His perspective: Women look best with their original equipment. He always points out how natural hair color is the best complement to natural skin color. He insists that breast size never mattered to him, and that most men he’s known feel the same way. (So much for that post breast feeding lift I’ve been considering.)

Sorry ladies, you can’t have him. But I hope his perspectives have given you a boost – because you are all wonderful, just the way you are.

Our Teen’s Friends Labeled Us “The Healthy House”

September 19, 2016 By Sane Mama Leave a Comment

It’s true, we eat healthy. But I never really understood how other people see us until I had a house full of bubbly girls over for our teen’s 13^th birthday party. As they gathered around the center island munching chips and salsa and veggies and dip, I heard the commentary about how we’d been designated as “The Healthy House.” It wasn’t particularly snarky, just a statement of fact with a slight bit of teasing for good measure. But there were a lot of raised eyebrows when I pulled out the Cheetos and cookies. It was a birthday party…

Healthy Habits

Honestly, I have never really considered how other people see our eating habits. We have been on a mission for the past decade to improve our eating. We try to be more conscious about what we consume. It started with eliminating fast food chains. I will make an exception for Panera, but recently I’ve been pulling back on that because of the high calorie meals and sweet temptations. We do eat a decent local pizza about once per week. What teen (or adult) could live without pizza every now and then?

I try not to buy too many snack foods either. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE Fritos, Cheezits, Cheetos, Mac’N’Cheese, Captain Crunch, Lucky Charms, etc. But if I buy anything of this nature, every single person in the house will rummage past all the fresh fruit and vegetables and eat that first (including me!).

What do we eat instead? Grilled meats, steamed veggies, fresh fruits, whole grain breads and bars, low sugar cereal, nuts, full fat milk and yogurt, etc. Plenty of butter and unprocessed salt. And dark chocolate. I always sprinkle in a little junk here and there so we don’t feel too deprived. You can read more of our food rules here.

How Other People See Us

It never occurred to me that my teen would be identified as a healthy eater. What she packs for lunch is normal to us, but apparently her classmates find it odd. She brings PBJ’s on whole wheat bread with water, sliced cucumbers or carrots, and no sugar applesauce. Or, she’ll make herself a salad.

When I talked to her about it, she laughed. She listed off the things her friends bring to school: several packages of Tastykakes, sandwiches on white bread, and sugary fruit drinks to name a few. And yes, I was shocked. Horrified actually! How can these girls study and concentrate if they don’t have real food to feed their brains?

But I am very aware of making sure my daughter is not singled out for our crazy habits. It’s hard enough being at a new school with new friends in a new area without being labeled as different, or worse, weird. I remember what that was like as my parents had plenty of different ideas about life.

So, I offered to buy her some junk food.

Was she feeling deprived?

Does it bother her that we eat so healthily?

To my surprise, it didn’t bother her at all. She likes the way we eat and doesn’t mind being different. After all, to a teen girl, being “The Healthy House” isn’t the worst label we could have. For now, that is.

Do You Ever Really Let Yourself Go?

Week 2 – The Sanity Plan Goals Review

Weekly Goals Review

This Week’s Goals

Overall Thoughts

The Sanity Plan Principles Part 4– Forge Close Relationships

How Will You Remember Their Childhood?

Setting Up My Exercise Routine

Efficiency, My Captor

THE SANITY PLAN PRINCIPLES PART 2– Discover Yourself

The Sanity Plan – 10 Principles to Live By

Amazing Perspectives on Womanhood I Learned from My Husband

Our Teen’s Friends Labeled Us “The Healthy House”

Healthy Habits

How Other People See Us

Categories

Follow the Sanity on Instagram

Weekly Goals Review

This Week’s Goals

Overall Thoughts

Healthy Habits

How Other People See Us

Categories

Tags

Follow the Sanity on Instagram