Thanks to all of the readers of my popular piece, Why I Became a Snowbird in my 30’s.
I responded to many of the comments, but I wanted to provide a formal update.
Unfortunately, we have had to give up snowbirding. Over the years we faced many barriers to our trips, but the biggest hurdle is the kids’ schooling.
Inflexible School Systems
During our last trip, we had to finagle a partial trip for our middle schooler, my stepdaughter, because she was only able to take 3 weeks off of school. We thought we were in pretty good shape because it was pre-approved with the school and we were told she’d be given work to do while we were away. We arranged to have her grandparents take care of her because her mother does not live locally.
When it came time to take the trip, the teachers did not have work prepared, and instead told our daughter to enjoy her vacation. Despite the pre-approval and offer to work on vacation, the teachers appeared to penalize her for the remainder of the year, even after she caught up with the rest of the class. We were extremely unhappy with this outcome and registered this worry for future trips.
Now that she is in high school, and if it were just her, we *can* resume our Florida trips because her high school offers online school. She can actually take the first semester in person, which ends around Christmas, and then participate in online school for the rest of the year. All of the high schools in our area offer this option.
Unfortunately, this is our younger daughter’s first year in elementary school. At the orientation we inquired about the possibility of a long trip to Florida in the winter. The administrator looked surprised that we’d even asked something like this; he said the only way we could do it would be to disenroll her from their school, enroll her in Florida, and then reenroll her in Pennsylvania when we returned. And honestly, it sounded too disruptive to go through all those hoops.
Just as I was preparing to write this, I did hear of another family from my area (not the same primary school, though) that actually does this. My immediate concern was how the kids adapted to that much change every year. And to my surprise, they love it. The kids have friends in both locations, and it’s been so regular that no-one even bats an eye at it now. But, I still hesitate because I don’t know if it would be good for my kids. Even during our prior trips at their very young ages, I noticed a considerable transition period both when we’d arrive and when we’d return home.
So, as you can see, the biggest problem for us is schooling. There are also a couple of housing factors that would also complicate things if we decided to do it anyways:
1) The area that we were renting in has gotten more and more expensive every year
2) We do not always rent the same house so the kids could potentially have to go to different schools. And while it would be preferable to buy a property, the higher prices would probably deter us from doing that.
3) Lack of familial support. If you’ve been reading, you know that we don’t have much in the way of family support systems. Instead, we have had to work really hard to build up our child care support networks. To confound matters, when we leave for extended periods of time, we risk our home support network while simultaneously having to build a new temporary one in Florida.
Our New Plan
I’m sorry I cannot report more success in this area because I know a number of you are considering snowbirding with kids. This past winter was really hard for my family, especially my husband. We couldn’t even take a short trip this year because we had a newborn and quite frankly, there are so many of us now. At six people, we now need two hotel rooms to be comfortable. So, around February, my husband wilted despite a couple of his business trips being in sunny locales.
As the cold season approaches again, the topic of how we are going to deal with future winters has become urgent again. One idea is to plan a pick-me-up vacation of at least 10 days in late January/early February. It has to be a sunny location, and we will stretch for even longer even if that means we send the teen home early. Because there are so many of us, we’ll be looking for an Airbnb type place so we can stay centralized in one place and cook for ourselves to offset the cost.
Secondarily, we are going to start trying some active winter trips. Living in the northeast we are within driving distance from many ski resorts so we are going to take some weekend trips to keep up our activity level despite the cold.
And lastly, we’ve all begun to take a supplemental Vitamin D. I learned that we simply do not get enough vitamin D from the sun in our area so a daily supplement can help boost energy levels. I’ve also purchased my husband a sun lamp that he can use in his office to increase his intake of vitamin D.
I’ll let you know how each of these things turn out. I wish there were easier ways to manage schooling for those of us that prefer to snowbird for our health. I can only hope that school systems will become more flexible in the future, and I am looking forward to the later years when our highschoolers will have more flexibility.
One Last Note on Homeschooling
The next obvious question is… if school is the problem, why don’t we homeschool our children?
And the truth of the matter is that we (I mean “I”) could. But, after spending the last six years with my children, I have come to the conclusion that our children would do better in a traditional school setting. I think this is a result of the blend of personalities (including my own) and the ages of each member. Plus, having the children in the home day in and day out makes it difficult for my husband to concentrate on his business. I am open to homeschooling the children as they mature and progress in their education if I am able to test that our learning relationship improves.
