TheSanityPlan

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Why A ‘Reset Button’ Is a Vital Part of Any Sanity Plan

July 5, 2018 By Sara M. Leave a Comment

So, what is a ‘reset button?’

Think of the reset button on your phone or computer. What does it do?

It stops all processes (usually required as a result of malfunction) and returns the device to it’s original functioning state.

It’s a reboot, a fresh start.

Can you think of how useful that could be if applied to your everyday life? Having a bad day? Reboot it. Fell off your diet wagon? Start over.

Why do you need a ‘reset button?’

Because life.

Because of those times when everything seems to be going wrong and it is steadily getting worse.

Because of ruts, bad starts, and what can go wrong will go wrong.

Sometimes simply knowing that we need to shift directions and trying to force ourselves to behave can actually make the situation worse, or continue the same downward spiral.

When do you need a reset?

This is totally personal. Here are some of the times when a reboot is essential for me:

When I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, a.k.a. cranky, and I’m having a difficult time getting out of my funk.

When I’m overly frustrated with a project, or with everything.

When I’m feeling so overwhelmed, I don’t know where to start.

Right after an argument with my spouse or one of the kids. (Hello emotional hangover)

When I feel like I’m falling short, running late and behind on everything.

When I’m groggy or my head is just not clear.

When it seems that I’m heading in the wrong direction with my day, nothing seems to work, or I’m floundering.

When I’m angry and all I want to do is yell, yell, yell.

When the kids are getting on my nerves over every little thing, and I don’t feel like being nice.

When I’m repeatedly making the wrong decisions whether it’s checking Facebook instead of working or eating sugary foods instead of sticking to my commitment to eat healthy.

 

How can you reset?

I have some definite go-to’s for this. Since I don’t have a magical ‘easy’ button, I have come to rely on these strategies for resetting my day:

Take a shower (um, yes, even if this means taking a second shower) – taking a shower is so relaxing for me. I have time to think. I come out fresh and clean and recharged, ready to tackle whatever was stopping me before. It is also great for idea generation and clarity.

Take a drive – similar to the above. My mind gets clearer when I go out for a drive. My ideas become a lot more organized when my mind is simultaneously focused on the task/rhythm of driving.

Take a walk/yoga/exercise – This is especially helpful if you can go outside. Get moving. Go outside. The light and movement activates your senses, allowing you to get past sticking points.

Run an errand – This ones a twofer – it combines taking a drive with getting something done. When I can’t focus well at home, just changing my environment and accomplishing something I’ve needed to do really helps me make a clean break.

Finish one small task – This is especially helpful when I’m floundering and don’t know where to start. Is there one itsy bitsy tiny thing I can do in 10 minutes or less? Just to get the ball rolling, just to get the sense of accomplishment. It totally works.

Switch tasks (gears) – one of the best things about staying home with the kids or working from home is the flexibility in prioritizing tasks. If I just can’t work, and I’m sitting here banging my head on a figurative wall, I have the flexibility to get up and clean something, fold laundry (usually something physical because my roadblocks are typically of the mental kind). Which has the added benefit of getting some nagging chore off my to do list.

Take a nap – this depends on how much time you have and how tired you are. If I’m really tired and that is the reason for my crankiness or lack of patience, then a good hour long nap is perfect. If I’m just looking for a reboot due to brain fog or an emotional hangover (see arguments above), then a 20 or 30 minute power nap is fantastic. That release into sleep usually clears out the negative stuff and allows almost a perfect restart.

Read a book – Books with short chapters are great for this. I can read one or two chapters, engross myself in someone else’s words and ideas, therefore detaching myself from my stuck ones.

Can you start to see what kinds of tasks are good for a reset? Anything that you can do that helps you break from your current mode. Think fresh, refresh, clean, shake things up, move, take a break, start over, begin again.

 

Final Thoughts

Employing a strategy to catch yourself heading off track and get things turned around is so helpful. It prevents you from wasting time in a bad mood or floundering and being ineffective.

And the bonus for parents?

A) Your children see you model this kind of behavior.

B) You can help your children reset when they get stuck. Seeing this in yourself helps you see it in your children, who do this quite often as part of their growing emotional control capabilities.

 

I’m embarrassed to say I need to do this quite often, at least several times a week. I’ve even had to do it multiple times in the same day. But you know what, that’s my rhythm, and the more I accept myself, the easier it is to employ solutions.

