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The Sanity Plan Success Stories – A Salon for One

January 4, 2017 By Sara M. 16 Comments

As I continue to work on my Sanity Plan, I am noticing people all around me with Sanity Plans of their own. I am always keeping a look out for how people take steps (big or small) to accomplish a goal or even change the direction of their whole life.

Today’s story is about my wonderful hair dresser. I’ve known Teri for about 4 years and have had a front row seat to watch how she was able to manifest a significant change in her life. I know it will inspire you as well.

I first met Teri in a fancy salon in our downtown historic section. The setting was gorgeous and I always felt like a pampered queen when I went there. I didn’t mind the extra expense because I typically only go once or twice a year (read: lazy mom-do). I’d been passed around to a number of ladies until Teri cut my hair, and it looked great and stayed great for months. I also looked forward to our conversations about life, kids, marriage, writing, and business. The business talks were my favorite subject as I have my MBA and she was working on her BA in Business at the time.

Teri’s Sanity Plan

Teri had more than 20 years of experience in hair care, with a considerable list of devoted clients. She was growing tired of the politics at the salon and was concerned that her customers were not getting the best experience. Teri made a decision to venture off on her own.

She rented a tiny shop less than a mile away and set up a single chair and washing station. She and her husband updated and decorated the space to capture that modern salon feel. Teri worked to set up her business, learning each step that was required along the way.

The Results

I was a little apprehensive for my first visit because I’d really enjoyed the ambiance of the previous salon. But the experience was actually so much better for me, without the chaos and the noise, and we easily continued our ongoing conversation. It was private and cozy, offering a very different feel than I was used to.

The best part of this change, which took an enormous amount of courage, is that I have never seen a more happy and relaxed business owner. It’s been the better part of a year and I can see the true joy and relief she experiences in being her own boss and having full control over her career.

Her favorite parts?

Setting her own schedule
Having a private space to serve her clients and be creative
Getting time to talk one-on-one with her customers
Keeping more of the profits from her work
Being able to work alone if she chooses
Learning all aspects of business ownership and salon operation

What is so inspiring to me about Teri’s change is her devotion to the process. She made a decision, set her plans in motion, and followed through. There was no waffling, no back and forth, or letting her fears of the unknown stop her from achieving this dream. She negotiated a peaceful transition of her personal clients from the old salon (most of whom she had brought there). And she is conscious of tackling each new process with measured precision, allowing for time to learn new skills before beginning a new project.

Thanks for the inspiration, Teri. Keep up the good work!

Do you have a Sanity Plan Story? Contact me to set up an interview or recommend the story of someone you know.

How to Put Your Sanity Plan into Action

January 2, 2017 By Sara M. 20 Comments

Now that we have established the basis for our Sanity Plan, it is time to take some action. If you missed our first discussion, you can catch up here.

So far, we’ve covered the 10 Sanity Plan Principles and discussed setting Sanity Plan Goals for 5 areas of your life that need improvement. I highlighted the importance of not trying to change everything at once in order to avoid getting further overwhelmed. I am a huge proponent of making a plan that is simple and achievable, otherwise it is hard to stay motivated.

I will use my own goals as an example:

Work on improving the kids’ behavior (limit meltdowns, create better routines)
Strengthen my relationship with my husband (date nights, consistent co-parenting)
Make personal care a priority (sleep, exercise schedule, self-care plan)
Create organizational habits and routines (conquer my clutter bug)
Balance my work & creative projects with home life (create effective systems)

Setting Specific & Timely Goals

Using the areas I’ve targeted above, I can now set specific goals that will help me take steps towards improvement.

Why is it important to be specific? General goals, as in the ones above, do not give a clear enough outline of the steps needed to achieve them. I have had these goals for quite some time, but without setting specific goals to accomplish, I have not improved as much as I’ve wanted to.

Why is it important to give yourself a timeline? I don’t know about you, but when I don’t have a timeline, it takes a long time for me to get to a task, if at all. Creating a deadline for myself helps me organize my schedule around certain tasks I know I need to do.