I wish I had better news for those of you interested in forging your own path for your family instead the the typical one. I’d love to hear success stories in the comments if you have found a way to make this work for you!
A 2017 Review
Am I?
It’s pretty typical that I compare my shortcomings to other mothers’ accomplishments. One day my husband was describing in full detail watching his grandmother make pies from scratch, painstakingly crafting and rolling out the pie crust by hand. I listened intently as he reminisced about the unbelievable buttery taste, superior to any store-bought creation that passes as dessert today. To which I remarked, “I don’t know how mothers used to have time to do that.” I have NEVER EVER made any pie crust by hand. It simply would take too much time (and require more patience and skill than I currently possess). But it’s not just the baking, it’s the stories of mothers who sewed clothes for their children, ironed their husband’s shirts, grew their own fruits and vegetables, made every meal from scratch, and on and on.
When I consider these and other jobs I maintain, it’s easier to see why I am ALWAYS feeling behind on my domestic tasks. I mean, there’s also the fact that I don’t particularly like cleaning and organizing. But when I add up all the hours spent on traditionally non-SAHM tasks, I can see where my husband is coming from.
And no, I don’t mean your gas tank (although that’s probably a good idea as well).
Personal
I picked up Tiffany Dufu’s book “Drop the Ball” on a whim during my last trip to the library. With an endorsement on the front from Sheryl Sandberg and a foreword penned by Gloria Steinem, I figured this book was worth a read. And I am very glad I took the chance. This is the first book I’ve read in quite some time where I felt like I was learning something new on every page and it even inspired me to write pages of notes and reactions (like I was back in school all over again!).
“Drop the Ball” is filled with practical advice on how to go about obtaining better balance between career and home life. I love how Dufu addresses the problem here, instead of blaming society or men for this problem, she focuses on how women need to be assertive to push back against these gender norms.
I wonder how many people set goals and then completely forget about them? I am completely guilty of that this year. I actually had to look back at this 
My goals were: to transition to a career in writing and completely destress. Looking back at the past 6 months, I can definitely see how I’ve lost motivation when it comes to writing. First of all, I was sick until well into the second trimester, which really made it difficult to be creative and stay committed to writing. Secondarily, I am really up in the air about whether I actually want to have a freelance “career.” As I told my husband recently, I do see myself as a writer, I have always been a writer, and now that I’ve rediscovered the passion it will always be a part of my life. BUT, I am not sure it will be my everything. That said, I really do need to get in gear on my children’s book idea as well as fleshing out two new ideas I have for non-fiction books.
Life can really throw you off track sometimes. When I started this blog last year, I was making plans and taking steps to explore a potential career in writing. I thought our family life had stabilized and I could begin to work on myself again.
To recap my priorities: running my household and caring for the kids, followed by my investments, followed by my writing. And honestly, I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I don’t have time for much else. That doesn’t mean I won’t be making plans to see my friends or exercise or just relaxing. I just needed to get my head clear on how much time I really have during the day and what is the most important to me. I’ve spent many years since becoming a mother feeling stretched too thin across too many areas, feeling so divided that I wasn’t performing my best at any of them.
I met the owner of our next success story online. I was inspired by her commitment towards developing the career she wanted, even if that meant trying out many things until she found what worked. Here is Carrie’s Sanity Plan:
I’ve wanted to work from home since the moment I became a mom four years ago. I remember sitting in our little apartment during maternity leave and deciding to check my work email. Our new baby was sleeping next to me as I logged in. I had just had her, but when I checked my email, I noticed one that said, “only 2 weeks until Carrie gets back!” I just sat there staring at my computer trying to process that. I had just had a baby! I quickly pulled up a calendar and realized I had indeed already been home with her for 10 weeks. Well, you know what happens next. I immediately burst into tears and decided to make a change.
Time blocking – I now have a weekly schedule with chunks of time for all of my projects. This has saved me so much time. Each time I have work time (during kindergarten and nap time), I know exactly what I need to do, so I don’t waste time feeling overwhelmed. On Mondays I edit and write outlines. Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays are for billable client work. On Wednesdays, I work on my blog and shoot a Facebook live video.
As I continue to work on my 
I was a little apprehensive for my first visit because I’d really enjoyed the ambiance of the previous salon. But the experience was actually so much better for me, without the chaos and the noise, and we easily continued our ongoing conversation. It was private and cozy, offering a very different feel than I was used to.