 

Do you employ any of these strategies? I’d love to hear what activities work best as a ‘reset button’ in your life.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Parenting, Wellbeing Tagged With: habits, mindset, productivity

One Mental Trick that Helps Me Make Hard Decisions

July 17, 2017 By Sara M. 7 Comments

strategyAs long as I can remember, I have had a difficult time making decisions. I go back and forth, weigh the pros and cons, and sometimes even spend exhaustive amounts of time discussing my thought process with loved ones. My husband, who can make decisions in a split second, is easily irritated by my incessant rumination.

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out why I am this way and I think it comes down to part personality and part upbringing. Growing up, my father placed a high emphasis on thinking before you act and making the right decisions. When I messed up, I heard about it. As for my personality, being Type-A and a subsequent perfectionist, I worry very much about making the wrong choices. As a result, I tend to awfulize whatever negative impact I imagine will result from my decisions.

These factors create the perfect pressure cooker scenario where my anxiety runs so high that I try to think even harder to prevent something bad from happening. The kicker is, there are lots of decisions to make in life, and even the smaller ones will bog me down if I get stuck in this cyclical thinking.

Luckily, I’ve learned a few tricks in my 30 plus years and this one has been especially helpful in easing the pressure I feel when I comes to decision making.

I remember this one thing:

Very few decisions in life are permanent.

There, think about that for a moment.

It’s actually very simple.

 

What can you do in this life that cannot be undone? I can only think of a handful –

Having children, committing crimes, committing suicide…

But what can you “undo?” Almost everything.

Choose a major in college you no longer like? Change it.

Hate your job? Get a different one.

Regret deciding to stay home with the kids? Go back to work.

Even a marriage to the wrong person can be dissolved (not that I advocate taking marriage lightly).

I could go on.

 

When my sister was really stressed about making the very hard decision of whether to move across the country or not, I asked her to consider what would happen if she hated the place she chose. She realized that all she would have to do was move back. That’s not to say that it would be easy, there’s a ton of work and expense involved with relocating. But she could. Moving does not have to be permanent. And she did end up making that move.

Just knowing that I can unwind almost any decision makes it so much easier for me to drop all the back and forth and do it already. Sure, there are opportunity costs and potentially costs to change direction, but I know it can be done. Of course, I don’t recommend going to the other extreme, making rash decisions simply because you can always correct them later. I imagine this would lead to a very messy life.

But for me, knowing that I can always change my mind gives me the freedom to set my anxiety aside and move forward.

What about you? Do you get bogged down in trying to make the “perfect” decision? How do you get yourself unstuck?

Filed Under: Self Improvement, Wellbeing Tagged With: anxiety, decisions, mental health, mindset

How Does Money Fit into Your Sanity Plan?

July 11, 2017 By Sara M. 8 Comments

financesWhen I started this blog, I decided that I wasn’t going to talk that much about money. Not because I thought it wasn’t important, but because I just assumed it was such a popular topic that it had all been covered before. What could I possibly add to the conversation? Now that I’ve been writing for almost a year and considering my Sanity Plan, I realized that it is too important to neglect.

I’ve been a personal finance nerd since my early 20’s. I grew up in an incredibly money conscious household, which can be both positive and negative. On the plus side, I have a baseline education and understanding of all types of savings strategies and money mentalities. And on the negative side, I see most things as a financial transaction (which can be stressful and a burden).

So, back to my original question. How does money fit into a Sanity Plan?

The key here is determining what your financial goals are. You can meditate on the topic. You can follow other people on their financial journeys to see what goals and ideas resonate with you (here is someone I’ve followed for years). But ultimately it comes down to determining what you really want from life and then decide how managing your finances will help you to achieve that.

Standard of Living

For my family, money represents a certain standard of living that is important to us. Our lives are pretty hectic, so it is extremely important to us to have enough money to take vacations and relax. My husband and I also enjoy going out to nice dinners on date nights.

Having a nice home with enough space for our growing family is important to us. We were able to afford our home because we bought it way under value as a short sale in 2011.

dinnerWe also place a high importance on eating high quality foods. Not necessarily all organic, but high quality fresh meats and produce can really increase a grocery budget.

In order to maintain these standards, there are many other things that we are willing to forego. And we still have to keep an eye on these expenditures to make sure that we are meeting our future savings goals.

