TheSanityPlan

Solutions for finding balance in this crazy world

An Update on Our Snowbird Status

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Snowbirds

Thanks to all of the readers of my popular piece, Why I Became a Snowbird in my 30’s.

I responded to many of the comments, but I wanted to provide a formal update.

Unfortunately, we have had to give up snowbirding. Over the years we faced many barriers to our trips, but the biggest hurdle is the kids’ schooling.

Inflexible School Systems

During our last trip, we had to finagle a partial trip for our middle schooler, my stepdaughter, because she was only able to take 3 weeks off of school. We thought we were in pretty good shape because it was pre-approved with the school and we were told she’d be given work to do while we were away. We arranged to have her grandparents take care of her because her mother does not live locally.

When it came time to take the trip, the teachers did not have work prepared, and instead told our daughter to enjoy her vacation. Despite the pre-approval and offer to work on vacation, the teachers appeared to penalize her for the remainder of the year, even after she caught up with the rest of the class. We were extremely unhappy with this outcome and registered this worry for future trips.

Now that she is in high school, and if it were just her, we *can* resume our Florida trips because her high school offers online school. She can actually take the first semester in person, which ends around Christmas, and then participate in online school for the rest of the year. All of the high schools in our area offer this option.

Unfortunately, this is our younger daughter’s first year in elementary school. At the orientation we inquired about the possibility of a long trip to Florida in the winter. The administrator looked surprised that we’d even asked something like this; he said the only way we could do it would be to disenroll her from their school, enroll her in Florida, and then reenroll her in Pennsylvania when we returned. And honestly, it sounded too disruptive to go through all those hoops.

Just as I was preparing to write this, I did hear of another family from my area (not the same primary school, though) that actually does this. My immediate concern was how the kids adapted to that much change every year. And to my surprise, they love it. The kids have friends in both locations, and it’s been so regular that no-one even bats an eye at it now. But, I still hesitate because I don’t know if it would be good for my kids. Even during our prior trips at their very young ages, I noticed a considerable transition period both when we’d arrive and when we’d return home.

So, as you can see, the biggest problem for us is schooling. There are also a couple of housing factors that would also complicate things if we decided to do it anyways:

1) The area that we were renting in has gotten more and more expensive every year

2) We do not always rent the same house so the kids could potentially have to go to different schools. And while it would be preferable to buy a property, the higher prices would probably deter us from doing that.

3) Lack of familial support. If you’ve been reading, you know that we don’t have much in the way of family support systems. Instead, we have had to work really hard to build up our child care support networks. To confound matters, when we leave for extended periods of time, we risk our home support network while simultaneously having to build a new temporary one in Florida.

Our New Plan

I’m sorry I cannot report more success in this area because I know a number of you are considering snowbirding with kids. This past winter was really hard for my family, especially my husband. We couldn’t even take a short trip this year because we had a newborn and quite frankly, there are so many of us now. At six people, we now need two hotel rooms to be comfortable. So, around February, my husband wilted despite a couple of his business trips being in sunny locales.

As the cold season approaches again, the topic of how we are going to deal with future winters has become urgent again. One idea is to plan a pick-me-up vacation of at least 10 days in late January/early February. It has to be a sunny location, and we will stretch for even longer even if that means we send the teen home early. Because there are so many of us, we’ll be looking for an Airbnb type place so we can stay centralized in one place and cook for ourselves to offset the cost.

Secondarily, we are going to start trying some active winter trips. Living in the northeast we are within driving distance from many ski resorts so we are going to take some weekend trips to keep up our activity level despite the cold.

And lastly, we’ve all begun to take a supplemental Vitamin D. I learned that we simply do not get enough vitamin D from the sun in our area so a daily supplement can help boost energy levels. I’ve also purchased my husband a sun lamp that he can use in his office to increase his intake of vitamin D.

I’ll let you know how each of these things turn out. I wish there were easier ways to manage schooling for those of us that prefer to snowbird for our health. I can only hope that school systems will become more flexible in the future, and I am looking forward to the later years when our highschoolers will have more flexibility.

 

One Last Note on Homeschooling

The next obvious question is… if school is the problem, why don’t we homeschool our children?

