Thanks to all of the readers of my popular piece, Why I Became a Snowbird in my 30’s.
I responded to many of the comments, but I wanted to provide a formal update.
Unfortunately, we have had to give up snowbirding. Over the years we faced many barriers to our trips, but the biggest hurdle is the kids’ schooling.
Inflexible School Systems
During our last trip, we had to finagle a partial trip for our middle schooler, my stepdaughter, because she was only able to take 3 weeks off of school. We thought we were in pretty good shape because it was pre-approved with the school and we were told she’d be given work to do while we were away. We arranged to have her grandparents take care of her because her mother does not live locally.
When it came time to take the trip, the teachers did not have work prepared, and instead told our daughter to enjoy her vacation. Despite the pre-approval and offer to work on vacation, the teachers appeared to penalize her for the remainder of the year, even after she caught up with the rest of the class. We were extremely unhappy with this outcome and registered this worry for future trips.
Now that she is in high school, and if it were just her, we *can* resume our Florida trips because her high school offers online school. She can actually take the first semester in person, which ends around Christmas, and then participate in online school for the rest of the year. All of the high schools in our area offer this option.
Unfortunately, this is our younger daughter’s first year in elementary school. At the orientation we inquired about the possibility of a long trip to Florida in the winter. The administrator looked surprised that we’d even asked something like this; he said the only way we could do it would be to disenroll her from their school, enroll her in Florida, and then reenroll her in Pennsylvania when we returned. And honestly, it sounded too disruptive to go through all those hoops.
Just as I was preparing to write this, I did hear of another family from my area (not the same primary school, though) that actually does this. My immediate concern was how the kids adapted to that much change every year. And to my surprise, they love it. The kids have friends in both locations, and it’s been so regular that no-one even bats an eye at it now. But, I still hesitate because I don’t know if it would be good for my kids. Even during our prior trips at their very young ages, I noticed a considerable transition period both when we’d arrive and when we’d return home.
So, as you can see, the biggest problem for us is schooling. There are also a couple of housing factors that would also complicate things if we decided to do it anyways:
1) The area that we were renting in has gotten more and more expensive every year
2) We do not always rent the same house so the kids could potentially have to go to different schools. And while it would be preferable to buy a property, the higher prices would probably deter us from doing that.
3) Lack of familial support. If you’ve been reading, you know that we don’t have much in the way of family support systems. Instead, we have had to work really hard to build up our child care support networks. To confound matters, when we leave for extended periods of time, we risk our home support network while simultaneously having to build a new temporary one in Florida.
Our New Plan
I’m sorry I cannot report more success in this area because I know a number of you are considering snowbirding with kids. This past winter was really hard for my family, especially my husband. We couldn’t even take a short trip this year because we had a newborn and quite frankly, there are so many of us now. At six people, we now need two hotel rooms to be comfortable. So, around February, my husband wilted despite a couple of his business trips being in sunny locales.
As the cold season approaches again, the topic of how we are going to deal with future winters has become urgent again. One idea is to plan a pick-me-up vacation of at least 10 days in late January/early February. It has to be a sunny location, and we will stretch for even longer even if that means we send the teen home early. Because there are so many of us, we’ll be looking for an Airbnb type place so we can stay centralized in one place and cook for ourselves to offset the cost.
Secondarily, we are going to start trying some active winter trips. Living in the northeast we are within driving distance from many ski resorts so we are going to take some weekend trips to keep up our activity level despite the cold.
And lastly, we’ve all begun to take a supplemental Vitamin D. I learned that we simply do not get enough vitamin D from the sun in our area so a daily supplement can help boost energy levels. I’ve also purchased my husband a sun lamp that he can use in his office to increase his intake of vitamin D.
I’ll let you know how each of these things turn out. I wish there were easier ways to manage schooling for those of us that prefer to snowbird for our health. I can only hope that school systems will become more flexible in the future, and I am looking forward to the later years when our highschoolers will have more flexibility.
One Last Note on Homeschooling
The next obvious question is… if school is the problem, why don’t we homeschool our children?
And the truth of the matter is that we (I mean “I”) could. But, after spending the last six years with my children, I have come to the conclusion that our children would do better in a traditional school setting. I think this is a result of the blend of personalities (including my own) and the ages of each member. Plus, having the children in the home day in and day out makes it difficult for my husband to concentrate on his business. I am open to homeschooling the children as they mature and progress in their education if I am able to test that our learning relationship improves.
I wish I had better news for those of you interested in forging your own path for your family instead the the typical one. I’d love to hear success stories in the comments if you have found a way to make this work for you!
That’s where ‘Survival Mode’ comes in.
To balance my writing, I run. I am not a hard-core runner. I don’t have sleek abdominals or toned arms. I run to keep the witch inside me at bay. And, I run to let the witch out. There is an ongoing inner monologue when I run. Some days, I sort out a writing dilemma or a work problem, other times I rehash a conversation that didn’t go as planned. I think about my children and what is going on in their lives. I look at the trees or the creek that winds along my trail. Or, I stare 7-8 feet in front of me and will my legs to keep moving.
So, I was very excited to learn about the award-winning Lorena Canals Rugs. These rugs are practically designed with me in mind!
If you have kids, you know that they often spend a lot of time on the floor, and my daughter is no exception. I love that this rug is so plush that she often grabs a book and lays on it to read.
I can already tell that this high quality rug will stand the test of time. Since she is the oldest of my three, it will likely get passed down to the boys at some point.
There are so many things that are different with having your third baby. You typically know what to expect with pregnancy, delivery, and beyond. You’ve got other kids in tow. And… you probably have most everything you need, especially if the child is the same gender as at least one of your other kids.
because even if we buy everything ourselves, most of the items are eligible for a 15% completion discount because we are Prime members (plus we get 5% back with our Amazon credit card).
Am I?
It’s pretty typical that I compare my shortcomings to other mothers’ accomplishments. One day my husband was describing in full detail watching his grandmother make pies from scratch, painstakingly crafting and rolling out the pie crust by hand. I listened intently as he reminisced about the unbelievable buttery taste, superior to any store-bought creation that passes as dessert today. To which I remarked, “I don’t know how mothers used to have time to do that.” I have NEVER EVER made any pie crust by hand. It simply would take too much time (and require more patience and skill than I currently possess). But it’s not just the baking, it’s the stories of mothers who sewed clothes for their children, ironed their husband’s shirts, grew their own fruits and vegetables, made every meal from scratch, and on and on.
When I consider these and other jobs I maintain, it’s easier to see why I am ALWAYS feeling behind on my domestic tasks. I mean, there’s also the fact that I don’t particularly like cleaning and organizing. But when I add up all the hours spent on traditionally non-SAHM tasks, I can see where my husband is coming from.
And no, I don’t mean your gas tank (although that’s probably a good idea as well).
Personal