Financial Freedom

financial freedom

Our other major financial goal is financial freedom. And I certainly realize that financial freedom is defined differently for everyone. So, here is what it means to us:

Financial freedom is the ability to do what we want without having to worry about the cost.

I want to be able to buy an outfit without having to worry about spending the money (this is a particular trouble spot for me). I want to pay off our home and other major debts, so that I don’t have to have a large monthly payment over my head. I want to have a significant amount of savings not earmarked for retirement to be used for things like starting another business or taking time off from work in order to simplify our lives. I want to be able to follow my passions without having to worry about whether they will bring in enough income.

My husband believes that he will want to work in some capacity well into old age, although not necessarily in a full-time capacity. For him, this is partially a trade-off for the fact that he wants to splurge a little along the way. I personally look forward to slowing down in my 60’s, enjoying time to pursue hobbies that don’t require making an income, and spending time with my family (and maybe grandkids!).

How Do We Get There?

Once your goals are defined, the next step is to incorporate strategies to reach them. I would break it down into a couple of different focus areas:

Income – Consider the sources of your income. Can you increase your income? Can you generate passive income?

Savings – Set up and automate regular savings goals that align with your life goals.

Mindset – Become aware of your spending habits. Develop a mentality that focuses your mind on financial trade-offs in the moment.

In my opinion, the last one is the most important. As I mentioned before, I had a jump start on this because of the family I came from. For those of you that didn’t grow up in a family like mine, it will take work to develop a money conscious mindset. But it is one of the best ways to influence your financial health and reach your goals.

 

I will be doing a series of financial pieces relate to this topic in the future and will link to them below as they are published. Feel free to reach out if there is a particular topic that is of interest to you.

 

What are your savings goals? How do you see them fitting into your Sanity Plan?

Filed Under: Finances Tagged With: financial freedom, mindset, money, saving money

Do You Ever Really Let Yourself Go?

June 14, 2017 By Sara M. 10 Comments

And I don’t mean in the sense that you forego makeup and wear pajamas all day. What I mean is do you ever really just let loose, totally engross yourself in the moment, or forget about your stressors or to-do list?

I have been thinking about this a lot recently. I find that I am habitually tense. Without even realizing it, I hold my breath for extended periods of time. I sleep tucked in a protective ball and many nights I wake up sore from clenching my teeth and my fists. My mind is so cluttered that it takes constant effort to tune out my own mental soundtrack when someone else is talking to me. I mean, I try to catch the most important details, but I am often focused on what I have to do next.  Most of the time I am not even aware that I am doing it.

I am constantly evaluating what I should be doing: How can I multitask to get more done? How can I effectively fit all the pieces of my life together in the most optimized way?

The problem is I am never fully relaxed. Even when I’ve chosen to take the time to do something fun, I feel the pressures weighing me down, occupying my mental space. Stealing from the moment in present time.

It’s so easy for me to get into a mode of feeling like taking a break is a waste of time. My default setting is to just assume that I am machine-like, going and going and never needing a break because there is always just one more thing to do. And somehow if I just push harder, I can get it all done.

But I am not a machine. My mind and body get worn down from the constant pressure I heap on myself. And even though I do sit down to play a game with my family or watch a movie at the end of the night, I worry that I’m not fully letting myself enjoy the moment.

This topic was on my mind before we left for our babymoon, but being on vacation definitely highlighted the difference. It was so much easier to “let myself go” when I was not in my house surrounded by the visual to-do list and I didn’t have the constant work of minding the kids. I think that my personality has a lot to do with my tendency for seriousness and tension, but adding the responsibility of caring for my young children has definitely made it worse. It’s a combination of the constancy of paying attention to the kids as well as the endless tasks associated with their upkeep.

And then at my worst moments, I wonder what is it that I am so stressed about anyways? I lived a pretty charmed life. I am a stay at home mom. We have decent finances so I don’t feel pressured to go back to work. I get help with the kids for several hours per week (hired because we don’t have a support network). Our family life is going well (we get along and the kids are pretty well behaved). So, what’s with all the stress? I keep going back to the idea that it seems to be just my default reaction to all of the tasks I have to do. Even things that are not that big of a deal in the scheme of life (nobody would die if I didn’t do them) just feel stressful.