And the truth of the matter is that we (I mean “I”) could. But, after spending the last six years with my children, I have come to the conclusion that our children would do better in a traditional school setting. I think this is a result of the blend of personalities (including my own) and the ages of each member. Plus, having the children in the home day in and day out makes it difficult for my husband to concentrate on his business. I am open to homeschooling the children as they mature and progress in their education if I am able to test that our learning relationship improves.

 

I wish I had better news for those of you interested in forging your own path for your family instead the the typical one. I’d love to hear success stories in the comments if you have found a way to make this work for you!

 

 

Sanity Plan Success Stories – Raising Kids Far from Home

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One of the things I love the most about the Sanity Plan is getting the opportunity to see how other people put their own Sanity Plans in action. The following post is a guest post written by an American woman who is raising her children abroad. I got to know Emily through a writing group we belong to and found her story incredibly interesting. I hope you do, too!

A Sanity Plan: Three R’s that Keep My Life Abroad Balanced 

As an American mom married to a Czech, keeping a healthy life balance while raising children abroad is a top priority. My family has lived in the Czech Republic for more than 13 years now. Many Czech friends, my own children, and my mother ask me why we don’t live in America, or when we’re planning to return to the US. I used to ask myself the same thing.

Now, I can’t imagine leaving.

Over the years, I’ve tried to understand where home is for my family. Like many expats, I’ve had moments where I’ve wanted to pack my bags and wave goodbye to the Czech Republic for good, and I’ve had moments in the US where I’ve longed for the day of my flight to arrive to take me back to Prague.

On good days, I am at home in my adopted country of the Czech Republic. Beer is cheaper than water, there are more castles per square meter than in any other European country, and Czechlish is my family’s language of choice. I thrive on the atmosphere of growth that comes from living in a country different from where I grew up, where even going to the store to buy meat can be an adventure.

Then, there are the bad days. When the supermarket clerk gives me a cold stare that brings me to tears, or the heating goes out, and I don’t know the right words to say to the serviceman in Czech. When my children are embarrassed that I can’t speak Czech like a native, or I yearn to chat with my mother but realize by the time she’s awake, my day will be halfway gone.

Despite believing that making a home in the Czech Republic was the right decision for my family, I do miss my roots (a lot).

To help me feel grounded in my life abroad, I have created a Sanity Plan that I like to call “My 3 R’s.” Based on rituals that I can do wherever, whenever I need to feel balanced, “My 3 R’s” are an essential part of keeping my own sanity. These rituals are what I give to myself to keep my passions alive, my sense of humor intact, and to remind myself of who I am beyond the labels (mother, wife, teacher, writer, fill in the blank).

My 3 R’s:  w(R)iting, Reading, and Running

Writing (and friends who write)

Years ago, I met two Americans in Prague who liked to write as much as I did. One evening a week, we shared our stories over dinner. With encouragement from my friends, I began to write a weekly column called Half-n-Half for a local newspaper.

The column was a way for me to make sense of the cultural differences (and similarities) that I observed while living in the Czech Republic. Even when I had more important things to do (change diapers, help with homework, or teach English lessons), whenever I stopped writing, I grew grumpy and irritable. So, I picked up my pencil.

Writing was how I took a step back from my life. It was also a way for me to connect with other foreigners living in the Czech Republic and Czechs living abroad.

The other day, my preteen daughter asked me why I spent so much time writing my stories, if I didn’t get much money from them. While I fumbled to answer, getting emotional and half apologizing for my dedication to something that wasn’t putting money into our bank account or food on the table, my daughter answered her own question.

“I think I understand, Mommy,” she said. “It’s kind of like my dancing. I love dance, even if I’m not going to be a prima ballerina.”

Running

To balance my writing, I run. I am not a hard-core runner. I don’t have sleek abdominals or toned arms. I run to keep the witch inside me at bay. And, I run to let the witch out. There is an ongoing inner monologue when I run. Some days, I sort out a writing dilemma or a work problem, other times I rehash a conversation that didn’t go as planned. I think about my children and what is going on in their lives. I look at the trees or the creek that winds along my trail. Or, I stare 7-8 feet in front of me and will my legs to keep moving.

When I see other parents pushing strollers or walking with children on bikes in the woods, I often feel guilty. But, I don’t run home to coerce my children to join me. They have their own sports classes and activities. Running is my time.

On my birthday, the kids and I do a family run (at their request). When we finish, my daughter says, “I wish I had the time to run like you do.” I tell her that any time she wants to run, I would be happy to have her join me. And I mean it. I tell her that running makes me a better mom.

