TheSanityPlan

Solutions for finding balance in this crazy world

The Sanity Plan Principles Part 1– Being Present

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Welcome to the part one of The Sanity Plan Principles series. The first principle is:

 

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What is Being Present?

Being present, often referred to as mindfulness, is the act of focusing your thoughts on the here and now. To do so is to cultivate a deep, nonjudgmental awareness of your thoughts, external objects/people, or your position in space.

I believe that presence of mind is the fundamental principle before all of the other principles. It is the groundwork that one must do in order to live your life with purpose.

 

How do you become aware?

Presence of mind is a skill that must be learned. And practiced. In this modern life there are endless distractions that pull us away from true experience. We must work diligently to keep them at bay.

There are tons of good resources on how to become more mindful, here are a couple of my favorites:

Deepak Chopra

Leo Babauta

 

How does being present help us?

Being present enhances our internal and external viewpoints. Becoming conscious of your thoughts as you have them sets you on a path of self-discovery. Collecting data from what other people say and the facial expressions they make allows us to better understand their actions and needs. Becoming aware of our place in society and this world helps us to navigate in this world and push for changes wherever needed.

Without awareness, we cannot see what needs to change.

 

My experience

680x450-feetBeing present is equally hard to maintain and important to do. As you may have read in some of my essays, I have been through quite a bit between my parent’s divorce, my mother’s mental illness, my relationship with my stepmom, my special needs kids, etc.

I have to fight really hard to remain present. And when I’m not, the lack of mindfulness definitely takes a toll on my life. I feel very alone, cut off from the people I love and the experiences we are sharing.

The most helpful tactic for me is to feel my surroundings. Feel the steadiness of the ground beneath my feet. Feel the surfaces of tables, walls, or whatever is in my environment. Next, I focus my mind on what other people are saying. I ignore my own inner thoughts, which tend to be loud. It takes a lot of practice, but is easy to maintain once you get rolling.

 

What methods do you use in order to achieve presence of mind? How does it help you to restore Sanity in your life?

 

Next principle: Discover Yourself

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When PPD Doesn’t “Look” Like Depression

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The tail end of my pregnancy with my son was a whirlwind. When a preterm labor scare had my doctor predicting he’d be early, I was ready to deliver him as soon as he would be healthy. I was so tired of being pregnant and sick (for years); this little man had sapped whatever energy remained. My exhaustion was so intense that I could barely manage my almost two-year-old daughter. I was certain that I never wanted to be pregnant again.

When he finally arrived one week late (so much for being early or even on time), everything changed. His birth was easier than my first: I felt more comfortable, I was less scared, I even kind of knew what to do and expect.

680x450-newbornv2His sweet smell, his littleness: here again was another amazing creature my husband and I had created.

All of the sudden I didn’t want him to be my last. I was devastated to think this would be my last birth experience. All those months of wanting him out were erased. The feeling overwhelmed me. It consumed me.

I felt as though the story were ending. As if I was closing the door on a beautiful era of my life, the part where you make and deliver beautiful babies. When my doctor came to do his circumcision, I could barely handle the sadness of feeling like we were saying goodbye. That I would no longer need his loving council as I nurture my young. That I would never come to this hospital again to have my babies and be supported by amazing nurses. Because there would be no more.

I knew this intense response could be birth hormones. I would give it time. It wasn’t as if I wanted to take any action on those thoughts just yet.

But it never faded. It went on strong for more than a year.

It grew and morphed and changed over that time.

But I never knew it was post-partum depression. You see, for me, it always felt like an overpowering sort of love. That the bad feelings were a byproduct of the intense joy of being a mother of another brand new baby.

There was definitely sadness. I was desperate to consume each moment with my son because it would be the last time I went through “x.” The last first smiles, the last falling asleep in your arms, the last first crawl or walk. I could never really acknowledge the depth of the pain I was feeling because it was masked by this disproportionate feeling of happiness. It was as though the two feelings were so deeply intertwined that I could not tell them apart. The pain and sadness mixed with joy and love. I could literally feel the time slipping away; I could not will it to slow down.