And holding onto this great big cloud of stress at all times is preventing me from truly relaxing when I do get the opportunity. Which in turn, feeds the stress monster, making it harder for me to ever let it go.

I wonder how many other people feel the same way? Have you found that parenthood has heaped a sizable amount of stress onto you? Are you able to compartmentalize your to-do list and really let yourself go when the opportunity arises?

Just being aware of it has helped a ton. Realizing my daily stressors aren’t that big in the scheme of things. And remembering that when I’m “off-duty,” everything else can wait.

 

Filed Under: Parenting, Wellbeing Tagged With: habits, mindfulness, mindset, relax, relaxation, stress

The Sanity Plan Principles Part 4– Forge Close Relationships

December 9, 2016 By Sara M. 2 Comments

Welcome to part four of The Sanity Plan Principles series. The fourth principle is:

closerelationships

 Why do we need to “Forge Close Relationships?”

I bet you could instantly think of several reasons why you need close relationships. Relationships are a key component of our humanity. We live and thrive in an interconnected world.

But just knowing a ton of people is not enough. When you take a relationship deeper than just a casual acquaintance you can get so much more out of it.

Close relationships offer a sense of community. We become aware of the fact that we are not alone in this journey. We become tuned in to the needs of others outside of our immediate circles.

When you work to develop these relational bonds, you have someone to fall back on when you really need it the most. I’ve noticed that people are more likely to help one another when a connection has been established.


How do we “Forge Close Relationships?”

680x450-friends2Note my use of the action word “forge.” I carefully chose this word because I want to emphasize the fact that it is our job to take action to create deeper relationships. They do not always happen naturally or without effort.

There are lots of ways to strengthen your relationships.

You can do this by sharing more intimately with the person. Instead of talking about a subject at the surface, dig a little deeper, express how you think or feel about the subject.

You can do this by sharing how you feel about the person directly. Do you tell them that you love them? Are you physically affectionate? And I am not just speaking about romantic relationships, although this applies in that case as well.

Can you deepen the relationship by helping the other person? An offer to help with your time or expertise can be a great relationship builder. This can be especially when it comes to business networking.

Beware of the Social Media Trap

It is really easy to fall into the trap of corresponding with family, friends, and work acquaintances primarily via social media. Even the use of digital communications such as text or email can be a barrier to closeness and understanding.

680x450-friendsHave you ever gotten a message from someone that just came out wrong? No matter how you looked at it or tried to consider their point of view, it just came across as rude or distant.

This is because digital communications are missing some of the fundamental aspects of human interaction: facial expressions, body language, affect, tone, etc.

My experience

I know that I need close relationships in my life. When I begin to keep too many of my thoughts and emotions to myself, I default to feeling very alone.

I am extremely fortunate to have found a husband who I can share intimately with. This relationship is the backbone of my life. I also use emotional language with my children, parents, and siblings.

Outside of family, I’ve had a lot harder of a time developing friendships. I moved a lot throughout my life and haven’t had particularly longstanding friendships due to that. I like to have only a few really good friends at a time because I put a lot of energy into my relationships.

With my existing friends, I try to call them regularly (see social media above) and I like to get together with them as much as we can. I also know that I prefer to meet one on one with a friend, or even as two couples. Any more than that tends to overwhelm me.

I’ve made a bunch of new friends recently. I picked a couple of local women in a similar life stage to mine (with young kids) and really worked to get close with them. I am persistent in making plans to do play dates, balancing between being the host and the hosted (I like to be as fair as possible in sharing the burden). And when we do get together, I am honest and real, which often solicits a similar level of sharing in return. And as a result, I’ve been feeling a lot more connected to other people in my life.

Do you feel close to your family and friends right now? Are there any relationships that you would like to improve?

Next principle: Be Solution Oriented

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Filed Under: Relationships, Wellbeing Tagged With: basics, communication, mindset, relationships, sanity plan

How Will You Remember Their Childhood?

November 1, 2016 By Sara M. 27 Comments

680x450-childhood2“I just don’t want to look back on this time as the Dark Ages,” I tell my good friend’s wife. A large group of my college classmates and our kids were visiting a traveling farm last fall.

She sighed, “You probably will.”

This was the hardest thing for me to hear. My son was 8 months old at the time, and my daughter was 2 ¾. I was flying solo for that trip because my husband was away for business. I was a mess. Overwhelmed and exhausted, barely speaking coherent sentences. Trying to manage a willful toddler and a cranky baby.