Reading

For my family of bookworms, bedtimes stories are the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae. Ever since they were babies, I have read aloud to my children each night. Reading is the one consistent way (in addition to speaking to them in English) that I balance their Czech school education and the Czech culture that surrounds us. It is also the one time a day when each child receives my full, focused attention.

As each child learned to read, our ritual was expanded. Now, I rotate through their rooms at bedtime, starting with the youngest. He reads a few pages in Czech, then I follow with a story in English. My older two children read on their own. On busy nights, my daughter listens to my youngest son read while I do dishes and pack school lunches. Then, I come to read to him.

Even (or rather especially) when the day has been crazy, for these few moments, I focus only on the time my child and I have carved out for one another. And the stories we share together.

 

Most days, I don’t have time to do as much writing, running, or reading as I wish. But, by following my passions a little every day, I hope my children see that their own dreams (no matter how wild or crazy they seem) are valid and real.

Do you have rituals that help you keep your life sane? I’d love to hear about them in the comments. 

 

Emily Gates Prucha teaches English and writes about raising multilingual children in the Czech Republic – the land of beer, castles, and Krtek (The Little Mole). Find her stories about Czech culture online at Half-n-Half for The Prague Daily Monitor and prague.tv. As far as Czech traditions go, she doesn’t like being whipped at Easter but having a carp swimming in her bathtub at Christmas suits her fine.

Do you have a Sanity Plan that you’d like to share? Please pitch your guest post to thesanityplan@gmail.com. 

I’m Not JUST a Stay at Home Mom

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Am I?

It’s certainly how I’ve thought of myself for the past three years, ever since I was laid off from my Finance position at a Fortune 500 company. I haven’t done any “traditional” or “full-time” work since.

Sure, there’s the argument that staying home with the kids is work. Which it most definitely is. And I’m certainly busy. In fact, most days I wonder how I ever used to work at all. But even without a full-time job, my list of domestic failings is so long that I often wonder:

“What am I doing wrong?!”

It’s pretty typical that I compare my shortcomings to other mothers’ accomplishments. One day my husband was describing in full detail watching his grandmother make pies from scratch, painstakingly crafting and rolling out the pie crust by hand. I listened intently as he reminisced about the unbelievable buttery taste, superior to any store-bought creation that passes as dessert today. To which I remarked, “I don’t know how mothers used to have time to do that.” I have NEVER EVER made any pie crust by hand. It simply would take too much time (and require more patience and skill than I currently possess). But it’s not just the baking, it’s the stories of mothers who sewed clothes for their children, ironed their husband’s shirts, grew their own fruits and vegetables, made every meal from scratch, and on and on.

When I voiced my inadequacy, my husband put it simply, “You’re not really a stay at home mom.”

I’m not? It certainly feels that way most days. I handle the kids 100% during the day while my husband works and we share the responsibilities at night. I feed the family their meals, including my husband when he is working from home. I do never-ending laundry and try to keep the mess from overtaking all of our spaces. I handle groceries and supplies. I cart the kids to and fro. That’s all stay at home mom material.

It’s only reinforced by the fact that I can see that my Facebook posts are primarily about our children and family. My husband will be talking about business with me (one of my favorite topics, seriously!), and my mind will wander to wondering when I can take the kids apple picking. Where the children are at developmentally is one of my go-to conversations. And our friends and family are so used to the idea that I am home with the kids, that no one ever bothers to ask me what I might be doing beyond homemaking.

Yet my husband is right, I actually do so much more.

I am an investor.

I spend a minimum of 1-2 hours per weekday reading business news related to my investments. I am running several different investment strategies across 5 brokerage accounts, which takes time to manage. In addition, I have also been teaching my husband about the stock market and helping him develop his own strategies according to his risk tolerance. At this time, my taxable portfolio is my largest source of income, between $15-20k per year.

I help my husband with his business.

I don’t have as much time to devote as I used to, but I jump in to cover the office while he is away. Because I worked with him for many years and am familiar with the business, I often am his sounding board for problems he encounters.

I am a writer.

For one, I run this blog. Second, I am freelance writing for other sites. Third, I did copy-writing for a company that needed Amazon product pages rewritten. These jobs haven’t added up to a whole lot of income this year, but it was WORK.