The other feeling I knew I felt, was anger. I was angry at my husband. I was angry at life. These were the things that we going to keep me from being able to have another baby.

pinterest-lookingwavesOur daughter became even more challenging when our son was born. She hated him for taking me away from her. And our son was an extremely difficult baby. He pretty much screamed for the first year. Blood curdling, cover your ears kind of screaming. I was barely able to handle the two of them together because they mostly had to be separated. Our families pulled away. It nearly broke us.

I was angry because the kids were difficult. I was angry because my husband couldn’t handle them and because he withdrew. I was angry that we had no family or support network. If our situation had been even slightly better, maybe it would have been an option for us to have another baby.

I was fixated. Everything hinged on whether I could have another baby. I worked tirelessly to improve our daily routines to try to prove that we could do it. I tried everything in my power to get the kids under control. Nothing worked. And the harder I tried, the more I clamped down on them, the worse everyone got. One day I would be in the depths of despair feeling like I just couldn’t handle parenting, and the next morning would go smoothly and I’d want to get pregnant.

I was so confused. It never “felt like” depression. In fact, it felt like almost every other feeling combined, but no depression. I just got up every day and did what needed to be done. Who else was going to do it?

After a year, it started to fade. The drive for another child became less intense and I felt better. It coincided with my daughter being diagnosed with sensory processing disorder, and then we came to understand that my son had it as well. It explained so much. He began to scream a little less. We all started to get better.

We went to therapy, started talking about our true feelings again. That is when I realized I probably had experienced post-partum depression. My therapist agreed. I hadn’t even considered it a possibility since I didn’t have it with my daughter. It was already gone by the time I realized.

I wish I had known. And that is why I am telling you.

It can take so many different shapes. It can be any birth, no matter the order. It can be disguised by good feelings. It can be intermittent. Reach out. Get help. Motherhood is hard.

Loving Lazy Days

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I love lazy days. I think it’s a mixture for me. Part of it is my sedentary nature, and my love of homebody habits like reading and writing and relaxing. The other part is that our lives are so busy, that a break from the go-go-go, rush-rush-rush is such a relief.

The best are the days where you have zero obligations. We try to schedule at least one weekend day like this. Where you can sit around in your pajamas all day if you wish. No rushing to get ready, get the kids ready, get out of the house, and be to a certain place by a certain time.

It’s a day where you can put your to-do list aside. Follow your inspiration to do whatever feels right, and spare yourself the guilt trip if you don’t get anything done at all. Give yourself a break from that constant drive of productivity and accomplishment.

680x450-relaxThis is “living” too. Breathing, relaxing, letting your shoulders down, and your stress drip away. This is here. This is now. We are not machines.

I love enjoying free time to play with the kids, with no urge to do anything else at the same time. Or feeling pulled to wrap it up so I can go get something done.

I love giving my brain a rest. Slowing my thoughts down, not thinking about anything important at all. Getting a reprieve from being “on” all the time.

This is so good for the kids as well. You can tell they are weary from the week. The constant movement and timelines. School and daycare and errands to run.

“Hurry up, we’re going to be late…”

“Hustle, hustle.”

“Let’s get moving…”

Not today. Today is sacred. Today we will do nothing. Eat when we are hungry. Sleep if we are tired. Slow down. Read. Relax. Recharge.

5 Sweet Treats for Grown Up Cravings

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This post is inspired by the lovely twin mamas over at KLINWIN.

When I am on the healthy lifestyle bandwagon (ahem, trying to slim down wagon), I need every trick I can to satisfy those cravings for sweets and junky foods. Here are my current go to snacks:

 

  1. 680-kitsorganicKit’s Organic Fruit & Nut Bar (180 calories)

This is my number one favorite thing to snack on. Why? It has zero sugar added. The bar is date based so it is plenty sweet without adding any sugar. In my opinion, the unsweetened chocolate is actually the strongest flavor and you might not even realize there are dates in it. And, it has nuts for protein.

  1. Santa Cruz Cinnamon Apple Sauce Cups (60 calories)

I love to eat one of these after dinner when I am craving a desert. Again, no added sugar and the cinnamon adds a little extra flavor. I alternate this version with the apricot version if I need something to help me stay regular (if you know what I mean). I buy these on Amazon subscribe & save to get 15% off.