Out with my classmates, I could barely even remember us all doing our MBAs. Only 6 years had passed but it felt like an eternity. Motherhood had changed everything.

As my son now approaches 2, and my daughter 4, things are so much better. She has improved both socially and emotionally, and she is much more willing to follow instructions and get along. My son is finally crying less, and trying to communicate his needs with words. We’ve settled into a workable routine.

But those words are still echoing through my mind. In 5 years or 10 years, am I still going to be plagued by the difficulty of these early years with my son? Am I going to feel like it was the worst time of my life? Am I going to carry the weight of this deep guilt for falling apart at such a precious time?

I think I easily could. But I don’t want to. I don’t want the film of negativity to color what I remember about my babies’ youngest years. Yes, I will probably always know that it was hard for both my husband and I, an early babyhood gauntlet.

450x680-sandyfeetBut there has been so much more that I have to work to bring to mind.

I am reminded when I go through pictures of all the fun times we’ve had together. Going to the zoo and feeding the giraffes. Going to the beach and building sand castles. My husband and I taking them to swim classes together.

Or painting with water colors outside when it was warm.

Or running around in the rain and jumping in puddles.

Or the times I bundled them up to go play outside in the snow, and they had so much fun that they barely felt the cold.

What about reading to them every single night? And how I slowed down to read at their pace, patiently answered questions, and engaged in endless side stories.

What about all of the conversations we’ve had? About silly things and serious things and everything in between. And poop, lots of poop.

What about the times I chased them around the kitchen island until we were all dizzy and they were squealing with delight? I can still hear their infectious laughter.

680x450-childhood3What about the late night and early morning snuggles? When I found their perfect tickle spots or blew raspberries on their sweet, soft bellies.

And the nursing? I am fond of the time I spent nursing my babies. Dutifully waking through the night to feed them, or before the dawn when they began to sleep longer.

So no, I will not call it the Dark Ages. That is not the right way to remember this season. I will not add stack upon stack of guilt to weigh down the beauty of my babies’ childhood. Yes, it was hard. Yes, I have cried out of frustration and exhaustion.

But I’ve been a mom, a good mom. With a big heart, and lots of love. For every correction, there has been double the amount of warmth and praise. For every difficult time, there were double the experiences of exploration and wonder.

I will remind myself of the goodness, the sweetness, and the simplest joys. The times where my true self shone through. I will let the sleepless nights and the tantrums slip away. I will engrave the good memories onto my heart to remember for always.

 

How will you look back on this period of motherhood? What will you choose?

Filed Under: Parenting, Personal Tagged With: babies, children, guilt, love, meditation, memories, mindset, motherhood, reflections, toddlers

Setting Up My Exercise Routine

October 27, 2016 By Sara M. 9 Comments

I haven’t gotten to the goal setting part of the Sanity Plan, but I just wanted to write a quick note about one of my goals. If you’ve been reading, you may have heard me say how much I hate exercise. In fact, I often refer to exercise as an allergy of mine (along with cleaning).

But recently, it has come to a point where I simply have to address my sedentary nature. For my health, both physical and mental.

Ever since my son was born almost two years ago, I have been in significant back pain. I had a strange stabbing pain in my hip for the better part of a year from misalignment. And my upper neck and shoulders are rock hard from stress, on top of a long term injury.

I’ve done all the passive treatments I can do including chiropractic and massage, both with a therapeutic bent. This works for a short period, a couple weeks at best, before the symptoms recur.

The truth is that I am not doing any of the work needed to physical maintain any of the repairs they make.

As for my sanity, I am being constantly reminded by my reading or my therapist about the benefits of physical activity. How good it is for your brain. How good it is for being present. How good it is for balancing your hormones. Add those benefits to the fact that if regular exercise keeps me out of physical pain, it will be a winning combination.

450x680-yoga2I am not getting any younger, and I am finally ready to make a commitment to exercise. This was partially prompted by my brilliant therapist who suggested that I not enroll in a coveted writing class until I had accomplished this.

So, I’ve laid some groundwork. I have chosen two low impact activities based on what I’ve described above: yoga and swimming. I’ve decided to take classes because, knowing myself, I will be much more likely to stay committed if there is accountability.

