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How to Put Your Sanity Plan into Action

January 2, 2017 By Sara M. 20 Comments

Now that we have established the basis for our Sanity Plan, it is time to take some action. If you missed our first discussion, you can catch up here.

So far, we’ve covered the 10 Sanity Plan Principles and discussed setting Sanity Plan Goals for 5 areas of your life that need improvement. I highlighted the importance of not trying to change everything at once in order to avoid getting further overwhelmed. I am a huge proponent of making a plan that is simple and achievable, otherwise it is hard to stay motivated.

I will use my own goals as an example:

Work on improving the kids’ behavior (limit meltdowns, create better routines)
Strengthen my relationship with my husband (date nights, consistent co-parenting)
Make personal care a priority (sleep, exercise schedule, self-care plan)
Create organizational habits and routines (conquer my clutter bug)
Balance my work & creative projects with home life (create effective systems)

Setting Specific & Timely Goals

Using the areas I’ve targeted above, I can now set specific goals that will help me take steps towards improvement.

Why is it important to be specific? General goals, as in the ones above, do not give a clear enough outline of the steps needed to achieve them. I have had these goals for quite some time, but without setting specific goals to accomplish, I have not improved as much as I’ve wanted to.

Why is it important to give yourself a timeline? I don’t know about you, but when I don’t have a timeline, it takes a long time for me to get to a task, if at all. Creating a deadline for myself helps me organize my schedule around certain tasks I know I need to do.

I’ve been thinking a lot about The Sanity Plan (can you tell?) and I’ve decided to set weekly goals each Monday. Here are my goals for this week and an explanation of my thought process for each:

Kid’s routines: Strengthen the daily morning routine consisting of getting dressed, brushing teeth, eating breakfast, packing lunch, cleaning up from breakfast all before 8:30 am (in that order).

I am choosing this goal because we have a pretty good evening routine, but the mornings feel disorganized. And when it feels disorganized, I start my morning on the wrong foot: stressed and grumpy.

2. Quality hubby time: Watch a movie together after the kids go to bed.

Sounds like a simple goal, but for me, I always have so much catching up to do when the kids go to bed that I feel like I can’t take the time. But for my husband, watching a movie is a great wind down activity, and he especially enjoys when we do it together.

3. Personal care: Incorporate doorway pectoral stretches into my daily lunch routine.

Stress and working long hours in front of a computer are causing pain in my neck and back. I was recently shown some stretches that will help combat the heavy forward leaning while I work. I will do this midday as a reminder to pay attention to my posture.

4. Organization: Set up the kids’ artwork filing systems.

I made a decision on the organization system I want to use for my kids’ growing pile of artwork. Now, I need to put it all together and figure out an easily accessible home for it so I can add to it throughout the year. Don’t worry, I will write it up as a post coming soon!

5. Work/Life Balance: Finish setting my 2017 writing goals.

I am very lucky to be working with a writing coach this year and my first deliverable is a three-pronged plan for my writing. This actually fits very nicely into my overall plan of developing a freelance career while maintaining good balance with the rest of my responsibilities.

Reviewing Your Progress Regularly

This is often where I fall short when goal setting. Some goals fall by the wayside because I haven’t put a good system in place for reviewing my progress.

So, when I sit down to write my goals each week, I am adding a “review” of the prior week’s goals to the process. I will consider the following:

Did I complete them all?

Where did I fall short?

What barriers did I encounter?

Did I set the “right” goals?

The Secret Ingredient

What is the secret ingredient, you ask? Accountability. Yes, definitely, we must hold ourselves accountable, but our “selves” also provide a lot of reasons and excuses for not getting done what we need to. One idea is to share your goals with a friend who wants to work on a Sanity Plan together.

Or, follow along with me. Every Monday, I am going to post my weekly goals, as well as a review of how I did during the prior week.

I’m looking forward to a simpler, saner life.

Are you ready?

Why Everyone Needs a Sanity Plan & How to Create One

December 17, 2016 By Sara M. 9 Comments

The Sanity Plan.

What comes to your mind when you read those words?

If I’m correct, most of you already have an idea of what that means. When I mention working on my Sanity Plan, most people tend to nod their head like they intuitively know what I’m talking about.

