So, what is a ‘reset button?’
Think of the reset button on your phone or computer. What does it do?
It stops all processes (usually required as a result of malfunction) and returns the device to it’s original functioning state.
It’s a reboot, a fresh start.
Can you think of how useful that could be if applied to your everyday life? Having a bad day? Reboot it. Fell off your diet wagon? Start over.
Why do you need a ‘reset button?’
Because life.
Because of those times when everything seems to be going wrong and it is steadily getting worse.
Because of ruts, bad starts, and what can go wrong will go wrong.
Sometimes simply knowing that we need to shift directions and trying to force ourselves to behave can actually make the situation worse, or continue the same downward spiral.
When do you need a reset?
This is totally personal. Here are some of the times when a reboot is essential for me:
When I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, a.k.a. cranky, and I’m having a difficult time getting out of my funk.
When I’m overly frustrated with a project, or with everything.
When I’m feeling so overwhelmed, I don’t know where to start.
Right after an argument with my spouse or one of the kids. (Hello emotional hangover)
When I feel like I’m falling short, running late and behind on everything.
When I’m groggy or my head is just not clear.
When it seems that I’m heading in the wrong direction with my day, nothing seems to work, or I’m floundering.
When I’m angry and all I want to do is yell, yell, yell.
When the kids are getting on my nerves over every little thing, and I don’t feel like being nice.
When I’m repeatedly making the wrong decisions whether it’s checking Facebook instead of working or eating sugary foods instead of sticking to my commitment to eat healthy.
How can you reset?
I have some definite go-to’s for this. Since I don’t have a magical ‘easy’ button, I have come to rely on these strategies for resetting my day:
Take a shower (um, yes, even if this means taking a second shower) – taking a shower is so relaxing for me. I have time to think. I come out fresh and clean and recharged, ready to tackle whatever was stopping me before. It is also great for idea generation and clarity.
Take a drive – similar to the above. My mind gets clearer when I go out for a drive. My ideas become a lot more organized when my mind is simultaneously focused on the task/rhythm of driving.
Take a walk/yoga/exercise – This is especially helpful if you can go outside. Get moving. Go outside. The light and movement activates your senses, allowing you to get past sticking points.
Run an errand – This ones a twofer – it combines taking a drive with getting something done. When I can’t focus well at home, just changing my environment and accomplishing something I’ve needed to do really helps me make a clean break.
Finish one small task – This is especially helpful when I’m floundering and don’t know where to start. Is there one itsy bitsy tiny thing I can do in 10 minutes or less? Just to get the ball rolling, just to get the sense of accomplishment. It totally works.
Switch tasks (gears) – one of the best things about staying home with the kids or working from home is the flexibility in prioritizing tasks. If I just can’t work, and I’m sitting here banging my head on a figurative wall, I have the flexibility to get up and clean something, fold laundry (usually something physical because my roadblocks are typically of the mental kind). Which has the added benefit of getting some nagging chore off my to do list.
Take a nap – this depends on how much time you have and how tired you are. If I’m really tired and that is the reason for my crankiness or lack of patience, then a good hour long nap is perfect. If I’m just looking for a reboot due to brain fog or an emotional hangover (see arguments above), then a 20 or 30 minute power nap is fantastic. That release into sleep usually clears out the negative stuff and allows almost a perfect restart.
Read a book – Books with short chapters are great for this. I can read one or two chapters, engross myself in someone else’s words and ideas, therefore detaching myself from my stuck ones.
Can you start to see what kinds of tasks are good for a reset? Anything that you can do that helps you break from your current mode. Think fresh, refresh, clean, shake things up, move, take a break, start over, begin again.
Final Thoughts
Employing a strategy to catch yourself heading off track and get things turned around is so helpful. It prevents you from wasting time in a bad mood or floundering and being ineffective.
And the bonus for parents?
A) Your children see you model this kind of behavior.
B) You can help your children reset when they get stuck. Seeing this in yourself helps you see it in your children, who do this quite often as part of their growing emotional control capabilities.
I’m embarrassed to say I need to do this quite often, at least several times a week. I’ve even had to do it multiple times in the same day. But you know what, that’s my rhythm, and the more I accept myself, the easier it is to employ solutions.
Do you employ any of these strategies? I’d love to hear what activities work best as a ‘reset button’ in your life.
As long as I can remember, I have had a difficult time making decisions. I go back and forth, weigh the pros and cons, and sometimes even spend exhaustive amounts of time discussing my thought process with loved ones. My husband, who can make decisions in a split second, is easily irritated by my incessant rumination.
When I started this blog, I decided that I wasn’t going to talk that much about money. Not because I thought it wasn’t important, but because I just assumed it was such a popular topic that it had all been covered before. What could I possibly add to the conversation? Now that I’ve been writing for almost a year and considering my Sanity Plan, I realized that it is too important to neglect.
We also place a high importance on eating high quality foods. Not necessarily all organic, but high quality fresh meats and produce can really increase a grocery budget.
And I don’t mean in the sense that you forego makeup and wear pajamas all day. What I mean is do you ever really just let loose, totally engross yourself in the moment, or forget about your stressors or to-do list?
And then at my worst moments, I wonder what is it that I am so stressed about anyways? I lived a pretty charmed life. I am a stay at home mom. We have decent finances so I don’t feel pressured to go back to work. I get help with the kids for several hours per week (hired because we don’t have a support network). Our family life is going well (we get along and the kids are pretty well behaved). So, what’s with all the stress? I keep going back to the idea that it seems to be just my default reaction to all of the tasks I have to do. Even things that are not that big of a deal in the scheme of life (nobody would die if I didn’t do them) just feel stressful.
Note my use of the action word “forge.” I carefully chose this word because I want to emphasize the fact that it is our job to take action to create deeper relationships. They do not always happen naturally or without effort.
Have you ever gotten a message from someone that just came out wrong? No matter how you looked at it or tried to consider their point of view, it just came across as rude or distant.
“I just don’t want to look back on this time as the Dark Ages,” I tell my good friend’s wife. A large group of my college classmates and our kids were visiting a traveling farm last fall.
But there has been so much more that I have to work to bring to mind.
What about the late night and early morning snuggles? When I found their perfect tickle spots or blew raspberries on their sweet, soft bellies.
I am not getting any younger, and I am finally ready to make a commitment to exercise. This was partially prompted by my brilliant therapist who suggested that I not enroll in a coveted writing class until I had accomplished this.
My days are ruled by a terrible master. Slave driving and tireless, it never ends and never lessens.
The children ask if can I play with them, and more and more I respond with “I have to do this. I have to do that.” So rarely anymore do I feel free enough to prompt play, or join in with them while they play on their own. How must they feel watching their mom consumed by a whirlwind of never-ending tasks?
Ask yourself questions. Did you notice a particular reaction you had? Ask yourself, “Why did I react that way?”
My experience
One of the best ways to stay focused on improving your life is to define a set of principles to live by. These principles then become the default for when you are not sure on a decision or path to take.