I picked out a yoga studio very close by, reviewed the schedule, and spoke with a manager about my skill level and potential classes to take. As for swimming, my timing couldn’t be better as registration is open this week for a series that begins next week.

So there it is, my goal is out there in the world. I am going to exercise two times per week. Monday mornings for swim, and Tuesday nights for yoga.

Now I can go sign up for that writing class.

Do you incorporate exercise into your Sanity Plan? What is the biggest benefit you see?

Filed Under: Wellbeing Tagged With: back pain, exercise, goals, healthy, mental health, mindfulness, mindset, swimming, yoga

Efficiency, My Captor

October 26, 2016 By Sara M. 4 Comments

680x450-working2My days are ruled by a terrible master. Slave driving and tireless, it never ends and never lessens.

I am not sure where it comes from. Is it left over from being a career woman? Did 15 years in the corporate work force influence me to reevaluate my entire life through the schema of productivity? When did it become so pervasive that it spilled over into my home life?

I see it in our society. I see is all around me. Every other article headline tells how we can be more efficient. How we can push harder. How we can get more done.

This drive conflicts with the biggest thing I’m doing right now.

Raising my kids.

Child rearing and efficiency are like oil and water. They don’t mix, and even if you can get them somewhat combined (shake, shake, shake!), it’s only a matter of time before they are polarized again.

The drive for efficiency leaves me with this aching feeling of never getting enough done. That I should always be multitasking. That any time spent waiting in line or even sitting with my children should also be combined with checking emails and mental preparation of what needs to be done next.

I make endless lists in multiple notebooks, on my phone, or in my mind. I feel compartmentalized to the point of having a fragmented mind at any given time during the day. I struggle to give my 100% attention to any single thing in a single moment.

I am constantly striving to be better at managing it all. But I am never really enjoying anything.

I am barely here.

How can I organize my life so that I can always have the laundry in at just the right time for me to do a certain task before moving it to the dryer? And then another task to fill the space until the drying is done? But I can’t forget it is in there… Can’t forget anything.

How can I fit in playing with and educating the children, while managing the household, planning meals, and cooking? Or working? Will I ever be able to manage going back to a full time career?

450x680-siblingsThe children ask if can I play with them, and more and more I respond with “I have to do this. I have to do that.” So rarely anymore do I feel free enough to prompt play, or join in with them while they play on their own. How must they feel watching their mom consumed by a whirlwind of never-ending tasks?

Why are they not more important to me?

Why can’t I just sit and enjoy? Be present. Ignore the feelings that I should be getting something done. This is doing something. This is doing exactly what I’ve always wanted to do. Have children. Love them. Play with them. Teach them and share their joys.

I love my children. Why is that not enough to calm the itch of productivity? To ease the drive for efficiency. To erase the beckoning of my to do list.

Why do I long for them to sleep so that I can get to work? Are they really so hard to handle? Are they the placeholder in my mind between real times of work and productivity?

Why am I so unsettled by the aimless meandering that is their childhood rhythm?

Time does not hold a child captive. I can remember my four-year-old referring to every meal as dinner. I always corrected her, but it never mattered to her. Dinner was just when she ate.

No amount of urgency moves a child. Because seeing that toy you want to play with is way more fascinating than getting dressed. And you really have no concept that someone may be upset with you for being late – because you don’t even really understand what time is.

But mom does. That clock is ticking. The sound of every second can be deafening under the burden of feeling like nothing gets done. The burden that could potentially be eased if only I could be more efficient during those precious moments of free time and good energy. If I just pushed harder.

And now I must stop. I’m glad that you understand. I thought I was the only one.

I can breathe now.

I think I’ll go see what the kids are up to.

The hell with efficiency.

Filed Under: Parenting, Personal, Work/Life Tagged With: balance, mindset, motherhood, parenting, productivity

THE SANITY PLAN PRINCIPLES PART 2– Discover Yourself

October 24, 2016 By Sara M. Leave a Comment

Welcome to the part two of The Sanity Plan Principles series. The second principle is:

discoveryourself

What is “Discovering Yourself?”

When you turn your attention inward to study your own thoughts, feelings, motivations, and preferences, you are “discovering yourself.”

Figuring out who we are is a lifelong journey. Partly because the introspection and self-knowledge takes time, and partly because we change so much throughout the course of our lives.

 

How do you “Discover yourself?”