Why Everyone Should Have a Sanity Plan

I look around me all the time and see the blur of people hurrying, rushing, and trying to get it all done. I see lots of commitments being made, piled up to-do lists, and work with no end in sight. Everyone I know is in high gear. What I don’t see, is people taking time for themselves. Making a plan and carving out space for some sanity in their lives.

This is so important. We can say that we want a break, complain about being overwhelmed and overworked, but nothing is going to happen until we prioritize our well-being.

I’m speaking from experience here, I have 3 kids ranging from 2 to 13 years old. I’m juggling part time work for a startup, managing a rental property, and I help support my husband’s business. I have all the telltale signs of modern life, mountainous piles of laundry, and a to-do list a mile long. You can read more of my story here.

The Goal

The goal is sanity. A balanced schedule and systems that work. So many times, we walk around with a wish list in our heads of things we’d like to change, but nothing changes without a concrete, actionable plan. As my husband likes to say,

“Sanity, you’ve got to PLAN for it.”

Try to visualize what a saner version of your life would look like. Can you identify the biggest areas that need work in order to make that happen?

Are you getting enough of the basics: sleep, healthy foods, exercise?

How effectively are you balancing your various roles as an employee (or business owner), partner, parent, family member, etc.?

Do you run your household efficiently, with systems in place for recurring tasks in order to save time and money?

Do you have enough down time for recharging your batteries? When you do have down time, are you choosing the right activities to give you a return of energy?

Everyone’s concept of sanity will vary based on their individual circumstances, values, and preferences. Some people need activities and social time to recharge. Some people, like me, prefer alone time with a good book instead.

The Plan

Now it’s time to get to work. The Sanity Plan has two components. The first is a set of principles that help guide us toward a less complicated life. The principles are available for quick use when you don’t have time for a lengthy decision making process. The second is a set of 5 personalized goals for making improvements in your life.

I have created a list of 10 important principles, but feel free to modify the list to fit your needs. I’ll cover the first principle here, but you can join my Sanity Plan Principles series for a detailed discussion of each.

Be present is the first principle.

I chose this one to be first because I don’t believe that any of us can change without being conscious our lives in real time. How can I see what is not working in my life if I am on autopilot? How can I know why I am angry and irritable with my husband if I cannot slow down and ask myself right then? Am I hungry, am I tired, am I feeling disconnected from my friends, or am I frustrated about something unrelated at work? Or, is it a sore spot between he and I because I haven’t been honest with him about a particular issue?

Being in the moment is the key to making any changes. How can we change anything if we cannot see what it is that needs to change?

Next, we set some high level goals. For this, I recommend setting 5 because more than that could get overwhelming. Don’t worry if you have more, you can write down as many as you like, but DO choose the 5 most important ones to use for your Sanity Plan.

For me, I have a laundry list of things I want to do, work on, and change about myself. The sheer number can easily overwhelm and stall me into complete inactivity. So instead, I set the following goals to prioritize change in certain areas of my life:

Work on improving the kids’ behavior (limit meltdowns, create better routines)
Strengthen my relationship with my husband (date nights, consistent co-parenting)
Make personal care a priority (sleep, exercise schedule, self-care plan)
Create organizational habits and routines (conquer my clutter bug)
Balance my work & creative projects with home life (create effective systems)

There are lots of helpful materials out there on how to set effective goals. If you are not sure, I suggest checking out this strategy or this strategy.

What’s Next?

So far, we have established Principles and Goals for our Sanity Plan. Take time to consider both, and make sure that you have chosen areas that will make the biggest impact in your life.

The next step is all about taking action. Stay tuned for Part 2, where I will cover:

Setting Specific & Timely Goals

Reviewing Your Progress Regularly

I’m looking forward to helping you work on your Sanity Plan! Part of my mission on this journey is to connect with other people interested in finding and creating balance in their lives.

What is the biggest area of your life that you would like to improve?

The Sanity Plan Principles Part 4– Forge Close Relationships

December 9, 2016 By Sara M. 2 Comments

Welcome to part four of The Sanity Plan Principles series. The fourth principle is:

Why do we need to “Forge Close Relationships?”

I bet you could instantly think of several reasons why you need close relationships. Relationships are a key component of our humanity. We live and thrive in an interconnected world.

But just knowing a ton of people is not enough. When you take a relationship deeper than just a casual acquaintance you can get so much more out of it.