When I consider these and other jobs I maintain, it’s easier to see why I am ALWAYS feeling behind on my domestic tasks. I mean, there’s also the fact that I don’t particularly like cleaning and organizing. But when I add up all the hours spent on traditionally non-SAHM tasks, I can see where my husband is coming from.

And I am not the only one. I know many, many other mothers who might appear from the outside to be Stay at Home Moms, but they are all doing more than just the mom thing. I know people who volunteer, do photography, teach or tutor, freelance in various capacities, or do creative work like making jewelry or art. In fact, I know more of these types of hybrid moms than the more traditional ones.

This post is not intended to devalue anyone who is solely a Stay at Home Mom. I sometimes wish that I could just manage the kids and the household and do nothing else. And then I come back to the reality that I am not particularly well suited for that kind of work and devotion. Keeping my mind occupied with the other things I do really helps to keep me sane.

What about you? Are you a SAHM? What else do you do that doesn’t typically fall under that description?

How to Cheat at Reading Your Kids Bedtime Stories

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I love reading to my kids every night before bed.

But, some nights it feels more like a chore than other nights. Especially when they’ve given me a hard time with their nighttime routine or it’s particularly late.

The worst is when they choose the longest book in their collection and cannot be talked out of it (which, believe me, is typically my first strategy). I seriously think our 4-year-old daughter knows the difference in length of books and chooses the long ones on purpose to delay going to bed!

For those nights, my husband and I have a couple of tricks up our sleeves:

The Page Skipper

This typically only works with younger kids, but I can still occasionally get away with it with my 4-year-old. This is exactly how it sounds, instead of turning and reading each page, skip a page or two in between. You can even bridge the gap by adding in some of the story (which you already know by heart) that you skipped.

The CliffsNotes®

Did you read CliffsNotes® when you were in school? For those that didn’t, this was the best cheat ever. These handy guides summarized the subject matter, condensing it and making it much quicker to read. You can apply the same concept to reading a children’s book. Instead of reading word for word, summarize the text on the page. This will get you to the end in record time.

Let’s Talk about It

This cheat is where you don’t read the book at all, just look at the pictures and ask your child questions about them. Examples include: What’s happening on this page? How does this character feel? What is he/she upset about? Do you know what’s going to happen next?

I love this one – this gives us an opportunity to explore the book in a different way, adding new layers of understanding and changing up the reading routine if it is getting stale.

Intro Only

In this trick, you can read the first sentence on every page and skip the rest. Similar to above, you may have to improvise to make the story work, but it’s an easy way to get through a book with a lot text on every page.

You Read to Me or You Tell Me the Story

This works really well once they’ve memorized the story. My daughter can repeat most of the story word for word. You may have to give a few prompts here and there but it still gives you a break from having to read it yourself for the 100th time. Warning: If you’re looking for speed, this may not be the right trick because sometimes this can take even more time.

Remove the Longest Stories

When all else fails, or when the little buggers get old enough to know your tricks, try simply removing the super long books from their bedroom. Make them available somewhere else in the house for daytime story reading.

Want to know which ones are our current offenders? Some of these books used to be my absolute favorite books in the world, until I realized just how long they are when you are reading them for the 1,000th time:

ANYTHING BY DR. SEUSS (I know, I know, classics, but…)

Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel

The Little Engine That Could

Here are some great short books for inspiration:

Goodnight iPad

The Rainbow Fish

Mr. Tiger Goes Wild

These cheats are great for breaking up the reading routine and zipping through the bedtime story in record time. If you’re really in a rush, my favorite is definitely the CliffsNotes®. Otherwise, experiment with each and maybe even try a little mix and match.

I’m always looking for new tricks. Share yours in the comments!

Dear Mom, Look for Love All Around You

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Sometimes the ways that our family shows us love is in the smallest of things, the nuances. These little moments are easily lost between the hustle and the bustle.

Amidst the whirlwind of raising young kids, take a moment today. Take the time to stop, breathe, and look for the love that is already surrounding you. You might be surprised by what you’ll see:

The love is in the flower that your daughter picks just for you.

The love is in the cup of coffee your husband fixes for you because he knows just the way you like it.

The love is in your baby’s arms wrapped tightly around your body; belly to belly, wrapped in your warmth.

The love is in the way your daughter wants to be just like you; her favorites are your favorites.