This brings us back to the first principle, Being Present. In order to learn more about ourselves, we must be willing to slow down and listen.
Listen to and acknowledge our own thoughts and feelings.

680x450-blankcanvasAsk yourself questions. Did you notice a particular reaction you had? Ask yourself, “Why did I react that way?”

Pay attention to your habits and preferences. Do you like to do things in a particular order? Why is that?

Do you prefer to do certain things at certain times of day? Why is that?

 

How does “Discovering Ourselves” help us?

Self-knowledge is a powerful tool. Armed with an understanding of yourself, you can make better decisions that more closely align with your needs.

Knowing who you are helps you communicate more clearly in existing relationships. It is also important when developing new relationships in terms of the people you choose and the way you engage them.

Understanding your unique preferences helps you organize your day and your life in a way that best suits you – whether it is the type of work you do, when and how you complete certain tasks, how you orchestrate family/social time, etc.

 

680x450-relax4My experience

As my mother often reminds me, I am on a journey of “self-discovery.” I tend to have a natural tendency towards this as I am very introspective. I am fascinated to learn about my inner workings, and I also enjoy learning about what makes other people tick. It was part of my drive in pursuing a BA in Psychology.

The more I know about myself, the better equipped I am to handle whatever life throws my way. I have identified certain buttons I struggle with, which makes it easier to realize when I am falling back on an old habit or way of thinking. The ability to recognize a self-characteristic is the first step in being able to use tactics to change it or find a creative solution around it.

Not all characteristics are “bad” per se. I have recently discovered that I am a highly sensitive person. While I love to feel and experience, sometimes it can be overwhelming to others. Because I am aware of this in myself and its effect on others, I can control how much of that sensitivity I reveal.

Or, I am very aware of the fact that I do my best work in the morning when I am fresh and my mind is clear. So, I orchestrate my day in a way that I can dedicate that highly focused time to work or creativity.

 

What methods do you use in order to learn more about yourself? How does it help you to restore Sanity in your life?

 

Next principle: Build Your Network

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Filed Under: Self Discovery, Wellbeing Tagged With: basics, mindfulness, mindset, principles, sanity plan, self-discovery

The Sanity Plan – 10 Principles to Live By

October 4, 2016 By Sara M. 14 Comments

680x450-writingOne of the best ways to stay focused on improving your life is to define a set of principles to live by. These principles then become the default for when you are not sure on a decision or path to take.

Here are the principles we use to guide us along our Sanity Plan (not sure what a Sanity Plan is? Click here). Each highlighted principle has a linked post explaining it in further detail.

  1. Be present – This above all else. Presence of mind is the key to all the remaining principles; without awareness, one is perpetually stuck in a reactive state of being.
  2. Discover yourself – Be on a “journey of self-discovery.” Self-knowledge will aid in making better decisions based on your unique needs.
  3. Build your network – We cannot do this alone. If you don’t have a built in support network of family and friends, build your own.
  4. Forge close relationships – Worthwhile relationships are as important as food and water. Get past the surface and give more of yourself.
  5. Be solution oriented – Become aware of the problems you face, and take steps to find a better way to tackle each one. Implement on the spot, if possible.
  6. Control your inputs – We are a living in a sea of information and stimulation. Be conscious of creating a filter based on your values.
  7. Create systems – Recurring tasks should be automated to reduce workload.
  8. Reduce obligations/Simplify – Obligations eat away at the balance you are trying to create in your life. Accommodate them sparingly.
  9. Honor your body – Your body is going to carry you through this life. Nourish it with real food, good sleep, and exercise.
  10. Give back – Complete the cycle. As you receive the fruits of your journey, share them with someone else who needs a hand.

I will be covering each of these principles in a separate post, and use them as recurring themes as well. Be sure to follow to join in the conversation!

Would you add anything to this list? What principles do you live by that help keep your life sane?

Filed Under: Self Discovery, Wellbeing Tagged With: mindset, principles, sanity plan, values

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Welcome to THE SANITY PLAN! Here you will find my attempts to restore order in my crazy life post kids. I'm just getting started & I have a lot to say. So far I've written a lot about my perspectives on parenting (sorry, it's where I am at), but I'd love it if you followed my journey to improve my habits, get more organized, redefine my career, and generally live a good life. Or, you can follow just for the entertainment, I promise there will be lots of that. Do you want to learn more about building A Sanity Plan?

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