Close relationships offer a sense of community. We become aware of the fact that we are not alone in this journey. We become tuned in to the needs of others outside of our immediate circles.

When you work to develop these relational bonds, you have someone to fall back on when you really need it the most. I’ve noticed that people are more likely to help one another when a connection has been established.

How do we “Forge Close Relationships?”

Note my use of the action word “forge.” I carefully chose this word because I want to emphasize the fact that it is our job to take action to create deeper relationships. They do not always happen naturally or without effort.

There are lots of ways to strengthen your relationships.

You can do this by sharing more intimately with the person. Instead of talking about a subject at the surface, dig a little deeper, express how you think or feel about the subject.

You can do this by sharing how you feel about the person directly. Do you tell them that you love them? Are you physically affectionate? And I am not just speaking about romantic relationships, although this applies in that case as well.

Can you deepen the relationship by helping the other person? An offer to help with your time or expertise can be a great relationship builder. This can be especially when it comes to business networking.

Beware of the Social Media Trap

It is really easy to fall into the trap of corresponding with family, friends, and work acquaintances primarily via social media. Even the use of digital communications such as text or email can be a barrier to closeness and understanding.

Have you ever gotten a message from someone that just came out wrong? No matter how you looked at it or tried to consider their point of view, it just came across as rude or distant.

This is because digital communications are missing some of the fundamental aspects of human interaction: facial expressions, body language, affect, tone, etc.

My experience

I know that I need close relationships in my life. When I begin to keep too many of my thoughts and emotions to myself, I default to feeling very alone.

I am extremely fortunate to have found a husband who I can share intimately with. This relationship is the backbone of my life. I also use emotional language with my children, parents, and siblings.

Outside of family, I’ve had a lot harder of a time developing friendships. I moved a lot throughout my life and haven’t had particularly longstanding friendships due to that. I like to have only a few really good friends at a time because I put a lot of energy into my relationships.

With my existing friends, I try to call them regularly (see social media above) and I like to get together with them as much as we can. I also know that I prefer to meet one on one with a friend, or even as two couples. Any more than that tends to overwhelm me.

I’ve made a bunch of new friends recently. I picked a couple of local women in a similar life stage to mine (with young kids) and really worked to get close with them. I am persistent in making plans to do play dates, balancing between being the host and the hosted (I like to be as fair as possible in sharing the burden). And when we do get together, I am honest and real, which often solicits a similar level of sharing in return. And as a result, I’ve been feeling a lot more connected to other people in my life.

Do you feel close to your family and friends right now? Are there any relationships that you would like to improve?

Next principle: Be Solution Oriented

5 Ideas for Sneaking Vegetables into Common Meals

November 15, 2016 By Sara M. 9 Comments

We have a small vegetable crisis in our house. It’s actually not the supply of fresh vegetables, but the lack of consumption of such a nutritious food group.

And honestly, I am so sick of the three vegetables I am “allowed” to serve: green beans, broccoli, and salad with minimal toppings.

So, I devised a plan: to sneak as many vegetables into their favorite meals without destroying the meal itself.

Here is what’s worked so far (“worked” being loosely defined as in it was eaten despite grotesque faces being made):

Lasagna – I added ½ of a yellow squash and ½ of a zucchini to a traditional lasagna recipe. My family has a major opposition to squash because of the mushy texture when cooked. To fix this, I put it in the food processor then sautéed it in onions before adding it to the meat. I was hoping the food processing and sautéing would disguise it completely, but the teen busted me because she could see the tiny bits of green skin. However, she did say that while she could taste the vegetables, it was “edible.” Note for next time: I think I am going to try to hide it in a chunky tomato sauce instead and worst case scenario I will remove the skin.
Tacos – I added a can of black beans to the ground beef. My littlest ones love beans and will eat them cold out of the can, but my husband and the teen aren’t crazy about the texture. Something about the way they squish when you bite into them. For the first round, I actually roughly chopped the beans to help cut down on the squish factor. Second time around I just left them whole and was surprised when no one complained. I think with tacos they are more prepared for all of the different textures because of all the additional toppings.
Veggie rich packaged foods – I am experimenting with packaged items that have been made with a partial serving of vegetables. Two examples of this are quite common, vegetable pasta and vegetable wraps. It does change the flavor and consistency a little but it is easily disguised by other ingredients such as tomato sauce or meat. This helps me feel a little better about serving such carb laden foods. I’ve been using Barilla pasta, but there are several major brands that now carry a veggie line.
Quiche – The trick with quiche is to add a bland vegetable such as spinach or peppers and sauté it with onions. Also, I started with tiny bits at first and then I’ve been slowly raising the proportion of vegetable to egg/meat/cheese.
Tomato sauce – I typically buy chunky tomato sauce, so it is very easy to add sautéed vegetables or chopped kale into it. The trick is to cut it small and keep the ratio of vegetable to sauce low. And you can raise the ratio as your family gets more accustomed to the new textures and flavors. Adding browned ground beef or sausage can mask most flavors.