The love is in how your tired toddler lays his head on your shoulder at the end of the night, instinctively finding the perfect nook for resting.

The love is in how your toddler son looks over his shoulder to see if you are watching him.

The love is in your child choosing you to read them a story at the end of the night.

marriageThe love is in your husband jumping in to handle the kids when he sees you’re struggling to get dinner ready.

The love is in his voice when he tells you that you’re beautiful.

The love is in their cry for you when they’ve scraped their knees, and your magic kiss is enough to take the pain away.

The love is in how hard he works to provide for the family you’ve created together.

The love is in how they call for you in the middle of the night when they are scared of a bad dream.

The love is in the way she needs you.

The love is in the way your daughter doesn’t want to share you with anyone else.

The love is in the way their little bodies give in to the heaviness of sleep, trusting in the comfort of your arms.

The love is in the way your toddler pushes away to show his independence but keeps coming back to show you he still needs you.

The love is in how your partner knows you so well and can tell when there is something bothering you.

The love is in your child wanting to share her food with you.

The love is in the picture he takes of you when it seems to you that you aren’t doing anything special at all.

The love is in how he helps pick up the house without complaint.

The love is in how they seek you out first thing in the morning, happy to be awake to see you again.

The love is in how he loves your children.

The love is in the joy that lights up their face when they’ve missed you.

The love is in how he hears your struggles and wants to help you find a solution even if it’s not exactly the one you wanted.

The love is in the way they cry when you lay them down to sleep because being in your arms was pure bliss.

The love is in the way your child says okay and finally does what you’ve told them to do.

The love is in the things they repeat back from lessons you’ve taught them over time.

The love is in how he gives his undivided attention when you have something important you have to say.

The love is in the way a hand slips into yours when you hold your hand out; no words need to be exchanged.

The love is in how you are the most important person to them in the world, and even forever would not be enough time to spend together.

 

Look beyond the hugs and kisses to find the ways that love is woven into this life you have created.

Do it today as a celebration of love, but it most importantly, look for the love every day.

 

Maintenance Mondays – A Scheduling Hack

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Monday MorningI hate schedules. In fact, despite the fact that I know that routines are really helpful for getting things done, I feel completely rebellious towards setting one and sticking to it. I guess that’s pretty immature for a 30-something year old, but hey, it’s where I’m at.

I recently came up with something that has really helped. Instead of creating a full-on schedule, I have assigned a day to catch up on things that I want to do regularly, on a weekly basis.

I call it “Maintenance Mondays.”

It initially started as a way to make sure I would do certain maintenance tasks with the children on a regular basis, such as cutting their nails or applying lotion. From there I modified it to also capture tasks that are not necessarily daily, like taking apart the kids’ boosters seats and washing them thoroughly. I also tend to do my weekly meal planning and grocery shopping on Mondays since it is the beginning of the week.

And for some reason, it stuck. When Monday arrives, I remind myself it’s “Maintenance Monday” and consider which recurring tasks I can do to get myself set up for the week. What do I need to catch up on that has been on my mind but I haven’t made time for?

Yawn Mondays

This is how I feel on Mondays

It also relates well to work. On Mondays, after the weekend of being off from work, it helps to come in and get set up. I like to review what needs to be done. I don’t know about you, but sometimes it’s really hard for me to get back into work on Monday. This is a great time to complete a couple of small maintenance type tasks, such as follow ups or the technical stuff like website enhancements or updates.

These tasks don’t take as much brain power and concentration for me as working on an in-depth project or writing. And getting started with smaller tasks is often enough to get my creative juices flowing and I can move easily from there into more critical work.

So, if you are anything like me when it comes to schedule rebellion, try picking just one day where you will devote a day to prep work, setting up, catching up, and miscellaneous tasks. I particularly like Mondays because it sets the stage for the week, helps me organize my thoughts, and gives me simple tasks to complete to get started if I am feeling lethargic or slow to start.

But it doesn’t have to be Mondays, and it doesn’t have to be related to maintenance.

How about “Free-for-all Fridays” where you run around the house doing whatever comes to mind?

Or “Take Time Tuesdays” – maybe this is a “you day” where you spend a little extra time in the shower, shave your legs, schedule an exercise class, or hit a bookstore or a coffee shop for some “me” time.