I’ve been thinking a lot about The Sanity Plan (can you tell?) and I’ve decided to set weekly goals each Monday. Here are my goals for this week and an explanation of my thought process for each:

Kid’s routines: Strengthen the daily morning routine consisting of getting dressed, brushing teeth, eating breakfast, packing lunch, cleaning up from breakfast all before 8:30 am (in that order).

I am choosing this goal because we have a pretty good evening routine, but the mornings feel disorganized. And when it feels disorganized, I start my morning on the wrong foot: stressed and grumpy.

2. Quality hubby time: Watch a movie together after the kids go to bed.

Sounds like a simple goal, but for me, I always have so much catching up to do when the kids go to bed that I feel like I can’t take the time. But for my husband, watching a movie is a great wind down activity, and he especially enjoys when we do it together.

3. Personal care: Incorporate doorway pectoral stretches into my daily lunch routine.

Stress and working long hours in front of a computer are causing pain in my neck and back. I was recently shown some stretches that will help combat the heavy forward leaning while I work. I will do this midday as a reminder to pay attention to my posture.

4. Organization: Set up the kids’ artwork filing systems.

I made a decision on the organization system I want to use for my kids’ growing pile of artwork. Now, I need to put it all together and figure out an easily accessible home for it so I can add to it throughout the year. Don’t worry, I will write it up as a post coming soon!

5. Work/Life Balance: Finish setting my 2017 writing goals.

I am very lucky to be working with a writing coach this year and my first deliverable is a three-pronged plan for my writing. This actually fits very nicely into my overall plan of developing a freelance career while maintaining good balance with the rest of my responsibilities.

Reviewing Your Progress Regularly

This is often where I fall short when goal setting. Some goals fall by the wayside because I haven’t put a good system in place for reviewing my progress.

So, when I sit down to write my goals each week, I am adding a “review” of the prior week’s goals to the process. I will consider the following:

Did I complete them all?

Where did I fall short?

What barriers did I encounter?

Did I set the “right” goals?

The Secret Ingredient

What is the secret ingredient, you ask? Accountability. Yes, definitely, we must hold ourselves accountable, but our “selves” also provide a lot of reasons and excuses for not getting done what we need to. One idea is to share your goals with a friend who wants to work on a Sanity Plan together.

Or, follow along with me. Every Monday, I am going to post my weekly goals, as well as a review of how I did during the prior week.

I’m looking forward to a simpler, saner life.

Are you ready?

Making Resolutions As A Family

January 1, 2017 By Sara M. 23 Comments

Our teen put us on the spot this year, insisting that we share our New Year’s Resolutions as a family. She’d been preparing hers for about a week but we adults only got about a 10-minute heads up.

Luckily, it wasn’t very hard to come up with what we are going to focus on in 2017. Both my husband and I tend to always be working on improving and at any given time have several goals on our minds. In fact, I hadn’t really been focused on setting resolutions because my goals are set for the New Year with several already in motion.

What was especially nice is that we had one of those rare peaceful moments to sit around the kitchen table and have a “grown up” conversation. The little man was tired after getting up early and eating a nice big breakfast so he wandered off to play quietly in his room. And the 4 year old was unusually calm as well.

Our 4-year-old daughter wants to paint more (well, she is four…).

I set a goal for the 2-year-old boy that he will be potty trained this year; he had no objection.

My husband went next. His first goal is to clear out some of our stuff. This makes complete sense to me because despite having a modest Christmas this year, the piles of new presents are still cluttering our spaces. Between that and the Christmas decor, it is easy to see how that makes him feel overwhelmed. Having young kids, we have amassed a ton of bits and parts that often get scattered throughout the house. This is incredibly unsettling to his sense of order and the weight of it blocks him from being productive. His second goal was a huge relief for me, which is to make this year be the year of finishing projects. I tend to give him a lot of leeway in regards to this aspect of his personality (starting things and not finishing) because I can live with a lot and it’s not what I want to define our relationship (think: nagging wife). But the things around the house that are not quite finished do wear on me after a while.