So, short and sweet. I will definitely keep you in the loop as I continue my experiment.

Have you had any luck hiding vegetables or beans into your family’s regular meals?

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The Sanity Plan Principles Part 3– Build Your Network

November 10, 2016 By Sara M. 5 Comments

Welcome to part three of The Sanity Plan Principles series. The third principle is:

What is a Network?

Most often thought of in terms of work and business relationships, building a network is really important for support in many aspects of life.

Think of a network as a life support system: a collection of people and tools that help keep you functioning at your best.

Most often, the first network you are born into is your family. Early in life, your family determines what you do and who you meet. It often facilitates your initial social network, as parents often decide who their children associate with.

Beyond family, social, and professional networks, some additional network examples are health/networks and services/repair networks.

How do you “Build Your Network?”

Now that we’ve defined what a network is, how can we build one?

Building on the principles of being present and discovering yourself, we must assess the major components of our lives. This will determine the types of networks we need.

Consider your situation: Are you married or single? Do you have kids? Are you financially independent? Are you generally healthy or do you have health concerns?

Once you have determined the kind of network you need to work on, it’s time to take action. Are there people already in your life that can help you meet your needs? If that is not enough, create a plan to expand your resources by either joining similar interest groups or hiring someone to fill in the gaps.

How does “Building Our Network” help us?

In this interconnected life, it is very difficult to do everything for ourselves. We must rely on other people to fill in our gaps in experience, capability, and capacity.

Trying to be an expert in everything is an exercise in futility. There is simply not enough time or money required for each of us to master every skill needed in this modern life.

Building a network allows us to take advantage of others’ skills, and potentially return the favor with our skills and resources.

My experience

With young children and limited family support, I have been particularly focused on creating a caregiver network.

We have been forced to think outside of traditional resources, and build a custom support network to provide care for our children. After many months of trial and error, we have settled on a part time day care schedule for the 4-year-old and a part time babysitter for the 2-year-old. The babysitter handles them both in the mornings (including travel to and from day care) and I take over when they lay down for their naps. The sitter also watches the kids one evening each week so that my husband and I can go on a date.

We also determined that we needed additional backup care. Our readily available neighbor, with whom we have cultivated a mutual relationship, has graciously offered to be available to pick our kids up from school in an emergency. My mother in law is taking the girls to dance class one day a week, and can be called on for the occasional evening as well.

Each of these elements are carefully chosen pieces of our caregiver puzzle. I also have to be mindful of not overextending my use of the network and giving back where I can.

Have you established all of the networks you need for your Sanity Plan? Are there any that could use a little more cultivation?

Next principle: Forge Close Relationships

The Tantrum “Hangover”

November 2, 2016 By Sara M. 9 Comments

Another day, another tantrum. Just finished publishing a piece on how I am trying not to remember this time as the “dark ages” and then wham, I wake up to this:

My daughter melted down this morning. None of the usual tricks worked. She just got stuck in this very cyclical pattern of repeating herself. “No, I am not going to do that!” “No, I’m not going to my room.” “No, I am not going to calm myself down.” And so on.

And once the train was going, it was gone. The issue? She wanted to bring 3 toys with her to preschool today, which is not allowed. They have already made an exception for her to bring 1 small toy for security, but 3 is just over the top. Imagine the chaos of trying to participate in activities with 3 toys, or one of them getting lost, or even another child trying to play with one of her beloved attachments. CHAOS is only the beginning.

I offered her other solutions: she could either put 2 of her babies in a special place at home where I would keep them safe, or she could put them in her backpack and take them to school but not play with them while she is there. Nothing worked. She told me I didn’t have good solutions.