  1. raspberry-fig-bars-6pk-1Nature’s Bakery Fig Bars (220 calories)

A healthy version “Fig Newton.” There are tons of different flavors available. They are Vegan, Kosher, and Non-GMO verified. They are nut free for the school snack that can’t have nuts. They also have a gluten-free version (although we prefer the original).

  1. Siggi’s 4% Milkfat Yogurt (120 calories)

This yogurt is low in sugar so if you are used to sweet yogurts, you will likely need to add fresh fruit or a small amount of sugar to sweeten until you get used to it. Great dessert alternative.

  1. Chocolove Peppermint Dark Chocolate (27 calories per square)

Who doesn’t like chocolate? This version is great because it is dark, and contains essential peppermint oils which are very calming for me at the end of the night. I can eat no less than 3, so I have to take that into consideration! They do also have mini bars which would help for those days when self-control is low.

 

Do you have snacks that help satisfy your sweet tooth? I’d love to hear what works for you!

 

TheSanityPlan is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. All products recommended are used personally by us and opinions about them are our own.

Are You Ready to Dig Deep?

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I had a great meeting with my therapist a few weeks ago. I am a huge believer in therapy (it’s a part of my Sanity Plan), and I have been through many different series and styles in my life.

680x450-pensivewomanThe Story

Reflecting on my history of therapy, I have been feeling as though I’ve always addressed my life in fragments. There was typically one triggering event, so I would seek help, and deal with that particular event.

But now that having young children has triggered both old and new issues (don’t all mothers of young children lose their minds?), I decided to sit down and do some work with a counselor on my whole life. I wanted a holistic view of my characteristics, struggles, pain points, and scars. The idea was that this evaluation will better prepare me for the next situation that I encounter, even if it is something I have never navigated.

So, she asked for the list. And boy, there was a list.

I filled up the whole session just rambling off the “stories” of my life. And I could have gone on for hours. A mixture of childhood hurts, abandonment issues, unstable family life, extreme loneliness, betrayal, teen rebellion, bad influences, bad relationships, mental illness, you name it, it’s in there.

I had surprisingly few feelings when rattling off that way in list format. As if all of those things had happened to someone else, instead of me.

The Question

And when I was done, she looked at me very seriously and said,

“What I tell all my patients before embarking on a journey of this kind, is that you need to decide if you are really ready. I mean, really ready.

Because this is going to be hard work.”

She scheduled me for two weeks, and sent me home to think about it.

In all my years of therapy, this was the first time anyone had ever put it to me that way. I mean, it made immediate sense. In the past, it had always been triggered by necessity. But now it was up to me to make a choice to dig down really deep, and come to understand myself in a new way. A holistic way.

So, I pondered it. A lot.

The Answer

450x680-sadbabySurprisingly. My answer was actually “no.” No, I am not ready to tear myself apart and rebuild right now. The biggest reason is the kids. They need me right now, they need me to help them learn how to communicate and regulate the overwhelming emotions of toddlerhood.

I just can’t fall apart right now. I don’t have the luxury of being able to stay in bed all day to nurse a broken heart. I have people that rely on me and a limited support network.

So, the big picture will be tabled for now. And we’ve agreed to deal with things as they come up. I will focus primarily on being the best mom I can to my toddlers and stepdaughter and the best wife I can be to my hardworking husband.

And it’s okay. If there is anything I know about myself, it’s that my past will be there when I choose to visit it again. Unless it visits me first.

Who can you rely on to help keep you sane?

The Sanity Plan – 10 Principles to Live By

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680x450-writingOne of the best ways to stay focused on improving your life is to define a set of principles to live by. These principles then become the default for when you are not sure on a decision or path to take.

Here are the principles we use to guide us along our Sanity Plan (not sure what a Sanity Plan is? Click here). Each highlighted principle has a linked post explaining it in further detail.