The possibilities are endless. For me, this gets around the rigidity of a typical schedule, and yet it still provides for a regular space in my life to catch up on things that I might not otherwise make time for.

Here are more ideas of things you can do on Maintenance Mondays:

  • Kid’s hygiene
  • Cleaning
  • Deep clean
  • Phone calls
  • Bill pay
  • Schedule appointments
  • Meal Planning
  • Grocery Shopping
  • Organize a space
  • Digital organization

Are you good about using a schedule? I see this concept as fitting nicely into a schedule that you have already created.


Do you have certain tasks that you like to complete on particular days? I’d love to hear your tricks to getting some of the simple things done that are easy to overlook.

A Great Way to Organize Your Child’s Artwork

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Is your artwork pile growing?    Does it look like this?    Or, worse?

This mess was making me crazy. I have a really hard time throwing anything that the kids make away because I love it all (what can I say? I’m their MOM). But I really needed to get it under control. Part of my Sanity Plan is to create systems to be better organized and efficient. I wanted to organize their artwork in a way that allowed me to preserve it, but also still enjoy it.

I did a ton of research and finally landed on using professional artwork folios and a second flat bag to capture the larger, unusually shaped items. Most of the artwork is on letter sized paper (8.5×11 inches), but I wanted to be able to store pieces that might be a little larger than that.

I chose these because of the following features:

  • Ability to add extra pages
  • Safe for archival storage
  • Multiple sizes available (I chose 11×14 portrait size, but there are other variations)

 

I wanted to personalize them for each child, so I ordered these vinyl letters. Just their names looked a little plain, so I made the label into “NAME’S ARTWORK.”

  

I started with my daughter’s artwork because she’s four and I’ve accumulated the most artwork for her. I sorted it by date and once I saw everything I had, I was able to eliminate pieces that were hard to identify or didn’t demonstrate a skill she’d gained.

NOTE: One thing I’ve done that’s proven to be really helpful was to label each piece when it came home.

I typically put the child’s name, date or age, and the place or activity where it was made.

 

Another thing I love about the ability to add/remove pages is that I can always pare down even more artwork as we go along, especially as newer pieces come in to replace them. I can’t wait to show the kids their portfolios when they are older and give them their collection one day.

Once they were set up I put them in a drawer where I can easily access them to add additional masterpieces. While I don’t see myself filing as they come in, I will collect new artwork throughout the year, choosing what I want to keep and file once or twice a year.

It was such a relief to complete this project (it was one of my goals). I love having a system and feeling more organized with their artwork. I’ve already gotten a few new pieces and knew exactly where to store them!

This setup would also be a great gift idea for parents of a one-year old or two-year old, you could even decorate the cover a little more or add a special note on the inside. Everything I used is below:


How do you organize your child/children’s artwork? I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments.

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Hosting A Low-Stress Birthday Party for Kids

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birthday partyBoth my kids had birthdays recently, one on either side of Christmas so it is a really hectic time for our family. This past weekend, we had my son’s 2nd birthday party and finally the pressure is off.

I really do love hosting parties. I love to see the kids enjoying themselves and having a reason to get together with my friends. But… I am relieved when it’s finally over. It’s just stressful planning and preparing for upcoming events, especially so close to the holidays and travel.

But this party went extremely well. It flowed so easily, the kids and the adults mixed well, and I honestly was able to really enjoy myself while hosting. Shocking, right?

I’ve been trying to think of the reasons it went so well, because I would love to replicate it for every party from here on out. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

Spread Out the Cleaning

Cleaning is not my forte. There are a lot of areas that become dumping grounds that I targeted throughout the week and everyone knew not to fill them back up because of the party. Some areas needed to be re-cleaned right before the party (like the kitchen), but only a touch up was necessary.

Prep, Prep, Prep

Most of the major prep work had to be done in advance because my stepdaughter had her first communion and a celebratory brunch that morning. This turned out to be a blessing because there wasn’t too much to do on the actual morning of the party – which made me so much more relaxed and mentally prepared for entertaining the guests. I will definitely need to implement this rule for myself in the future.

Accept Help

My girlfriend offered to bake my son’s cake, which was delicious. She also crafted a gorgeous Toy Story themed topper that I can save for a memento that just deeply touched my heart. I tend to be horrible at both asking for and accepting help but this made it all worth it. I also accepted help with cutting bread and laying out snacks, as well as cleaning midway when we transitioned to cake time. It’s so easy for me to want to do it all, but it really helped to allow others to participate (and they didn’t really seem to mind). I think these roles are often done by family, but I don’t have that kind of support.