I tried to hold her calmly in a firm, comforting bear hug. Didn’t work.

I felt lost. After a half hour of listening to her rant on and on, I lost my patience. I told her she needed to make a decision or I would. And that I didn’t want to hear any more about it.

To my surprise, she calmed down and made her decision.

With my daughter, I am always threading that needle of working her through her emotions or trying to talk her down from the ledge. But sometimes I just can’t get through to her. She needs to know what the limits are. And how much everyone else is going to take.

In no time, she was packed up and shipped off to school. Even cheerful and lovey as we parted ways.

And me? I’m a wreck. I feel as though I have an emotional hangover. My heart hurts; I feel totally bummed. I can’t stand starting the day this way. Listening to her tantrum, losing my own patience, and raising my voice. It feels like we’ve ruined the record we were setting of tantrum free days.

In the midst of my misery, my husband calls. I don’t like venting to him about this because I don’t want to weigh him down – but as I talked, his words cut through my misery with complete clarity.

“She’s already well over it, why aren’t you?”

It reads snarky, but it wasn’t at all. He remembered being a kid, having drag out blow out tantrums, and being over it just 15 minutes later.

I was shocked. I never had that experience.

But here I am, 5 hours later, still reeling from the effects of the argument, while it was likely no longer even a thought in her mind.

So, for my future sanity, I am going to take a lesson from the kids’ play book:

When it’s over, I’m going to let it go.

A Sensory Diet ANY Mom Would Envy

October 31, 2016 By Sara M. 2 Comments

Parenting is overwhelming. Babies and toddlers have constant needs, and low thresholds for not having their needs met (read: CRYING). Coupled with the trademark lack of sleep and self-care, many moms feel worn out and exhausted.

One might think a Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) diagnosis smack in the middle of parenting two young kiddos would be depressing. Honestly, I was relieved to have found a way to better understand my struggles as a parent, particularly related to my oversensitivity to touch, sound, and smell. And when I found out the treatment would consist of the following “sensory diet,” I couldn’t be happier. The idea of sensory diet is to find ways to take breaks from stimulation and refill your energy tank (which gets drained by overstimulation).

I think every mom should take a cue from this diet, because as we all know, parenting can be an overtaxing, highly stressful season of life.

Create a Mom Space

Create a sacred space for yourself. Preferably with a door, my therapist advised. This is a space just for you to decompress, no children allowed (perhaps, hubby too?). This is critical for me because I need alone time to recharge. My brain is moving 1,000 miles per minute and when I am around too many other people and too much talking, I can no longer think clearly. The space should have calming décor and allow for quiet or relaxing sounds such as music.

Feed Your Senses

Replace negative stimulation with positive stimulation. For me, this relates to my overactive sense of smell. I’ll put it this way – I can smell EVERYTHING. I am constantly bombarded with smells, whether good, bad, or neutral. However, the smell of peppermint is super rich and calming for me, so I need to find a way to incorporate this smell into my daily life. I will use a diffuser, candle, or a scented hand cream in order to help me balance the constant bombardment of “displeasing” smells.

Meditation

You can do this anywhere, but it is especially helpful to do in your Mom Space. My therapist suggested the Brainspace app for a guided meditation. Similar to above, meditation gives your brain a break from external stimuli, and centers your focus back to your own needs.

Weighted Blankets/Lap Pads

Who doesn’t like to snuggle in a nice thick blanket or comforter? It doesn’t just have to be a cold winter night for me to want to cuddle on the couch with a heavy blanket and a good book. Adding extra weight to a blanket provides a calming secure sensation for the body and brain.

Weekly Exercise

I just wrote about how I am implementing this, despite the fact that it is quite possibly my least favorite part of this plan. Regular exercise has countless benefits for everyday physical health as well as recovering from pregnancy related body changes and hormone levels. Exercise also positively affects mental health by improving moods, clarity of thoughts, and more.

Monthly Massages!

My husband balked a little at this one, but I sure got a kick out of it. While I don’t know that we can afford such a luxury, the concept is amazing. Deep pressure work is healing for both the body and mind. Coupled with the time to get away from the busyness of the household, massage can provide a real boost of both relaxation and energy return.

I know, where do I sign up, right?