Our 13-year-old daughter was a bit shy at first but it was clear she’d spent a good deal of time considering her goals. Her first was to be true to herself. She explained that she’d felt as though she had let a lot of other people influence her decisions throughout the year and she wanted to change that, becoming stronger in her own opinions. Her second goal was slightly different, which was to learn more about herself. Or “discover herself” as she put it. She expressed that she would like to learn more about her likes/dislikes, favorite subjects of study, etc. Of course, I found quite a bit of irony in her goals given that she is 13 and embarking on the teenage journey of defining herself as an individual. Her father made sure to add in a note that while it is important to know yourself, we must be careful to consider other people in our decisions as well. And I made the point that her goals were probably the beginning of a lifelong journey as I am often still working on the same things.

And my goals. Well, you’ll be hearing a lot about my goals as I work through my Sanity Plan, but I wanted to commit to a couple of them to my family. My first goal is to complete my transition to a career in writing. More specifically, I plan to publish my first children’s book this year. My second goal is find ways to completely destress. Because quite frankly, I am just way too wound up all of the time. I believe most of the work I accomplish in this area will be directly related to my sensory diet and finding the right formula for truly letting go in the moment. Similar to my step-daughter’s goals, this will likely be a lifelong journey.

I’m glad she brought it up because it provided us the perfect opportunity to have an honest conversation and bond as a family. We were each vulnerable in our explanations for our goals and supportive of each other in our efforts to make improvements. It gave me new insight into the things that she is thinking about and struggling with. And I will be making an effort to check in on our resolutions throughout the year.

What are your resolutions for 2017? Do you find it helpful to set resolutions?

Why Everyone Needs a Sanity Plan & How to Create One

December 17, 2016 By Sara M. 9 Comments

The Sanity Plan.

What comes to your mind when you read those words?

If I’m correct, most of you already have an idea of what that means. When I mention working on my Sanity Plan, most people tend to nod their head like they intuitively know what I’m talking about.

Why Everyone Should Have a Sanity Plan

I look around me all the time and see the blur of people hurrying, rushing, and trying to get it all done. I see lots of commitments being made, piled up to-do lists, and work with no end in sight. Everyone I know is in high gear. What I don’t see, is people taking time for themselves. Making a plan and carving out space for some sanity in their lives.

This is so important. We can say that we want a break, complain about being overwhelmed and overworked, but nothing is going to happen until we prioritize our well-being.

I’m speaking from experience here, I have 3 kids ranging from 2 to 13 years old. I’m juggling part time work for a startup, managing a rental property, and I help support my husband’s business. I have all the telltale signs of modern life, mountainous piles of laundry, and a to-do list a mile long. You can read more of my story here.

The Goal

The goal is sanity. A balanced schedule and systems that work. So many times, we walk around with a wish list in our heads of things we’d like to change, but nothing changes without a concrete, actionable plan. As my husband likes to say,

“Sanity, you’ve got to PLAN for it.”

Try to visualize what a saner version of your life would look like. Can you identify the biggest areas that need work in order to make that happen?

Are you getting enough of the basics: sleep, healthy foods, exercise?

How effectively are you balancing your various roles as an employee (or business owner), partner, parent, family member, etc.?

Do you run your household efficiently, with systems in place for recurring tasks in order to save time and money?

Do you have enough down time for recharging your batteries? When you do have down time, are you choosing the right activities to give you a return of energy?

Everyone’s concept of sanity will vary based on their individual circumstances, values, and preferences. Some people need activities and social time to recharge. Some people, like me, prefer alone time with a good book instead.

The Plan

Now it’s time to get to work. The Sanity Plan has two components. The first is a set of principles that help guide us toward a less complicated life. The principles are available for quick use when you don’t have time for a lengthy decision making process. The second is a set of 5 personalized goals for making improvements in your life.

I have created a list of 10 important principles, but feel free to modify the list to fit your needs. I’ll cover the first principle here, but you can join my Sanity Plan Principles series for a detailed discussion of each.

Be present is the first principle.