Hire Help

I know not everyone has this option, and many people don’t need this because they have family nearby. While my husband was attending his daughter’s communion, I had my sitter come for a few hours to help with the kids and last minute prep work like cutting veggies and kitchen cleanup. Just a couple of hours made a HUGE difference. This way, I was able to run out and get the food and the balloons without having to juggle the littles.

Use Simple Decorations

birthday partyI like to keep it simple with decorations. We have a banner we re-use for every birthday party. We ordered themed balloons, one set of prepackaged table toppers, and cake plates/napkins. That’s it. I’ll dress the tables up with our neutral tablecloths, but for us this is all that is needed to make the house feel festive.

Use Catering Where It Makes Sense

Money or time is the question when it comes to catering. Luckily our local grocery store offers pretty economical catering so I did a mix. We did our own veggie/salad/cheese/fruit trays and I ordered entrée style foods from the store. It was simple to reheat and I was able to provide something a little different than my standard go-tos for parties. This took a lot of the burden off of me and kept the kitchen in decent shape.

Provide Easy & Mess-Free Activities

Our parties are always for the whole family, and the mix was about 50/50 adults to kids ranging from 1-13 years old. It is super hard to entertain that large of a range but we often do a divide and conquer strategy. I am wary of providing supplies that are extremely messy for parties in case I end up with artwork on the walls. I found these great scratch off pages and stylus sticks that that the kids loved and put out coloring books and washable crayons. My husband was in charge of playing a movie for the older kids in the basement.

Make Simple Gift Bags

I am always looking for a mix between inexpensive and useful, yet still age appropriate and fun. As usual, I hit up Amazon for their selection. These were all great hits. I didn’t mind overbuying on the Model Magic because we literally use this all the time for taking to restaurants and on long trips. It’s cheap enough that you can throw it out if it gets yucky and it’s less messy than Play-Doh.

*****

I had such a wonderful time at my son’s 2nd birthday. With every smooth transition, I kept being reminded about how fortunate I am to have my support network and awesome friends. Most people have been coming to our house for years, so everyone reacquainted easily. I will definitely be keeping these lessons in mind for future parties to keep my stress levels down.

What helps you the most with party prep? Do you get the chance to enjoy yourself during parties?

 

 

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DIY Craft: Turn Recycled Artwork into Giftable Ornaments

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I am not your typical crafty mom, but once in a while I get a really good idea. My kids have been really into painting recently. We’ve been doing it several times a week, and that’s a lot if you consider the set up and cleanup work involved.

I’d already had the idea that I wanted to give some of their artwork to their grandparents for Christmas, but most of their painted pages looked a little… well, boring. What if I could transform them into a gift that still featured their art but would also be useful?

Voila, Christmas ornaments.

Materials Needed:

  • Old artwork (preferably on thick paper – alternatively you could put a backing on it)
  • Permanent marker for tracing
  • Card-stock for creating stencils (or use store bought ones)
  • Scissors
  • Ribbon scraps
  • Optional – glitter glue or squeeze paint for additional design

I created Christmas themed stencils using a black permanent marker.

  

Then I traced them onto the face of the artwork. I decided to do it this way because I wanted to see the black outline, but you could always use the back if you don’t want to see it. Note: Don’t aim for only colored areas, the white space provides a nice contrast. Also, look to capture defined features like hands and fingerprints – see if you can find my son’s in the final images below!

I added details on the front for the snowman and the wreath. Then, we added accent color to each set with glitter glue and some squeeze paint. My husband, who is especially not crafty, even got involved at this point.

 

I used the tip of the scissors to poke a hole in the top of each ornament and strung about 10 inches of leftover ribbon through it. Note: when you tie the ribbon, be sure to knot it in such a way that the opening of the ribbon is facing the same way as the ornament face. Otherwise it’ll hang crooked on the tree.

That’s it. This would be a fun project for toddlers at home or even for the classroom.

  

Additional thoughts:

These needed much more adult involvement that I thought due to the cutting and stringing. I might suggest creating a stencil that does not require a cut out in the middle to keep it more simple. Older kids than mine (2 and 4) would potentially be able to help with cutting and stringing if the designs were simple enough.