Do you already do any of the above? What else is a must for taking care of ourselves as mothers?

Setting Up My Exercise Routine

October 27, 2016 By Sara M. 9 Comments

I haven’t gotten to the goal setting part of the Sanity Plan, but I just wanted to write a quick note about one of my goals. If you’ve been reading, you may have heard me say how much I hate exercise. In fact, I often refer to exercise as an allergy of mine (along with cleaning).

But recently, it has come to a point where I simply have to address my sedentary nature. For my health, both physical and mental.

Ever since my son was born almost two years ago, I have been in significant back pain. I had a strange stabbing pain in my hip for the better part of a year from misalignment. And my upper neck and shoulders are rock hard from stress, on top of a long term injury.

I’ve done all the passive treatments I can do including chiropractic and massage, both with a therapeutic bent. This works for a short period, a couple weeks at best, before the symptoms recur.

The truth is that I am not doing any of the work needed to physical maintain any of the repairs they make.

As for my sanity, I am being constantly reminded by my reading or my therapist about the benefits of physical activity. How good it is for your brain. How good it is for being present. How good it is for balancing your hormones. Add those benefits to the fact that if regular exercise keeps me out of physical pain, it will be a winning combination.

I am not getting any younger, and I am finally ready to make a commitment to exercise. This was partially prompted by my brilliant therapist who suggested that I not enroll in a coveted writing class until I had accomplished this.

So, I’ve laid some groundwork. I have chosen two low impact activities based on what I’ve described above: yoga and swimming. I’ve decided to take classes because, knowing myself, I will be much more likely to stay committed if there is accountability.

I picked out a yoga studio very close by, reviewed the schedule, and spoke with a manager about my skill level and potential classes to take. As for swimming, my timing couldn’t be better as registration is open this week for a series that begins next week.

So there it is, my goal is out there in the world. I am going to exercise two times per week. Monday mornings for swim, and Tuesday nights for yoga.

Now I can go sign up for that writing class.

Do you incorporate exercise into your Sanity Plan? What is the biggest benefit you see?

How to Balance Competing Familial Obligations

October 25, 2016 By Sara M. 4 Comments

I frequently encounter competing familial obligations. And when it comes to family, I feel a much stronger urge to oblige, often sacrificing my sanity in the process. The trick is to balance these commitments based on their priority, and be proactive in finding solutions or alternatives if you can’t meet them all.

The Scenario

This past weekend we had earmarked for a Halloween tradition of pumpkin picking and carving at Grandma’s country house. About a week in advance, my single and carefree sister, told me she would be flying into a nearby city. She invited me to spend Saturday night and all of Sunday in the city, just the two of us.

This presented me with a very “tricky” situation as we have a young family that we are trying to establish traditions with. It was further complicated by the fact that I do want to work on having a better relationship with my sister now that my children are getting older (not breastfeeding, etc.).

The Decision Making Process

I was racking my brain for a way to try to make it work. I could take a separate car up to the country house, we could carve pumpkins on Saturday, and I could still make it into the city for a late dinner.

But I was dreading cutting into our weekend at the country and aware of how the kids would feel if I wasn’t there for the whole time. And the teen would be especially aware as she was really the driver in expressing how much this family tradition means to her. Not to mention the additional 5.5 hours that I would have to drive to make it work.

Part of this is a consequence outside of my control. My sister lives very far away, and gave me incredibly short notice to make these plans. Had we known earlier we could have potentially switched our plans given they were not time dependent.

Furthermore, I tend to think of my familial obligations in concentric circles surrounding me. So, the first layer would be our nuclear family (husband & kids), second layer would be our parents and siblings, and the third layer including everyone else.

Having this preset idea helps to stay firm in my prioritization of these commitments. No matter how I looked at it, I just couldn’t see how driving into the city would fit into our Sanity Plan.

The Solution

I talked it over with my husband as well to make sure we were in line. Once we were, I had to approach my sister to let her know the bad news. I was dreading it because I just knew she’d be upset. She has been consistently trying to get time to spend with me alone and I’ve been very slow to accommodate. I accept that this is a normal part of raising babies, but she doesn’t really understand that yet. And she has been really good about putting it aside by spending time with all of us, and being an especially good aunt to our children.

