TheSanityPlan

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How My Experience Writing for The Mighty Is Helping Me Heal

October 26, 2016 By Sara M. Leave a Comment

450x680-thinkingThis week, I opened the window to my heart. I shared a deeply personal essay about how I feel when I dissociate. I sent my words out into the world, not knowing how they would be received.

I had no idea where I was headed when I began writing this summer. I’ve always known there is a writer in me, I’ve always just been too practical to let her out. One foot in front of the other, marching down that practical life path. “You’ll never make any money writing,” echo my father’s words.

And yet, here I am, no longer bound by practicality, finally allowing my words to venture out. And I can’t stop. There isn’t enough time in the day to write all the things I need to share.

My body is a house for pain. It is the physical boundary of all my sadness and hurtful memories. They are lined up at the door now, anticipating their freedom.

My therapist asked me during our last session what I do to help myself feel better. How do I resolve each experience after I’ve talked about it? I didn’t really have a good answer. Most of the time, I just try to live a good life. I share or write about it and move on. When I get home, my children or my husband need me and I get pulled away from those thoughts. Back into this world, leaving that one open and raw.

But is that true healing? Have I found a proper home for that pain? Can I put it away on a shelf for now, maybe forever?

Now I think I know part of the answer. Part of my healing has come from complete strangers. It has come from you.

Because I shared with you a piece of my heart. And you didn’t shy away. It wasn’t too much to hear.

You didn’t tell me I was weird.

You didn’t tell me to get over it.

You didn’t tell me I’m broken beyond repair.

Instead, what you said was, “Me too” and “I feel that way.” And now I know that I am not alone. I never have been.

680x450-bloomAnd my words were shared more times than my humble heart could imagine. You shared them because they are your words now. You shared them because you were finally able to make someone else understand how you really feel. You shared them because they might describe and help someone that you know.

Thank you. This “Mighty” community is filled with so much love and compassion that I am overwhelmed. The editors and the readers are an amazing group of people, handling each unique condition and experience with the honor it deserves.

Here is a safe place where I can heal.

Filed Under: Personal Tagged With: community, healing, letter, The Mighty, writing

Thank You for Loving My Kids

August 22, 2016 By Sara M. Leave a Comment

680x450-mom-son-park

As I sit here on your very last day with us, I am trying to find the words to describe this sinking feeling in my gut. I am so sad to have you go, and I’ve been mourning this day almost since you got here.

It would be easy to list the “things” you have done for us every day. Playing with the kids, carting them to and fro, feeding them and picking up after them. Believe me, all of those things alone would be reason to miss you.

But what I will miss the most is how you loved them. It was clear to me the first time I saw you play with my son’s hair absentmindedly. I treasure your endless supply of patience, which must truly be a gift to my children when I have clearly run low on it these days. You love them wholeheartedly, despite their challenges and demands and whether they are open to it or not.

By loving our children, you gave me such a gift. I was able to relax when you cared for them, spending time recharging my batteries and working on creative work. It made the transition so much easier for me, that the kids willingly waved goodbye to me in order to go and have fun with you. Your willingness to wait for my daughter to come to you on her own terms is the most special gift of all, and demonstrates a skill not found in most people your age.

I had no idea that our summer would go this way. Your limited experience with kids was no problem, you jumped right in and watched and listened and learned. And I have learned from you as well, that all of our hard work means something. That other people see us as doing a great job even though it’s hard to see for ourselves. That our kids are turning out just fine.

Thank you for spending the summer with us. Thank you for opening your heart and becoming a part of our family. Thank you for loving us.

You will be missed.

Filed Under: Parenting, Relationships Tagged With: childcare, kids, letter, love, sensory, spd

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Welcome to THE SANITY PLAN! Here you will find my attempts to restore order in my crazy life post kids. I'm just getting started & I have a lot to say. So far I've written a lot about my perspectives on parenting (sorry, it's where I am at), but I'd love it if you followed my journey to improve my habits, get more organized, redefine my career, and generally live a good life. Or, you can follow just for the entertainment, I promise there will be lots of that. Do you want to learn more about building A Sanity Plan?

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