You know that day when you finally realize that it might not be that good of an idea to take the kids out on a non-kid related adventure?
Well, today was that day for us.
As parents, we’ve been busy beating our heads against the wall for years now, thinking that at some point our kids will just get to the point where we can have an enjoyable time out. And occasionally we do, but honestly, there have been more hard times than good when it comes to dinners, shopping, or similar type outings.
My husband and I were up late last night, sitting in bed enjoying a kid free quiet moment, trying to come up with a plan that would work. We (the adults and especially the teen) wanted to do a day trip to a local coastal town about an hour away. We’ve gone every time we’ve come to Florida, so it feels like a tradition. But the two-year-old has entered into an increasingly difficult phase, complete with daily tantrums. The four-year-old would likely be reasonably behaved, but if she misses her nap all bets are off.
We considered our options.
My vote was for: get the kids super tired in the morning, feed them lunch, and then load into the car around 1pm and head down, hoping they would sleep in the car. The potential problems with that plan would be a) oldest wouldn’t nap, and b) youngest wouldn’t get enough of a nap.
Hubby was for: let the kids have their normal morning and naps, leaving around 4pm. Potential problem with that is a) that there wouldn’t be enough daytime left for exploring and b) the restaurants would be more crowded for dinner, limiting our chances of finding a kid-friendly situation.
We were stuck, both sticking to our favorite ideas and not wanting to disappoint the teen, who had her heart pretty set on going. I finally came up with the idea that if we went on the earlier side, we could just have a contingency plan in place. We would have to be willing to leave at any point if it simply was not working.
We awoke ready to execute the plan this morning AND THERE WAS NOTHING BUT DRAMA. The little ones were fighting with each other from the moment they woke up. Screaming over toys. Chasing each other around the house. I ushered them to the park for a couple hours to get out their energy. It didn’t work. The little man had a meltdown when we left the park and then a second one on his way from the car to the house when we got home.
It was the moment when I dragged the screaming and kicking toddler into the house (filthy from head to toe because he’d decided to rub dirt all over himself at the park) that it finally dawned on me that the odds of us having a good time were slim. Even with the contingency plan, it just didn’t seem worth it to drive for an hour only to have to turn around and head home when (not if) either kid misbehaved.
Better to head it off at the pass. Even the teen agreed that it would be better to sit this one out.
And there are plenty of other things to do that would increase our odds of having a good time. It’s just taken us a long time to finally give up on the idea that we can’t do everything we used to be able to do pre-kids.
Do you still try to do the things you used to do before kids? Do you end up regretting your decision when you try and the kids misbehave?
Definitely best just to accept that life as you know it, no longer exists. It’s not worse, just different.
this sounds familiar! we have 5 kids from 16-1
I totally agree; sometimes its just easier to stay home! life with kids is definitely an adjustment
It certainly is different. At times, I for sure get annoyed that we have to consider ALL of the circumstances, but I would rather have to consider them than not have the kiddos : )
Yes! Kids cramp our style for sure!! Everything that used to seem easy is all of a sudden complicated!
Hahah I’ve kind of given up on having any sense or what was before I had kids. I love this post!
Yep… what’s the saying “man plans, God laughs”? I hope that you are able to get to a town another time. 🙂
There’s definitely a give and take with children. My husband and I don’t do everything we did before kids, but overall we’re pretty good. The truth is, we’re a lot more tired than we were before kids, so we end up not wanting to do all that other stuff anyway! Lol It’s the kiddos fault.
I love shopping but kids make it difficult. My oldest two hate tagging along and the younger two have meltdowns. I get ready, put on make up do my hair all that jazz just to end up with juice stains on my clothes before we leave the house or as soon as we get there. Mommy swag!
Oh my goodness! I am so with you – and we only have one right now. It’s finding the balance between teaching them to behave in public situations for normal periods of time, but knowing that can be unrealistic at times too. Thanks for sharing & reminding us all we aren’t alone! haha
Oh man. This is so my life. Kids definitely change things. That being said, my husband and I still do a fair amount of traveling and such with our kids, but our expectations have had to change about what kinds of things we will do and the pace at which we are able to go. Good luck! I have a two-year-old and four-year-old who are wonderful, but they definitely give me a run for my money. 🙂
I can totally relate! I’m torn…sometimes I’d rather find family friendly activities. My hubby would rather not deal with the public chaos of taking kids to everything we like to do…but we love the park and theme parks. 🙂
You go for trying girl! Although less, we definitely still try to do these things. Sometimes they work out, sometimes they don´t. Oh well… Thanks for linking up at Working Mommy Abroad! Sharing 🙂