I was armed with two alternatives to visiting her in the city:

She was welcome to join us for our pumpkin tradition.
I would be willing to fly to her for a long weekend within the next month.

My heart was incredibly relieved to hear that it was no big deal that I wouldn’t be meeting up with her. She knew it was a stretch, but really had just wanted to throw it out there in case it would work. And she was thrilled with my offer to come visit her instead.

This situation had a great outcome (DISCAIMER: it does not always work out that well). My flight is booked and I am excited for a weekend where I can focus on reconnecting with my sister after being incredibly child and family focused for the past 4 years. And we were able to spend an entire weekend, uninterrupted, enriching a family tradition that I hope our children remember with affection for many years to come.

Have you encountered a situation like this recently? How do you balance your familial obligations?

THE SANITY PLAN PRINCIPLES PART 2– Discover Yourself

October 24, 2016 By Sara M. Leave a Comment

Welcome to the part two of The Sanity Plan Principles series. The second principle is:

What is “Discovering Yourself?”

When you turn your attention inward to study your own thoughts, feelings, motivations, and preferences, you are “discovering yourself.”

Figuring out who we are is a lifelong journey. Partly because the introspection and self-knowledge takes time, and partly because we change so much throughout the course of our lives.

How do you “Discover yourself?”

This brings us back to the first principle, Being Present. In order to learn more about ourselves, we must be willing to slow down and listen.
Listen to and acknowledge our own thoughts and feelings.

Ask yourself questions. Did you notice a particular reaction you had? Ask yourself, “Why did I react that way?”

Pay attention to your habits and preferences. Do you like to do things in a particular order? Why is that?

Do you prefer to do certain things at certain times of day? Why is that?

How does “Discovering Ourselves” help us?

Self-knowledge is a powerful tool. Armed with an understanding of yourself, you can make better decisions that more closely align with your needs.

Knowing who you are helps you communicate more clearly in existing relationships. It is also important when developing new relationships in terms of the people you choose and the way you engage them.

Understanding your unique preferences helps you organize your day and your life in a way that best suits you – whether it is the type of work you do, when and how you complete certain tasks, how you orchestrate family/social time, etc.

My experience

As my mother often reminds me, I am on a journey of “self-discovery.” I tend to have a natural tendency towards this as I am very introspective. I am fascinated to learn about my inner workings, and I also enjoy learning about what makes other people tick. It was part of my drive in pursuing a BA in Psychology.

The more I know about myself, the better equipped I am to handle whatever life throws my way. I have identified certain buttons I struggle with, which makes it easier to realize when I am falling back on an old habit or way of thinking. The ability to recognize a self-characteristic is the first step in being able to use tactics to change it or find a creative solution around it.

Not all characteristics are “bad” per se. I have recently discovered that I am a highly sensitive person. While I love to feel and experience, sometimes it can be overwhelming to others. Because I am aware of this in myself and its effect on others, I can control how much of that sensitivity I reveal.

Or, I am very aware of the fact that I do my best work in the morning when I am fresh and my mind is clear. So, I orchestrate my day in a way that I can dedicate that highly focused time to work or creativity.

What methods do you use in order to learn more about yourself? How does it help you to restore Sanity in your life?

Next principle: Build Your Network

How to Put Your Sanity Plan into Action

Setting Specific & Timely Goals

Reviewing Your Progress Regularly

The Secret Ingredient

Why Everyone Needs a Sanity Plan & How to Create One

The Sanity Plan.

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5 Ideas for Sneaking Vegetables into Common Meals

The Tantrum “Hangover”

A Sensory Diet ANY Mom Would Envy

Create a Mom Space

Feed Your Senses

Meditation

Weighted Blankets/Lap Pads

Weekly Exercise

Monthly Massages!

Setting Up My Exercise Routine

How to Balance Competing Familial Obligations

The Scenario

The Decision Making Process

The Solution

THE SANITY PLAN PRINCIPLES PART 2– Discover Yourself

Categories

Follow the Sanity on Instagram

Setting Specific & Timely Goals

Reviewing Your Progress Regularly

The Secret Ingredient

The Sanity Plan.

Create a Mom Space

Feed Your Senses

Meditation

Weighted Blankets/Lap Pads

Weekly Exercise

Monthly Massages!

The Scenario

The Decision Making Process

The Solution

Categories

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Follow the Sanity on Instagram