  1. Be present – This above all else. Presence of mind is the key to all the remaining principles; without awareness, one is perpetually stuck in a reactive state of being.
  2. Discover yourself – Be on a “journey of self-discovery.” Self-knowledge will aid in making better decisions based on your unique needs.
  3. Build your network – We cannot do this alone. If you don’t have a built in support network of family and friends, build your own.
  4. Forge close relationships – Worthwhile relationships are as important as food and water. Get past the surface and give more of yourself.
  5. Be solution oriented – Become aware of the problems you face, and take steps to find a better way to tackle each one. Implement on the spot, if possible.
  6. Control your inputs – We are a living in a sea of information and stimulation. Be conscious of creating a filter based on your values.
  7. Create systems – Recurring tasks should be automated to reduce workload.
  8. Reduce obligations/Simplify – Obligations eat away at the balance you are trying to create in your life. Accommodate them sparingly.
  9. Honor your body – Your body is going to carry you through this life. Nourish it with real food, good sleep, and exercise.
  10. Give back – Complete the cycle. As you receive the fruits of your journey, share them with someone else who needs a hand.

I will be covering each of these principles in a separate post, and use them as recurring themes as well. Be sure to follow to join in the conversation!

Would you add anything to this list? What principles do you live by that help keep your life sane?

Amazing Perspectives on Womanhood I Learned from My Husband

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Some of the most beautiful ideas about my womanhood came from an unexpected source: my husband.

Mr. Sanity didn’t have the best life teachers, but for some reason he came up with some incredible ways to look at life all on his own. He’s just “made of the right stuff.” And I’m the lucky girl he chose to share those perspectives with every day.

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Now I’ve put my favorite ones together to share with you:

My perspective: Periods are GROSS

His perspective: Your body is doing what it is supposed to do. He will actually get into the whole process of how I’m shedding the lining that would have supported a new life but wasn’t needed this time around. He reminds me of the core purpose of the process, that it is a beautiful thing that only a woman’s body can do.

 

My perspective: PMS turns me into a crazy person

His perspective: He doesn’t particularly enjoy my increased emotionality and irrationality just before I get my period. However, he has given me the biggest pass of all. What he pointed out was that just because the emotions were heightened in my premenstrual state, doesn’t mean that the underlying issue that was bothering me wasn’t real. And hey, men have fluctuations in moods and emotions as well, the cycles are just shorter (daily).

 

My perspective: I have WAY too much hair on my body

His perspective: Some hair is sexy. Wait, what? He actually finds the super light peach fuzz on my cheeks/jawline/cleavage/butt to be incredibly sexy. I never would have considered this, and have spent many years like most women, fretting about and removing unwanted hair.

 

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My perspective: My body is too squishy; my thighs are too big

His perspective: (caution: he’s biased) I am the most beautiful woman alive. He thinks my curves are my best feature and women with less meat on their bones look too thin to him. He also helps me put my own body image issues into perspective. I will often point out to him that I’m so much larger than so-and-so and he helps me see reality.

 

My perspective: I have to get made up to be beautiful

His perspective: I look sexy in anything, including sweatpants. (Although I have yet to test just how far down into disheveled I can go before it’s too far!) I am his wife and he sees my beauty regardless of what I wear. I tend to feel a bit frumpy because I so often don’t wear makeup and other women put a bit more effort into being put together.

He always reminds me that I don’t need makeup to be beautiful.

 

680x450-bathingsuit

My perspective: Thongs are sexy (less is more)

His perspective: He actually prefers full coverage underwear. No, not granny panties, but just normal full bottomed undies. He actually finds them sexier, in addition to the fact that he thinks thongs look uncomfortable to wear all wedged up there.

 

My perspective: My body could use a few upgrades

His perspective: Women look best with their original equipment. He always points out how natural hair color is the best complement to natural skin color. He insists that breast size never mattered to him, and that most men he’s known feel the same way. (So much for that post breast feeding lift I’ve been considering.)

Sorry ladies, you can’t have him. But I hope his perspectives have given you a boost – because you are all wonderful, just the way you are.

680x450-peacefulwoman

What Does Sanity Mean to You?

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pinterest-yogaAccording to Merriam-Webster, the simple definition of Sanity is:

: the condition of having a healthy mind

: the condition of being based on reason or good judgment

Since our mission is Sanity, our first step on the journey is to define what it means to us. Everyone will have a slightly different definition based on their own needs and experiences. For example, what makes one person feel calm might make another person feel anxious.