What do you do with your kids’ extra artwork? Would you be interested in a printable of my stencil outline?

Pin this idea for next year!

TheSanityPlan is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. All products recommended are used personally by us and opinions about them are our own.

 

5 Things I Did Not Know About My Firstborn

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First time parenting is rough. It’s one of those things in life that even preparation leaves you unprepared. I studied early child development during my Psychology degree. I read tons of books while pregnant. I drew on my experiences from taking care of my younger siblings as a teen. I talked to everyone I knew about parenting strategies.

Despite all of this, what I learned about my daughter, my firstborn, was mostly in retrospect after my second arrived.

How “Little” She Really Was

This may sound intuitive to some people, but I continually expected my daughter to be so much more capable than she actually was. I pushed her very hard to be able to sit quietly, entertain herself, play well with other children, and get quickly over disappointments and tantrums.

But now, watching my 22-month-old son, I am struck by how little she really was at this age. Now I “get it” and I am gentler with him (and her) because of it. I better understand how much time it takes to learn to communicate or develop emotional control.

I think part of what made it so hard for us to see was that she was so advanced. She ate with utensils at 10 months old. She spoke in full sentences at 18 months. She could entertain herself for an hour or sometimes more. She appeared so much more mature than she actually was.

How Much She Was Capable of Doing for Herself

I had super high expectations for her on some things, but I also had very low expectations in other ways.

It wasn’t until I enrolled my son in day care at 1 year that I realized how much babies could do for themselves. Their goals for that age were self-feeding and self-care. They were consciously teaching this age group things I was still doing for my daughter at 3.

I had just done so many things for her, instead of taking the time to empower her to do them for herself. I picked out her clothes, dressed her, washed her hands for her, even fed her if it was too messy.

So now, with two little ones, it is a lot easier to encourage him to try more things for himself. And I get a lot more resistance from her because I have helped her for so long. She sees my reluctance to help her with those things as me pushing her away.

How Much She Was Not “Boyish”

At the risk of sparking the gender debate, please remember this is just an account of our experience.

My husband and I watched her approach to life and would often comment that she was more like a boy than a girl. She was aggressive and rough, preferring blocks and cars to dolls and stuffed animals. She wanted to run around, jump around, and be thrown up in the air.

At 1, we noticed she was incredibly mechanically minded, driven to figure out how things worked. She was fascinated by buckles and latches, manipulating any she could get her hands on.

When our boy arrived, it become obvious how wrong we were. The elements of her that had seemed to be “boy-like,” now proved characteristics of her unique personality as opposed to being gender related.

Our son does not ever stop moving. She can sit still for long periods of time exploring a book or a puzzle. Our son is rough and tumble in a different way, often getting hurt without even noticing.  Our son climbs everything, whereas it never occurred to our daughter to try some of the things he’s climbed until she saw him do it.

How Kids Are So Different

So often we watch our son do something that instantly reminds us when our daughter did the exact same thing. Their mannerisms are so similar it is eerily reminiscent of déjà vu. And yet, what I’ve really learned is that they can also be so different, despite being so alike.

Our little man is sweet and sensitive, craving physical closeness. She’s much more independent, preferring physical contact on her own terms. She plays imaginatively, while he is very physical: throwing balls, pushing cars, running, and jumping. She loves to communicate; he is not determined to do so. He tends to get frustrated and gives up easily, she will persevere until she solves it.

How Siblings Aren’t Necessarily Good for Each Other

This one was a huge hurt for me. I knew from my husband’s experience that sibling relationships aren’t always easy. However, nothing could have prepared me for what happened.

She was two when he was born. Our son was a difficult baby, who commanded an extraordinary amount of time and attention. She had been very attached to me up until that time, barely allowing anyone else to do anything for her, even my husband.

His arrival broke our bond in a very intense way. Despite our goal of encouraging additional connections in her life, I wish it had not happened in such a drastic manner. Looking back, I don’t think there was much more that we could have done to ease her transition, short of postponing having another baby.

It took her more than a year to even out, get more settled into her new role. We are heartened by the beginning of a relationship between them now that he is almost 2.

*****

These are not things you can learn from a book or a more experienced parent. You have to live them and breathe them, and let the experiences change you. I have regrets, but I can’t change the past. I can learn from these insights, applying them to each new stage as we all grow together.

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