I chose this one to be first because I don’t believe that any of us can change without being conscious our lives in real time. How can I see what is not working in my life if I am on autopilot? How can I know why I am angry and irritable with my husband if I cannot slow down and ask myself right then? Am I hungry, am I tired, am I feeling disconnected from my friends, or am I frustrated about something unrelated at work? Or, is it a sore spot between he and I because I haven’t been honest with him about a particular issue?

Being in the moment is the key to making any changes. How can we change anything if we cannot see what it is that needs to change?

Next, we set some high level goals. For this, I recommend setting 5 because more than that could get overwhelming. Don’t worry if you have more, you can write down as many as you like, but DO choose the 5 most important ones to use for your Sanity Plan.

For me, I have a laundry list of things I want to do, work on, and change about myself. The sheer number can easily overwhelm and stall me into complete inactivity. So instead, I set the following goals to prioritize change in certain areas of my life:

Work on improving the kids’ behavior (limit meltdowns, create better routines)
Strengthen my relationship with my husband (date nights, consistent co-parenting)
Make personal care a priority (sleep, exercise schedule, self-care plan)
Create organizational habits and routines (conquer my clutter bug)
Balance my work & creative projects with home life (create effective systems)

There are lots of helpful materials out there on how to set effective goals. If you are not sure, I suggest checking out this strategy or this strategy.

What’s Next?

So far, we have established Principles and Goals for our Sanity Plan. Take time to consider both, and make sure that you have chosen areas that will make the biggest impact in your life.

The next step is all about taking action. Stay tuned for Part 2, where I will cover:

Setting Specific & Timely Goals

Reviewing Your Progress Regularly

I’m looking forward to helping you work on your Sanity Plan! Part of my mission on this journey is to connect with other people interested in finding and creating balance in their lives.

What is the biggest area of your life that you would like to improve?

Setting Up My Exercise Routine

October 27, 2016 By Sara M. 9 Comments

I haven’t gotten to the goal setting part of the Sanity Plan, but I just wanted to write a quick note about one of my goals. If you’ve been reading, you may have heard me say how much I hate exercise. In fact, I often refer to exercise as an allergy of mine (along with cleaning).

But recently, it has come to a point where I simply have to address my sedentary nature. For my health, both physical and mental.

Ever since my son was born almost two years ago, I have been in significant back pain. I had a strange stabbing pain in my hip for the better part of a year from misalignment. And my upper neck and shoulders are rock hard from stress, on top of a long term injury.

I’ve done all the passive treatments I can do including chiropractic and massage, both with a therapeutic bent. This works for a short period, a couple weeks at best, before the symptoms recur.

The truth is that I am not doing any of the work needed to physical maintain any of the repairs they make.

As for my sanity, I am being constantly reminded by my reading or my therapist about the benefits of physical activity. How good it is for your brain. How good it is for being present. How good it is for balancing your hormones. Add those benefits to the fact that if regular exercise keeps me out of physical pain, it will be a winning combination.

I am not getting any younger, and I am finally ready to make a commitment to exercise. This was partially prompted by my brilliant therapist who suggested that I not enroll in a coveted writing class until I had accomplished this.

So, I’ve laid some groundwork. I have chosen two low impact activities based on what I’ve described above: yoga and swimming. I’ve decided to take classes because, knowing myself, I will be much more likely to stay committed if there is accountability.

I picked out a yoga studio very close by, reviewed the schedule, and spoke with a manager about my skill level and potential classes to take. As for swimming, my timing couldn’t be better as registration is open this week for a series that begins next week.

So there it is, my goal is out there in the world. I am going to exercise two times per week. Monday mornings for swim, and Tuesday nights for yoga.

Now I can go sign up for that writing class.

Do you incorporate exercise into your Sanity Plan? What is the biggest benefit you see?

The Sanity Plan Success Stories – A Salon for One

How to Put Your Sanity Plan into Action

Setting Specific & Timely Goals

Reviewing Your Progress Regularly

The Secret Ingredient

Making Resolutions As A Family

Why Everyone Needs a Sanity Plan & How to Create One

The Sanity Plan.

Setting Up My Exercise Routine

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Setting Specific & Timely Goals

Reviewing Your Progress Regularly

The Secret Ingredient

The Sanity Plan.

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