Here is what Sanity looks like to me:

Calm and peaceful

Calmness and quiet moments are nourishing for me. My favorite activities are often solo, with minimal distractions. I love to find a quiet corner to read or write. I look forward to driving alone in the car, with the radio off, to have uninterrupted time to think. With the chaos of having young kids and a busy household, it is critical for me to have alone time, quiet time, and down time. It is this time that allows me to recharge and better navigate the more stressful demands of parenting and life.

Smooth and systematic

Functional plans and systems keep me sane. Doesn’t it feel great when things go according to plan? Those are the days when I feel like the stars just line up. When the kids take a nap at the same time and I am able to get work done without anyone hanging on me or interrupting me every 3 minutes. Regular and recurring tasks must be automated wherever possible to ease the workload.

Close and connected

Strong relationships are incredibly important to me. My husband is my best friend, and I don’t feel right when we are at odds. I am working on developing friendships with people who also have young kids because I need that camaraderie. I also keep up with my own family regularly, they provide an additional layer of emotional support.

680x450-reading2Balanced

This one is a hard one. Finding and maintaining the right balance. Many of our obligations cannot be changed, so it is hard to make time for everything that needs to be done. I must balance between my family’s needs and my own. I must balance between work for others and time spent on my own creative ventures. I must balance work and play.

Having high level goals helps prioritize time allocated to each area of my life.

Grounded

I feel my best when I am present. I often have to remind myself where my feet are, to feel the ground beneath them. Putting my life and my responsibilities into a greater perspective keeps my thoughts sensible and rational.

It will be important to define what Sanity looks like for you as we go through the process of building a Sanity Plan. Take time to reflect on when you feel your best. Consider the times in your life when your mind is most clear. Describe the activities that make you feel the most refreshed, recharged, and ready to fight your daily battles.

This visualization will become the guiding compass for the goals we set in our Sanity Plan.

Remember, Sanity is defined as a condition, a state of being. Not a few fleeting moments here and there.

Join this series to learn how to build your Sanity Plan:

680x450-peacefulwoman

Our Teen’s Friends Labeled Us “The Healthy House”

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pinterest-greenbeans
It’s true, we eat healthy. But I never really understood how other people see us until I had a house full of bubbly girls over for our teen’s 13th birthday party. As they gathered around the center island munching chips and salsa and veggies and dip, I heard the commentary about how we’d been designated as “The Healthy House.” It wasn’t particularly snarky, just a statement of fact with a slight bit of teasing for good measure. But there were a lot of raised eyebrows when I pulled out the Cheetos and cookies. It was a birthday party…

Healthy Habits

Honestly, I have never really considered how other people see our eating habits. We have been on a mission for the past decade to improve our eating. We try to be more conscious about what we consume. It started with eliminating fast food chains. I will make an exception for Panera, but recently I’ve been pulling back on that because of the high calorie meals and sweet temptations. We do eat a decent local pizza about once per week. What teen (or adult) could live without pizza every now and then?

I try not to buy too many snack foods either. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE Fritos, Cheezits, Cheetos, Mac’N’Cheese, Captain Crunch, Lucky Charms, etc. But if I buy anything of this nature, every single person in the house will rummage past all the fresh fruit and vegetables and eat that first (including me!).

What do we eat instead? Grilled meats, steamed veggies, fresh fruits, whole grain breads and bars, low sugar cereal, nuts, full fat milk and yogurt, etc. Plenty of butter and unprocessed salt. And dark chocolate. I always sprinkle in a little junk here and there so we don’t feel too deprived. You can read more of our food rules here.

680x450-healthybreakfast

How Other People See Us

It never occurred to me that my teen would be identified as a healthy eater. What she packs for lunch is normal to us, but apparently her classmates find it odd. She brings PBJ’s on whole wheat bread with water, sliced cucumbers or carrots, and no sugar applesauce. Or, she’ll make herself a salad.

When I talked to her about it, she laughed. She listed off the things her friends bring to school: several packages of Tastykakes, sandwiches on white bread, and sugary fruit drinks to name a few. And yes, I was shocked. Horrified actually! How can these girls study and concentrate if they don’t have real food to feed their brains?

But I am very aware of making sure my daughter is not singled out for our crazy habits. It’s hard enough being at a new school with new friends in a new area without being labeled as different, or worse, weird. I remember what that was like as my parents had plenty of different ideas about life.

So, I offered to buy her some junk food.

Was she feeling deprived?

Does it bother her that we eat so healthily?

To my surprise, it didn’t bother her at all. She likes the way we eat and doesn’t mind being different. After all, to a teen girl, being “The Healthy House” isn’t the worst label we could have. For now, that is.

Get to Know Your Trouble Spots

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680x450-woman-thinking-3To quote my mother, a.k.a. Lady Jane, I am on a journey of self-discovery.

And what do I need to know about myself? I need to know the areas where I tend to struggle, fall short, and get stuck. Equipped with that self-awareness, I can practice better strategies for coping when I find myself in those positions.

In mid-August, I was definitely in a rough patch. My anxiety and stress were through the roof, and when I am stressed I become cranky and angry. At everything. All the time. Which in turn, makes it miserable for everyone in my robust family of 5.

It took about a week for me to stop and figure out what it was, which tells me two things. One, I am out of practice (likely due to the chaos that comes with raising toddlers). Two, the level of stress was so high it was very difficult to calm down long enough to get clarity on what was actually going on below the surface.

But when I finally touched on the answer, it all made sense to me.

#1 Trouble Spot – I HATE Making Decisions

Not sure exactly where this comes from, but when I am faced with a lot of decisions to make or a single hard decision to make, I fall apart. The act of making a decision is arduous for me. I toss and turn and toil and rethink and second guess, and by the time it’s over I’ve exhausted myself and anyone who took pity on me to listen. At the core, I’m scared I will make the wrong decision.

In August, I was faced with several serious decisions. The first one was that we were losing our summer childcare help, and needed to hire someone new. In particular, I needed to decide if we were going to continue sending our 3 ½ year old daughter to daycare, while also pursuing in home care for the 20 month old. The idea of the double expense was killing me, but our daughter has gotten so much socialization out of school that it seemed necessary. And then, there was the whole interview process and trying to decide what traits I wanted in a new nanny, etc. Hello decision overload.

The next biggie was my rental property. Purchasing this condo was one of the worst decisions I have made in my life (will definitely cover in a full post), and it continues to be a drain on our resources but we are too far underwater to sell it. My previous tenant moved out, leaving us with ruined floors, urine damage, and a disgusting mess. Being that it is my property prior to our marriage (and I’m a tad picky about how things get done), my husband defers to me for how I want to handle it. Hello decision overload.

The last major one was my choice, but still required a ton of decisions. It was starting this blog. I am not sure I would have even started the blog if I had known how much work and learning goes into it. And decisions! Technical decisions, design decisions, content decisions, marketing decisions, etc. All for good, but for someone like me who toils over each and every decision, it was extremely stressful.

#2 Trouble Spot – I Have Major Money Buttons

I was raised in a very cost conscious family. The pressure to conserve money was so great in my childhood that I have an extremely hard time breaking free of those chains today. I struggle to spend money even on items that one would consider a necessity. Whenever money is involved, it adds another layer that further complicates my decision making process.

In each of the examples above, there is a money component. The cost of daycare, and the cost of a nanny. For my condo, because the apartment was in such disrepair, it could not even be shown until after the tenant vacated. Which meant I couldn’t even list it until it was acceptable to show to prospective tenants. Each day that ticked by had a dollar figure attached. And the blog, while in total it wasn’t super expensive to launch, I was still stressed because it was an investment that may not ever be returned. Heaven forbid I waste money doing something fun!

#3 Trouble Spot – I Struggle When Learning Something New

In general, I love new experiences. But when it comes to learning a new process or a heavily technical process, I really stall out. I have very little patience for those early periods of “not getting it” or when a supposedly simple process takes a long time. It’s as if I want to be an instant expert at everything, even if I’ve never even tried it before. Yes, you can laugh now at how ridiculous that sounds – but I bet lots of people feel this way. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by the fact that most things have come very easily to me so I never developed the perseverance needed to tackle hard tasks.

Starting thesanityplan.com was the perfect storm of learning something new, spending money, and making tons of decisions. I wouldn’t go back and change it, however, when I keep my particular trouble spots at the forefront, I can tackle them faster. And once I’ve identified the issue that’s coming up, it brings the whole situation into better perspective. I can remind myself that these struggles come from my childhood, they are old habits, and I do get through them every time.

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